My Book of Favored Sonnets
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "Eternity Beckoned"My collection of various sonnets.
30 total reviews
Comment from Mary Ann MCPhedran
A well written poem with good descriptive display and encourages the reader to read on I have no suggestion of change in the script. A well written
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2015
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A well written poem with good descriptive display and encourages the reader to read on I have no suggestion of change in the script. A well written
Comment Written 30-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2015
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Thanks so much for taking the time to read and review.
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Thank you
Comment from circlespotdot
Hello. I love this writing..sonnet style. Your subject to honor Michael shines and I am honored to read your poetry. Thank you for sharing your extra notes below as I love to learn and this is one of the reasons I am participating on this site.
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2011
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Hello. I love this writing..sonnet style. Your subject to honor Michael shines and I am honored to read your poetry. Thank you for sharing your extra notes below as I love to learn and this is one of the reasons I am participating on this site.
Comment Written 11-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2011
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Oh, thanks so much for visiting this one. I love writing sonnets but for quite some time now my muse has been quiet, haven't written much since Michael passed actually. Thanks again for taking the time.
Comment from nancyjam
This is a beautiful tribute to Michael and a
well crafted Sonnet with excellent rhyme and meter.
I love the final lines for their spirit of hope.
Nicely done. Best wishes for success in the
contest.
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2010
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This is a beautiful tribute to Michael and a
well crafted Sonnet with excellent rhyme and meter.
I love the final lines for their spirit of hope.
Nicely done. Best wishes for success in the
contest.
Comment Written 27-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2010
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thank you for taking the time to read and review
Comment from adewpearl
Dawn, this is a lovely poem in perfect sonnet form, a moving tribute to Michael. Your structure, iambic pentameter and rhyming are all impeccable, and your use of enjambment is wonderful, adding to the natural flow of your words.
This is just a joy to read aloud, my friend. Just stunning. :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2010
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Dawn, this is a lovely poem in perfect sonnet form, a moving tribute to Michael. Your structure, iambic pentameter and rhyming are all impeccable, and your use of enjambment is wonderful, adding to the natural flow of your words.
This is just a joy to read aloud, my friend. Just stunning. :-) Brooke
Comment Written 27-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2010
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Thank you, Brooke, you are most kind. Good luck in the contest, you have a very strong entry.
Comment from DragonSkulls
Wow, excellent piece, flawlessly done. You captured his work perfectly. There were some great entries for this contest, but this is clearly the best one I've read. I wish you well in the voting. It won my vote. /Ron
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2010
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Wow, excellent piece, flawlessly done. You captured his work perfectly. There were some great entries for this contest, but this is clearly the best one I've read. I wish you well in the voting. It won my vote. /Ron
Comment Written 27-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2010
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Probably the only one, but I shall take it, ;) There's some great entries and yours is one of the top. I quite honestly think this contest has probably been one of the hardest to judge. So many great writers submitted beautiful entries. Thanks so much for your encouraging words.
Comment from Judian James
Beautifully written JL and your author's notes were so sad. I realize how close you were to Jarls, and I am truly sorry for your loss. You showed him a great tribute with this piece. I'm sure he is thrilled and saddened that you are sad. BRAVO!
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2010
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Beautifully written JL and your author's notes were so sad. I realize how close you were to Jarls, and I am truly sorry for your loss. You showed him a great tribute with this piece. I'm sure he is thrilled and saddened that you are sad. BRAVO!
Comment Written 26-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2010
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You are right, he would not want sadness and I'm doing better with each passing day. I just really miss him. Thanks so much for your loving review. xoxox
Comment from missy98writer
Dawn of Tomorrow,
What a beautiful traditional sonnet you've written in honor of Jarlsband. It's such a tragedy he died too young in my opinion. Gorgeous art work of Angelheart's you used. Excellent rhyme and meter, bitter-sweet narrative, and very descriptive writing. I enjoyed the stanzas:
Thy mem'ries dance midst star-lit raven skies.
O Michael, let thy whispers ride the wind,
deliver comfort to my blurry eyes.
I'll meet thee, friend, when life He doth rescind
and find thee in a hope-lined realm of love,
embraced by peace once searched for but not found,
yet overflows in paradise above.
