Whispers in the Wind
Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "My Dogs --by JAMES"Brook's best lead dog is struck deaf
11 total reviews
Comment from anne1204
Nice reading very descriptive of the setting and characters. I got cold reading about the race. The next chapter should be interesting to see what happens next. Good writing. Anne
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2010
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Nice reading very descriptive of the setting and characters. I got cold reading about the race. The next chapter should be interesting to see what happens next. Good writing. Anne
Comment Written 28-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2010
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Thank you, Anne. Now that the holidays are over, I may put my author hat back on. However, this was the last chapter of the novella. If you think I should go on with more, you're not the only one.
Comment from MissMerri
This is a super ending to this YA novel, MissAlaska! I enjoyed every chapter and this was right up there on a par with the earlier ones. Well done!! I do hope I see this in print soon.
A couple of suggestions, though not really 'corrections.' Just my feeling about some of the lines.
"Remember what I said to you that day when I was on my Yamaha. (seems like this needs a question mark at the end)
"One day after another," (maybe, "Day after day, I take the dogs out to pull the sled on trails that they love" or something other than "one day after another" ?? That just sounded odd to me.)
"but I seem to notice only James." (I would leave out "seem to" and just say "but I notice only James." because Brook is the speaker and she wouldn't say "seem to" as if she were observing herself.)
"It is in a confident way that he gets all eight dogs lined up." (This sounded odd too, but could be better if Brook were to say, "His confidence obvious, he gets all eight dogs...." or perhaps just "Confidently, he lines up all eight dogs." A bit awkward to say "It is in a confident way..." was my thinking.) Whatever you decide, you have a great little story going on, and I loved it! Now let's get it published! :*)
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2010
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This is a super ending to this YA novel, MissAlaska! I enjoyed every chapter and this was right up there on a par with the earlier ones. Well done!! I do hope I see this in print soon.
A couple of suggestions, though not really 'corrections.' Just my feeling about some of the lines.
"Remember what I said to you that day when I was on my Yamaha. (seems like this needs a question mark at the end)
"One day after another," (maybe, "Day after day, I take the dogs out to pull the sled on trails that they love" or something other than "one day after another" ?? That just sounded odd to me.)
"but I seem to notice only James." (I would leave out "seem to" and just say "but I notice only James." because Brook is the speaker and she wouldn't say "seem to" as if she were observing herself.)
"It is in a confident way that he gets all eight dogs lined up." (This sounded odd too, but could be better if Brook were to say, "His confidence obvious, he gets all eight dogs...." or perhaps just "Confidently, he lines up all eight dogs." A bit awkward to say "It is in a confident way..." was my thinking.) Whatever you decide, you have a great little story going on, and I loved it! Now let's get it published! :*)
Comment Written 23-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2010
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You are so sweet to spend time with this chapter. I sure like your suggestions, so I'll edit again. Thanks so much, my dear friend.
Comment from MyYiaYia
Isn't it funny, one of those dogs in the picture is left handed. He runs his legs opposite of the other dogs. It is nice to see it in other animals beside ourselves. I wonder if he smarter that the others or what is different about him. Oh well, on with the review.
-or slices [off > of] a roasted goose. My gaze [wonders > wanders] to Brook.-
Oh no, this isn't the end of the book is it? I am waiting to see what happens with James and Brook. Do they fall in love and become high school sweethearts? Is it going to be a series, kind of like 'Little House on the Prairie'? If it is the end, it was a very sweet story and I enjoyed the heck out of it. Well done, Marie! You get 6 stars overall. Debbie :0)
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2010
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Isn't it funny, one of those dogs in the picture is left handed. He runs his legs opposite of the other dogs. It is nice to see it in other animals beside ourselves. I wonder if he smarter that the others or what is different about him. Oh well, on with the review.
