What Have I Done So Wrong?
A search inside ones own heart and soul.15 total reviews
Comment from Wendyanne
Hi oldefoggie. I enjoyed this poem but I did find line 16 very awkward. I think it needs a bit of re-writing but apart from that, I enjoyed it.
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2010
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Hi oldefoggie. I enjoyed this poem but I did find line 16 very awkward. I think it needs a bit of re-writing but apart from that, I enjoyed it.
Comment Written 14-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2010
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Thanks, Wendyanne. I'll take a look at line 16. I enjoy feedback, it helps improve my work.
Comment from markk
beautiful and sad poem reflecting how little people can care for others and how often they will not give the other the care they need or see past a person's appearance. so sad.
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2010
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beautiful and sad poem reflecting how little people can care for others and how often they will not give the other the care they need or see past a person's appearance. so sad.
Comment Written 14-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2010
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Thank you for your kind review. It is rewarding to know the reader feels the emotion one tries to convey. Thank you, markk.
Comment from DBastian
I do love the questions and thoughts that you present in this poem. It flow quite well, too.
I think I've asked many of these questions, myself. And I've wanted it to come to a breathtaking conclusion. And it does - not about others, but about what is (I've) made of the situation. I won't go on - you've described your emotions quite well. We all must search, and you are searching ... well.
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2010
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I do love the questions and thoughts that you present in this poem. It flow quite well, too.
I think I've asked many of these questions, myself. And I've wanted it to come to a breathtaking conclusion. And it does - not about others, but about what is (I've) made of the situation. I won't go on - you've described your emotions quite well. We all must search, and you are searching ... well.
Comment Written 14-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2010
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Living is a life long search inside our selves. I wanted to put the experience into words. Your review tells me that my narrator did just that. Thank you for your kind words.
Comment from juliaSjames
You raise an interesting issue in your poem. Why don't some of us fit in? Why are human beings judgemental? I agree that introspection is necessary. But moreso, self-confidence is required. We are all perfect children of a living God, and we need to claim our royal heritage, regardless of the opinion of the world.
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2010
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You raise an interesting issue in your poem. Why don't some of us fit in? Why are human beings judgemental? I agree that introspection is necessary. But moreso, self-confidence is required. We are all perfect children of a living God, and we need to claim our royal heritage, regardless of the opinion of the world.
Comment Written 12-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2010
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Thank you for your review, juliajames. I appreciate your comments. I like to see how others perceive of my work. Again, Thank you.
Comment from Magics02
You have my friendship as I can tell you I know of what you write here. You seem to have alot of love and compassion in your write here and to heck with those that do not see your light and wonderful write. I admired this very much. Hey I am from Florida too:) magics
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2010
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You have my friendship as I can tell you I know of what you write here. You seem to have alot of love and compassion in your write here and to heck with those that do not see your light and wonderful write. I admired this very much. Hey I am from Florida too:) magics
Comment Written 11-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2010
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Thank you for your great review. It's always refreshing when a reader sees the point or concept one is trying to convey in ones work.
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Oh yes I know how that is and your poem was spot on:)
Comment from Kelly Shackelford
This is a very sad and moving poem almost as i the person feels invisible. It moves well and has great from thanks you for sharing it with us
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2010
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This is a very sad and moving poem almost as i the person feels invisible. It moves well and has great from thanks you for sharing it with us
Comment Written 11-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2010
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Thank you for your kind review. I appreciate your insight.
Comment from RYME4U
What a soul searching poem this is! Sadness and lonliness come through clearly in each verse.The rhymes are good and the self-analytical musing is well done. A sad poem but a good poem, too
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2010
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What a soul searching poem this is! Sadness and lonliness come through clearly in each verse.The rhymes are good and the self-analytical musing is well done. A sad poem but a good poem, too
Comment Written 11-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2010
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Thank you, RYME4U, for your review. It reinforces that I achieved my goal in writing this particular poem.
Comment from cunninglinguist
Well done.9-10 stanzas is no small feat.The words are deep and real but some of the themes repeat themselves and I personally think it coneys no new thoughts. The artwork with the write is also great and catchy. Thanks for sharing
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reply by the author on 11-Oct-2010
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Well done.9-10 stanzas is no small feat.The words are deep and real but some of the themes repeat themselves and I personally think it coneys no new thoughts. The artwork with the write is also great and catchy. Thanks for sharing
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2010
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Thank you for your review. When you say it conveys no new thoughts, are you referring to the poem itself or to a particular verse. The reviews help me to improve my work, so I am most interested in what you are referring to. Thank you.
Comment from lola29
Your poem is soo sad because I don't think anyone should be shunned so badly. Most likely they are intimiated by our goodness. I think they are to blame.
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2010
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Your poem is soo sad because I don't think anyone should be shunned so badly. Most likely they are intimiated by our goodness. I think they are to blame.
Comment Written 11-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2010
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Thank you, lola29, for your comments. They are important to me.
Comment from jadapenn
I loved your self-exploratory poem. I think many of us can relate to this and ask what have I done so wrong? In our modern world friends are hard to come by and keep. It is sad that they pass up this gift of friendship. Everyone grows old and then loneliness moves in.
Well written and presented. luv jada
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2010
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I loved your self-exploratory poem. I think many of us can relate to this and ask what have I done so wrong? In our modern world friends are hard to come by and keep. It is sad that they pass up this gift of friendship. Everyone grows old and then loneliness moves in.
Well written and presented. luv jada
Comment Written 11-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2010
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jadapenn, thank you for your kind review. Friendship is a gift...and yes, it is passed by so many times.