Until then, bathe me, let thy words surround
You poem is a fabulous entry in the contest. Good luck in the contest and thanks for sharing your marvelous traditional sonnet and lovely tribute to a fallen FS poet.
Melissa.
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2010
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Dawn of Tomorrow,
What a beautiful traditional sonnet you've written in honor of Jarlsband. It's such a tragedy he died too young in my opinion. Gorgeous art work of Angelheart's you used. Excellent rhyme and meter, bitter-sweet narrative, and very descriptive writing. I enjoyed the stanzas:
Thy mem'ries dance midst star-lit raven skies.
O Michael, let thy whispers ride the wind,
deliver comfort to my blurry eyes.
I'll meet thee, friend, when life He doth rescind
and find thee in a hope-lined realm of love,
embraced by peace once searched for but not found,
yet overflows in paradise above.
Until then, bathe me, let thy words surround
You poem is a fabulous entry in the contest. Good luck in the contest and thanks for sharing your marvelous traditional sonnet and lovely tribute to a fallen FS poet.
Melissa.
Comment Written 26-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2010
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Thank you so much Melissa, truly appreciate your kind response.
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
This is simply lovely, Dawn,
the content, the smoothest
of flows to the words, rhythm
and rhyme, all making it most
impressive - and I'm sure Michael
enjoyed this as he's enjoyed them
all and is looking down on us.
Margaret
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2010
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This is simply lovely, Dawn,
the content, the smoothest
of flows to the words, rhythm
and rhyme, all making it most
impressive - and I'm sure Michael
enjoyed this as he's enjoyed them
all and is looking down on us.
Margaret
Comment Written 26-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2010
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He is definately in a poet's heaven reading all these poems about him, LOL He was a gem and he'd love that he has inspired so many. Thanks Margaret.
Comment from Domino
This is a fabulous sonnet and personal tribute to Michael.
Your personal friendship, admiration and miss shines through in excellent meter, rhyme and appropriate sonnet vocabulary. Just a teeny suggestion as I had to read it twice - 1st line, perhaps 'IN star-lit raven skies'.
I love 'sweet poetic wine' as I do the whole thing.
Good luck with this worthy entry.
Ray xx
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2010
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This is a fabulous sonnet and personal tribute to Michael.
Your personal friendship, admiration and miss shines through in excellent meter, rhyme and appropriate sonnet vocabulary. Just a teeny suggestion as I had to read it twice - 1st line, perhaps 'IN star-lit raven skies'.
I love 'sweet poetic wine' as I do the whole thing.
Good luck with this worthy entry.
Ray xx
Comment Written 26-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2010
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how about midst? That darn line has given me fits. I originally had through but someone felt that was too hard a syllable. Thanks for your time, Ray, always appreciated.
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LOL about your 'fits' I just re-read and see what you mean about 'midst' I'm sure it IS ONE syllable but as you mentioned it, I kept going over it and IN THE END stuck on the word, LOL. How about 'mid'?
xx
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Oh, think I've got it, Thy mem'ry drifts in star-lit raven skies
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You HAVE 'got it' - I love the abbreviation which retains what you're saying and reads very smoothly.
xx
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OR - 'Thy mem'ry's THERE(or 'SEEN') in star-lit raven skies' ?
Comment from Charles Keith
Hi
This is a good classic poem and a fine tribute to a loved poet on FS.
Although this does not make it a poor sonnet, I noticed a trochee (Dum-da) and arguably at least one pyrrhic (da-da)
Having said that I am not crazy about totally iambic sonnets
so I reckon this is pretty good technically
(did you know you can even add an extra syllable --- Shakespear did it so it must be OK)
Good luck
Keith
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2010
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Hi
This is a good classic poem and a fine tribute to a loved poet on FS.
Although this does not make it a poor sonnet, I noticed a trochee (Dum-da) and arguably at least one pyrrhic (da-da)
Having said that I am not crazy about totally iambic sonnets
so I reckon this is pretty good technically
(did you know you can even add an extra syllable --- Shakespear did it so it must be OK)
Good luck
Keith
Comment Written 26-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2010
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yes Shakespeare did that quite often. He did not always hold to strick iambs either so I guess sometimes I get a bit rebellious in them, I figure if the great BARD could do it, certainly I can too, LOL Thanks for the great review.