-or slices [off > of] a roasted goose. My gaze [wonders > wanders] to Brook.-
Oh no, this isn't the end of the book is it? I am waiting to see what happens with James and Brook. Do they fall in love and become high school sweethearts? Is it going to be a series, kind of like 'Little House on the Prairie'? If it is the end, it was a very sweet story and I enjoyed the heck out of it. Well done, Marie! You get 6 stars overall. Debbie :0)
Comment Written 12-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2010
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Debbie, you are so very generous in commenting on this piece and giving it a Six. Maybe, someday, I'll drag the story on --- maybe. Thanks a million for catching errors. Marie
Comment from Roberta Joan Jensen
It's good to read another chapter of this book. I've missed reading t.
I'm barely out of the house[] when boots thump on the porch and down steps.
His dogs yelp, jerk and lung[e] forward
Is this the end of the book?
Roberta
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2010
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It's good to read another chapter of this book. I've missed reading t.
I'm barely out of the house[] when boots thump on the porch and down steps.
His dogs yelp, jerk and lung[e] forward
Is this the end of the book?
Roberta
Comment Written 09-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2010
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Yes, this is the end of the novella. I hope to launch something different fairly soon. Thanks for catching my errors. You are a great reviewer, Roberta.
Comment from irishauthorme
This is a great story, and I liked the way that you wrote it in two parts , that made it easier to understand. Most of us "Lowlanders are unaware of the details and trials that are always there when you race dogsled teams.
Your dialogue moved the story along at a brisk pace, and also added a lot of realism. Good work, Kid!
irish
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2010
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This is a great story, and I liked the way that you wrote it in two parts , that made it easier to understand. Most of us "Lowlanders are unaware of the details and trials that are always there when you race dogsled teams.
Your dialogue moved the story along at a brisk pace, and also added a lot of realism. Good work, Kid!
irish
Comment Written 09-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2010
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You are a sweatheart with your comments. I'm so glad to reach the end of this novella and hope to accomplish something new. Thanks a million, Mr. Irish.
Comment from singersun
I found this story to be charming and I would read more to find out what happens at the dance. Well written it is an easy and interesting read. Good Job! I don't see any mistakes and I didn't get bored halfway in. My son would like this story!
~Singersun~
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2010
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I found this story to be charming and I would read more to find out what happens at the dance. Well written it is an easy and interesting read. Good Job! I don't see any mistakes and I didn't get bored halfway in. My son would like this story!
~Singersun~
Comment Written 08-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2010
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I appreciate your comments and review. Thank you.
Comment from Shirley McLain
Great chapter, full of action and you can feel the young love in the air. I think I was disapointed she didn't win the race but maybe there will be another one. Good job.
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2010
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Great chapter, full of action and you can feel the young love in the air. I think I was disapointed she didn't win the race but maybe there will be another one. Good job.
Comment Written 08-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2010
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I appreciate your comments and review, Texasgal. Thank you. Marie
Comment from FredCollingwood
I've always loved animals and in particular, dogs. This and previous chapers underscore how amazing these wonderful these animals are.
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2010
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I've always loved animals and in particular, dogs. This and previous chapers underscore how amazing these wonderful these animals are.
Comment Written 08-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2010
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I appreciate your comments and review. Thank you.
Comment from forestport12
What an interesting idea for a young adult book. The writing is sharp and clean and pace moves nicely. From my old eyes it feels like you can build some interest , and the story has me looking forward to the next scene. Did I the reader over hear them entertaining the notion of a much bigger race?
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2010
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What an interesting idea for a young adult book. The writing is sharp and clean and pace moves nicely. From my old eyes it feels like you can build some interest , and the story has me looking forward to the next scene. Did I the reader over hear them entertaining the notion of a much bigger race?
Comment Written 08-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2010
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The Iditarod would be a mighty long story. Whew! I appreciate your comments and review. Thank you, Forestport.
Comment from MizKat
AlaskaStory - This is the first time I've read a chapter of your book. It is very interesting. It's like a story that can stand on it's own. I hope to read more of it of your works. Kat
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2010
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AlaskaStory - This is the first time I've read a chapter of your book. It is very interesting. It's like a story that can stand on it's own. I hope to read more of it of your works. Kat
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 08-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2010
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I appreciate your comments and review. Thank you.
