Water Under the Bridge
senryu110 total reviews
Comment from katiemouse
Living here in West Australia and watching what is going on in the eastern states, your senryu (something I have never hear of) is very appropriate, except not only makeshift but grand homes are being swept away today and the bridges also.
I like the theme, and they way you have used words.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2011
   |
Living here in West Australia and watching what is going on in the eastern states, your senryu (something I have never hear of) is very appropriate, except not only makeshift but grand homes are being swept away today and the bridges also.
I like the theme, and they way you have used words.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 12-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2011
-
Katie, thank you for your thoughtful comments. Could I please ask for clarification as to why the 4 rating? What did you find lacking? Brooke
-
I am only learning what this site is all about,I still am not sure what we are supposed to give, I gave one person three, they were upset, but I did not think much of what they wrote, maybe I should have given you more as I did love your poem, sorry,
-
Welcome to the site. The important thing is that you offer reasons for ratings lower than 5. I have given people 4's before, but only if there were identifiable flaws, which I then pointed out so the person could go back and revise them. That is really the expectation, that you give constructive criticism to match the rating. There is nothing wrong at all with giving less than a five, but there should be clear reasons that you state for doing so. It takes a little while to feel things out :-)
Comment from kintesiegel
This is an interesting poem that I had to contemplate for a while because it is somewhat double edged even with your explanation. Makeshift homesteads being swept under the bridge confused me even with your explanation.
It seemed a bit dark and at the same time stoical as if the power of nature was unrelenting on its attack of these temporary homes. Thought provoking work
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2010
|
This is an interesting poem that I had to contemplate for a while because it is somewhat double edged even with your explanation. Makeshift homesteads being swept under the bridge confused me even with your explanation.
It seemed a bit dark and at the same time stoical as if the power of nature was unrelenting on its attack of these temporary homes. Thought provoking work
Comment Written 29-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2010
-
kintesiegel, thanks so much for your review. It was intended to be very dark. Brooke
Comment from kateynixon
Your poem made me feel really angry - as though people who have their lives washed away were just water under the bridge - what a horrible thing to say.
Then I read your profile and the definition of a senryu and I realised what you meant. Senyru look like a really good way of letting of some political anger through poetry, so you've inspired me to have a go. Thank you for showing me what a senyru is in such a graphic way!
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2010
 |
Your poem made me feel really angry - as though people who have their lives washed away were just water under the bridge - what a horrible thing to say.
Then I read your profile and the definition of a senryu and I realised what you meant. Senyru look like a really good way of letting of some political anger through poetry, so you've inspired me to have a go. Thank you for showing me what a senyru is in such a graphic way!
Comment Written 27-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2010
-
Katey, thanks so very much for your insightful comments and most generous review - yes, it is a horrible thing for people to think, that the homeless are just water under the bridge. I'm so glad the meaning came across to you and that you took extra time to think about it. Please let me know when you've written your senryu :-) Brooke
Comment from Aletheia
This is fabulous Brooke, and coupled with your author notes it certainly is 'food for thought'. I love the satori, and the pic is perfect. A well deserved win. :)
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2010
|
This is fabulous Brooke, and coupled with your author notes it certainly is 'food for thought'. I love the satori, and the pic is perfect. A well deserved win. :)
Comment Written 20-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2010
-
Begonia, thanks so very much, my friend :-) I appreciate your review. Brooke
Comment from Kateb
Many layers of meaning are contained in this pearl of a senryu. For us a heavy downpour of rain may be water under the bridge but for those struggling to find a nook that they can call home, rain and consequent flooding are an ever present threat. These havens and their occupants are not unimportant and should not be forgotten.
Thankyou again Adewpearl!
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2010
|
Many layers of meaning are contained in this pearl of a senryu. For us a heavy downpour of rain may be water under the bridge but for those struggling to find a nook that they can call home, rain and consequent flooding are an ever present threat. These havens and their occupants are not unimportant and should not be forgotten.
Thankyou again Adewpearl!
Comment Written 11-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2010
-
Kateb, thanks ever so much for your most insightful comments and your wonderfully generous review of this senryu - I truly appreciate it. :-) Brooke
Comment from Mastery
Hi, Brooke! Congratulations! This poem definitely deserved the win. As usual, it has that "Brooke" touch to it that makes it so profound. Great writing here....Bob
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2010
|
Hi, Brooke! Congratulations! This poem definitely deserved the win. As usual, it has that "Brooke" touch to it that makes it so profound. Great writing here....Bob
Comment Written 08-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2010
-
Bob, thanks, my friend :-) Brooke
Comment from amada
Congratulations in winning this contest. Very well done. It's also so "in the moment." Water under the bridge carries so many entonnations. Great work.
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2010
|
Congratulations in winning this contest. Very well done. It's also so "in the moment." Water under the bridge carries so many entonnations. Great work.
Comment Written 06-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2010
-
Thanks so much, my friend - I really appreciate your reading this long after its promotion :-) Brooke
Comment from prophetess
Another good poem Brooke. Water under the bridge has so many meanings. The literal sense and the metaphoric sense. It is all worth thinking about.
Prophetess
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2010
|
Another good poem Brooke. Water under the bridge has so many meanings. The literal sense and the metaphoric sense. It is all worth thinking about.
Prophetess
Comment Written 30-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2010
-
Prophetess, thanks so much for your thoughtful comments :-) Brooke
-
You're very welcome Brooke
Comment from Isaiah Ramesses
A fine poem, Brooke. Not sure what this contests calls for, but can't find any morality to any of these Senryu entries--accept rain and water(which usually means people in creative writings). Still, it flows like all your other works. Fine job.
Isaiah
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2010
|
A fine poem, Brooke. Not sure what this contests calls for, but can't find any morality to any of these Senryu entries--accept rain and water(which usually means people in creative writings). Still, it flows like all your other works. Fine job.
Isaiah
Comment Written 29-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2010
-
Thanks, Isaiah - afraid I did not understand your comments about morality and rain and water :-) Brooke
-
Others have simular Senryu entries describing rain, puddles, and such. That's all.
-
I certainly hope they are not making the same satiric point that I am!
-
Lol! I hope not either, Brooke. They can't keep up with you.
Isaiah
Comment from Just2Write
Senryus are poems to make us think and this one does just that. It is sad that some folks are living a life so full with hopelessness in a world where so much bounty exists.
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2010
|
Senryus are poems to make us think and this one does just that. It is sad that some folks are living a life so full with hopelessness in a world where so much bounty exists.
Comment Written 29-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2010
-
Thank you, Rose - yes, the contrasts in our society are just mindblowing, and the gap between rich and poor continues to grow. Brooke
