A Leaf on the Wind
Viewing comments for Chapter 59 "Bad News"Autobiography of abuse
19 total reviews
Comment from Wm B. Naylor
I like the clear matter of fact style. Good luck with your story.
Couple little items for your consideration:
Dr. S. S[s]aid he would call me as soon as he had the results.
Ironically I always found wearing a brazier[sp] extremely uncomfortable and took advantage of the sixties by going braless.
author notes
I had spent my enti[r]e life experiencing the moment and reliving the past so thinking about the future was foreign to me.
Sincerely
Will
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2009
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I like the clear matter of fact style. Good luck with your story.
Couple little items for your consideration:
Dr. S. S[s]aid he would call me as soon as he had the results.
Ironically I always found wearing a brazier[sp] extremely uncomfortable and took advantage of the sixties by going braless.
author notes
I had spent my enti[r]e life experiencing the moment and reliving the past so thinking about the future was foreign to me.
Sincerely
Will
Comment Written 22-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2009
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Thank you for your welcome assistnce and high rating. I sincerely appreciate both.
Comment from Narvik
Interesting depiction of not being concerned about possible cancer. One thing I found a bit hard to fathom was that, even though I'm a man, it would seem a woman would notice earlier if her breasts had gron that much.
Otherwise, this was an interesting chapter that moves the story along well.
~ Rheinlander
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2009
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Interesting depiction of not being concerned about possible cancer. One thing I found a bit hard to fathom was that, even though I'm a man, it would seem a woman would notice earlier if her breasts had gron that much.
Otherwise, this was an interesting chapter that moves the story along well.
~ Rheinlander
Comment Written 22-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2009
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Possssed with absolutely no self esteem and a life time of ridicule it is amazing what you see when you look in the mirror. If you are told you are anattractive often enough, you begin to not only believe it you start to see what others insist they see. After everything I had been through, cancer just wasn't the worst thing to happen to me. Difficult to comprehend, I know, but that was my frame of mind at the time. Thak you for your kind words and high rating. I appreciate both.
Comment from Seraphim Delphinium
Amazing story, dear Smurphy. Always a captivating read. If I had only one suggestion it would be to incorporate the author's notes at the end, into the body of the work, as the author's notes are quite powerful. Having said that, double check the author's notes for typos in the following two words:
"seriousnes" "entie"
should be:
"seriousness" and "entire."
Again, wonderful work!
Seraph
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2009
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Amazing story, dear Smurphy. Always a captivating read. If I had only one suggestion it would be to incorporate the author's notes at the end, into the body of the work, as the author's notes are quite powerful. Having said that, double check the author's notes for typos in the following two words:
"seriousnes" "entie"
should be:
"seriousness" and "entire."
Again, wonderful work!
Seraph
Comment Written 22-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2009
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As always, your comments and suggestions are most welcome. If I could spell I would be a scary person! Aain, thanks for the high rating and review.
Comment from Squeezie
Hi Smurphgirl, I've not read your work before but I like it a lot. It flows well and the grammar is good. None of the common tense faults or malapropisms. I want to read the rest - sadly, lack of time prevents this at the moment but I hope I can manage it soon.
Just a couple of things: 'I had finally discovered how to get a reaction from her.' I think this should either not have quotation marks or the 'had' should be 'have'.
I'm from the UK so we may have different rules but I was taught that 'However' is a conjunction like 'but' and 'so'. The sentence that begins 'sign. However, because the tumor was so...'should probably have a comma instead of a full stop.
I am guessing that you are probably used to getting 6 stars. I am adhering to the rules and giving you 5 because the definition of 6 stars is that the work needs no changes. 5 means needs no revision and I think that is fair as the changes are really a small matter. Sorry about this. I have had 6 star reviews that then suggest changes but I think that keeping to the intended scale is important.
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2009
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Hi Smurphgirl, I've not read your work before but I like it a lot. It flows well and the grammar is good. None of the common tense faults or malapropisms. I want to read the rest - sadly, lack of time prevents this at the moment but I hope I can manage it soon.
Just a couple of things: 'I had finally discovered how to get a reaction from her.' I think this should either not have quotation marks or the 'had' should be 'have'.
I'm from the UK so we may have different rules but I was taught that 'However' is a conjunction like 'but' and 'so'. The sentence that begins 'sign. However, because the tumor was so...'should probably have a comma instead of a full stop.
I am guessing that you are probably used to getting 6 stars. I am adhering to the rules and giving you 5 because the definition of 6 stars is that the work needs no changes. 5 means needs no revision and I think that is fair as the changes are really a small matter. Sorry about this. I have had 6 star reviews that then suggest changes but I think that keeping to the intended scale is important.
Comment Written 22-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2009
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I appreciate your helpful suggestions and will go over the chapter again. Never apologize for your review, 5 stars is an excellent rating and I appreciate it very much. Punctuation here is similar to the UK so your suggestions are welcome. Again, thank you for your help and high rating.
