A Leaf on the Wind
Viewing comments for Chapter 50 "7 East"Autobiography of abuse
16 total reviews
Comment from pilarblue
This is another very well written, attention holding chapter. I only found one very minor detail: '"My name is Marilyn, I'm you() day nurse.' I enjoyed reading very much. :)
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2009
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This is another very well written, attention holding chapter. I only found one very minor detail: '"My name is Marilyn, I'm you() day nurse.' I enjoyed reading very much. :)
Comment Written 15-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2009
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Thank you for your kind review. I will correct the error you so kindly pointed out. Again, thank you.
Comment from FredCollingwood
Smurphy, this is excellent. Poor Valerie is a mess. While I was reading this, my heart went out to her--that's good writing.
Fred
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2009
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Smurphy, this is excellent. Poor Valerie is a mess. While I was reading this, my heart went out to her--that's good writing.
Fred
Comment Written 15-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2009
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Yup, I was definiitely a mess....thanks for the kind review and words of encouragement.
Comment from Adri204
This is a great story. It flows extremely well. What I like about is it does have natural rhythm and pacing. That makes it an enjoyable read. I really love it and can not wait to read more.
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2009
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This is a great story. It flows extremely well. What I like about is it does have natural rhythm and pacing. That makes it an enjoyable read. I really love it and can not wait to read more.
Comment Written 15-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2009
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Thank you for your kind and encouraging review. I value everyone's comments. Again, thank you.
Comment from adewpearl
Wow, that is one heck of a lot of diagnoses!!
I wouldn't put too much stalk into what mom says should be stock
I like the interview with Marilyn, the nurse - Valerie so rarely opens up and she just tells her everything because she instinctively knows she can trust her.
Again, Mom walks out on her - there is no end to how mad I can get at this woman. Brooke
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2009
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Wow, that is one heck of a lot of diagnoses!!
I wouldn't put too much stalk into what mom says should be stock
I like the interview with Marilyn, the nurse - Valerie so rarely opens up and she just tells her everything because she instinctively knows she can trust her.
Again, Mom walks out on her - there is no end to how mad I can get at this woman. Brooke
Comment Written 15-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2009
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I know what you mean...she pissed me off too. Thanks for the high rating and your continued interest.
Comment from TimidView
The chapter is good. There are a few SPAG issues:
"Temporal Lobe Epilepsy and Hypnagogic Hallucinations, a sleep disorder associated with Temporal Lobe Epilepsy, Sleep Apnea," In this section, if you capitalized the conditions for emphasis, that's one thing, but none of them should be capitalized. (They are all terrible disorders, I'm not trying to diminish the pain they caused, just as a style guide example, they aren't capitalized.)
Please review the punctuation here: A few minutes later, a third a woman about my age, entered the room, walked over to my table ,and sat down.
Oops! Missed an 'r' on 'your'. "...Marilyn, I'm you day nurse.?
Otherwise, well done. And by the way -- what a rotten thing for your mom to leave while you were still strapped to a gurney!
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reply by the author on 15-Mar-2009
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The chapter is good. There are a few SPAG issues:
"Temporal Lobe Epilepsy and Hypnagogic Hallucinations, a sleep disorder associated with Temporal Lobe Epilepsy, Sleep Apnea," In this section, if you capitalized the conditions for emphasis, that's one thing, but none of them should be capitalized. (They are all terrible disorders, I'm not trying to diminish the pain they caused, just as a style guide example, they aren't capitalized.)
Please review the punctuation here: A few minutes later, a third a woman about my age, entered the room, walked over to my table ,and sat down.
Oops! Missed an 'r' on 'your'. "...Marilyn, I'm you day nurse.?
Otherwise, well done. And by the way -- what a rotten thing for your mom to leave while you were still strapped to a gurney!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 15-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2009
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Thanks. I appreciate the help with the spags. I'll go back over and see what I can do to fix them.
Comment from Alcuin
An excellent chapter. You've written it well and presented Valerie as a sympathetic character. A fine finish to your book. Well done.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2009
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An excellent chapter. You've written it well and presented Valerie as a sympathetic character. A fine finish to your book. Well done.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 15-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2009
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Sorry to dissappoint you, but it is far from over. Valerie's downwawrd spiral has just begun. Thanks for the high rating. I sincerely appreciate it.
