Comment from medicnate

Excellent

Another great chapter. Did they ever figure out what started the fire?

This one was fantastic. Love the imagery and dialogue. Well done.

~medicnate~

 Comment Written 12-Apr-2009

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reply by the author on 12-Apr-2009

Thank you. Yes it was electrical.

Comment from laurelp

Excellent

So, who started the fire. Intersting question. This chapter has brought out more questions then I started with. Nicely written and no errors.

 Comment Written 15-Mar-2009

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reply by the author on 15-Mar-2009

Good question. I honestly believe it was an electrical fire from old wiring...but with the gaps there will always be the question...Thanks for the high rating and ineresting comments.

Comment from oledihard

Excellent

You are really good at dialogue. I felt as if these two really had a conversation. It was easy and not forced. I found something you might want to look at though.
1. "Face it my family (is-are) a bunch of idiots."

 Comment Written 14-Mar-2009

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reply by the author on 14-Mar-2009

Thank you so much for your kind review. Yes, I actually had to look up whether it was...my famil is, or my family are...and believe it or not it is "is" because the word family may refer to more than one person it is cosidered a single group...crazy and confusing, I know. If I were to say the people in my family...it would be are, but standing alone it is, is. I may go back and change that sentense. Again, thanka you for your high rating and kind review.

Comment from adewpearl

Excellent

Valerie's life seems to be one constant crisis after another, and through it all she fights to protect children, be it her younger siblings or now her own children - in a world where she was never protected, it is her mission never to let down the children in her care, even when she is so vulnerable. She may be messing up with the drinking, but she is still a character to be admired. Brooke

 Comment Written 13-Mar-2009

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reply by the author on 13-Mar-2009

Well, I did the best I could but have many regrets. I know we are only human but hindsight is a cruel reminder of what we should have done and never lets us forget what we did. Thank you for the kind words and high rating.

Comment from Seraphim Delphinium

Excellent

Family dynamics are an amazing thing. I like Richard's role in this chapter and your concluding remarks about him. Another wonderful chapter, Smurphy! Excellent! Seraph

 Comment Written 13-Mar-2009

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reply by the author on 13-Mar-2009

Thank you. I often told people that Richard was the perfect ex-husband.

Comment from BethShelby

Excellent

I think I read the last chapter of the story before I read this one. It is good to be filled in on the episode concerning the fire. Your writing seems well edited and I have no suggestion. I will be looking forward to more.

 Comment Written 13-Mar-2009

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reply by the author on 13-Mar-2009

Thank you for your kind words and high rating. I am pleased you want to read more. Again, thank you.

Comment from chaswriter

Excellent

Smurphgirl - Another strong chapter with interesting characters, situations and dialogue.

Here are some suggestions:

"If it will make you feel better(,) I will call Denise and tell her that

I feigned a smile, and said, "Okay". - This should be a separate paragraph.

"I spoke to the insurance company(,) and they will be issuing you an emergency check in a few days.

After eating, Richard took me to a nicer motel( )closer to his house so the girls could visit me more easily. He paid for a week in advance(,) and(,) before leaving, he gave me a hundred dollars for food. Sometimes Richard could be a pain in the ass, but(,) deep down, he really was a nice guy.

Charlie

 Comment Written 13-Mar-2009

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reply by the author on 13-Mar-2009

I sincerely appreciate your high rating and very helpful comments.

Comment from FredCollingwood

Excellent

Who wouldn't have problems after going through what she went through. Excellent--gut wrenching. I don't know how anyone her situation could regain trust, but I know it can be done. Great job.

 Comment Written 13-Mar-2009

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reply by the author on 13-Mar-2009

Thanks. I sincerely appreciate your review and encouraging words. Sort of like your book, it gets worse before it gets better.

Comment from MariaMarsden

Excellent

Really admire your dedication in getting this autobiography finished - it can't have been easy to write. I figured if you had the courage to write it the least I can do is have the courage to read it. Whilst your story is painful, you do not overwhelm the reader. a good work

 Comment Written 13-Mar-2009

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reply by the author on 13-Mar-2009

Thank you. Writing it was difficult but I felt it was also important. I appreciate your kind words and without giving away any secrets, it does have a happy ending.

Comment from rhymer1

Excellent

Your narrative and dialog are spot on except for the few nits I cited while reading. Slainte, rhymer1

the fire was (finally) out. - The appearance of this useles word in such clean prose stood out lick a zit on fair skin: delete it.

But I (immediately) dismissed - same comment

that would (ever) put the girls

Although the fire (had been) confined to the attic, the damage from (the) water (had completely) destroyed everything - punches up your pace.

 Comment Written 13-Mar-2009

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reply by the author on 13-Mar-2009

Thank you for your kind review and helpful suggestions. I sinerely appreciate them.