Ghost Town USA
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "Dream Land"A sandy trip in the desert
15 total reviews
Comment from ulster3
Hi wierd grace.
This is beginning to read like a ghost story to me. Anyway I would be scared to be there. Is it a dream or is it about ghosts I ask myself. Thanks for the read.
Rebecca
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2010
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Hi wierd grace.
This is beginning to read like a ghost story to me. Anyway I would be scared to be there. Is it a dream or is it about ghosts I ask myself. Thanks for the read.
Rebecca
Comment Written 22-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2010
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thank you so much
Comment from lola29
Grace, I very much enjoyed this chapter. Your descriptions were beautiful, and you have an uncanny ability to place your readers in the scene. Wonderful!
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2010
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Grace, I very much enjoyed this chapter. Your descriptions were beautiful, and you have an uncanny ability to place your readers in the scene. Wonderful!
Comment Written 22-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2010
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thank you so much you are the best.
Comment from Sarah_Goldwell
This is a good chapter, you are very good at writing fantasy just be careful of the dreaded word 'was' i know it can't always be avoided but sometimes you can take it out with out too much effort. Also i think your description would be stronger if you avoided the the word 'were' where possible ie
[ It was worse than the main floor, all the doors to the bedroom were off their hinges, or no door at all.]
{Worse than the main floor, all the doors to the bedroom hung off their hinges, or no door at all}
hope this helps :)
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2010
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This is a good chapter, you are very good at writing fantasy just be careful of the dreaded word 'was' i know it can't always be avoided but sometimes you can take it out with out too much effort. Also i think your description would be stronger if you avoided the the word 'were' where possible ie
[ It was worse than the main floor, all the doors to the bedroom were off their hinges, or no door at all.]
{Worse than the main floor, all the doors to the bedroom hung off their hinges, or no door at all}
hope this helps :)
Comment Written 22-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2010
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thank you so much, I will fix these today,
Comment from Kashif Ali Abbas
This chapter speaks about Wilma's interaction, further elevation of characteristics in her character and other elements of the novel attached to it.
Liked it.
K
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reply by the author on 23-Mar-2010
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This chapter speaks about Wilma's interaction, further elevation of characteristics in her character and other elements of the novel attached to it.
Liked it.
K
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 22-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2010
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thank you so much
Comment from winsome
I am sorry I started at chapter four. I will have to take the time to read the other chapters and come up to date. I enjoyed what I read. It held my interest.
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reply by the author on 23-Mar-2010
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I am sorry I started at chapter four. I will have to take the time to read the other chapters and come up to date. I enjoyed what I read. It held my interest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 22-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2010
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thank you so so much