Comment from Gip7
You described exactly each step of the way to your cancer journey in such a well-written way. Wow, it is just amazing how much our lives have been similar with health and abuse issues, although mine more advanced than yours. And yes, there is another person who laughed on their way to surgery. Living in the moment as we do which you mention in your notes -- others don't understand. I will certainly look forward to reading back chapters, although I've read a few. Thanks for your honesty and doing it so well as to help others who feel alone with both issues.
Just one note: I think you should take the 's' off 'shows'
in the para: 'I am sorry . . .' Take care.
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2009
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You described exactly each step of the way to your cancer journey in such a well-written way. Wow, it is just amazing how much our lives have been similar with health and abuse issues, although mine more advanced than yours. And yes, there is another person who laughed on their way to surgery. Living in the moment as we do which you mention in your notes -- others don't understand. I will certainly look forward to reading back chapters, although I've read a few. Thanks for your honesty and doing it so well as to help others who feel alone with both issues.
Just one note: I think you should take the 's' off 'shows'
in the para: 'I am sorry . . .' Take care.
Comment Written 22-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2009
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Thank you so much for your high rating and review. I sincerely appeciate all the help I can get. Again, thank you.
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You are very welcome, Smurphgirl -- my pleasure. Gip
Comment from TimidView
After everything that came before, now breast cancer? Wow! This was incredibly well written. I liked how you explored the calmness after the announcement. Everyone reacts to things in their own way. I thought you wrote that part very well.
This was very amusing:
"She kissed me on the cheek and laughed, "Why? We never really bonded." Sarah never let me forget I did not breast feed her."
Good job!
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2009
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After everything that came before, now breast cancer? Wow! This was incredibly well written. I liked how you explored the calmness after the announcement. Everyone reacts to things in their own way. I thought you wrote that part very well.
This was very amusing:
"She kissed me on the cheek and laughed, "Why? We never really bonded." Sarah never let me forget I did not breast feed her."
Good job!
Comment Written 22-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2009
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Thank you for your kind review and high rating. I sincerely appreciate them.
Comment from marion
Hi Smurphgirl
I wonder what happened that Teresa changed so abruptly? I have to wait now, don't I!!! I can easily imagine your non reaction being possible when finding out about having breast cancer. When one has gone through what you already had, this would be just another hicup, not a major crisis in your life. I don't wear a bra when doing hard physical work on the farm, it is too restrictive for me, but when I go out, I always wear one. Even for doing the housework!! I also noticed my breasts came later in life as well ... just like yours, except I am still only a 12B, I think that is your size 34 in the USA. You sure have been through the run-of-the-mill, and I so admire you for coming out on top in the end ... when the end comes! Look forward to the next post. Marion.
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2009
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Hi Smurphgirl
I wonder what happened that Teresa changed so abruptly? I have to wait now, don't I!!! I can easily imagine your non reaction being possible when finding out about having breast cancer. When one has gone through what you already had, this would be just another hicup, not a major crisis in your life. I don't wear a bra when doing hard physical work on the farm, it is too restrictive for me, but when I go out, I always wear one. Even for doing the housework!! I also noticed my breasts came later in life as well ... just like yours, except I am still only a 12B, I think that is your size 34 in the USA. You sure have been through the run-of-the-mill, and I so admire you for coming out on top in the end ... when the end comes! Look forward to the next post. Marion.
Comment Written 22-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2009
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Thank you for your kind review. Yes, breast cancer was not fun but facing it wasn't the hardest thing I had done. Again, thank you for your high review.
Comment from raimie
Well it probably helped your state of calmness. Emotions added on top of an already stressful diagnosis can be fatal. For when we are weak in spoirit, we become weak and mind and body.
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reply by the author on 22-Mar-2009
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Well it probably helped your state of calmness. Emotions added on top of an already stressful diagnosis can be fatal. For when we are weak in spoirit, we become weak and mind and body.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 22-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2009
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Yes, actually it did. I thank you for your kind words and appreciate your high review.
Comment from adewpearl
That's pretty sad that Valerie's sisters showed her so little attention, especially after she worked so hard to protect them from their father - and interesting that the mother finally shows concern when her daughter is in danger from cancer - as if cancer is different than incest. Another excellent chapter - I like the exchange with the daughter on the way to the operating room. Brooke
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reply by the author on 22-Mar-2009
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That's pretty sad that Valerie's sisters showed her so little attention, especially after she worked so hard to protect them from their father - and interesting that the mother finally shows concern when her daughter is in danger from cancer - as if cancer is different than incest. Another excellent chapter - I like the exchange with the daughter on the way to the operating room. Brooke
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 22-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2009
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Thahk you. Your comments are always welcome.
