Comment from marion

Excellent

Hi Smurphgirl

Wow, this is so compelling to read. So tragic.

I was gripped by the doctors comment -- Dr. L. leaned forward and took my hand. "Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem," he said dramatically.

I find that comment truly inspirational, showing things can be fixed.

I think having this new doctor may be the road to a faster and better recovery. As you said yourself ... "Then we better figure out how to kill the devil pretty dam quick."

I am really enjoying this account and although it is something one never really wants to read or one never wants to encounter, it is life's reality.

Some of the things you say, remind me that I touch on some of this darkness sometimes, I question love, I don't see it sometimes or feel it ... BUT it is only ever to a mild degree and never stays.

I think every one feels what you talk about, but in all different degrees and there lies the problem ... What degree and at what line do you stop coping.

I look forward to the next entry ... in fact, I should fan you because it is a story I would like to follow. I don't fan many writers because I cannot always keep up with my reviews, but if you don't mind that, then I would be more than deighted to become a fan. Lately, though, I have had a lot more time to be on FS, and that is always good!

Technical - there are a few small areas where spacing between words is missing and a couple of other little things ... if you go through looking for edits one more time, you'll pick them up. They are very minor!!

Marion.

 Comment Written 18-Mar-2009

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reply by the author on 18-Mar-2009

Thank you for your incredibly kind review. I know my book is difficult for some to read but I felt it was an important story to tell...without giving away any secrets, it actually has a happy ending!

Comment from DecrepitOldBag

Excellent

Valerie, this is another outstanding chapter in your story. You have written this, including a very great deal of dialogue, extremely well. I'm so glad Dr. L 'clicked' with you straight away.
There are a couple of editing glitches. In the title you've got 'dancind with the devil'.
".......I don't giv a shit how they deal....."
"......She said if we hadn'twere not related......."
Hope those help.
Great writing (as usual)
Warmest wishes
Kat

 Comment Written 18-Mar-2009

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reply by the author on 18-Mar-2009

Thank you for your very kind review and again, for catching that which I contiue to miss. I sincerely appreciate your opinion and you help.

Comment from allborn66

Excellent

Now, it is a very engaging chapter. There are a few SPAGS -there's a giv where a give should be. The sentence about the sister not being a friend has a wrong word, and some of the line spacing off. The spacing could be EE, I know there are a few places that no matter how many times I add a space it never shows up. I like the voice, and it has very believable dialogue.
Barbara

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 Comment Written 18-Mar-2009

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reply by the author on 18-Mar-2009

Thank you for your very kind review. Yes, Evil Eddie and I are not getting along! I'll go back and see what I can do. Again, thank yo for your help.

Comment from Vincent B.

Excellent

This was a very well written piece of writing, Smurphgirl! The dialogue was very believable, and interesting. I like your premise and how you have handled it. It seems as if you put a lot of effort into it, and let me say it pays off! Nicely done!

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 Comment Written 18-Mar-2009

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reply by the author on 18-Mar-2009

Thank you for your very kind review. I sincerely appreciate your comments.