A Leaf on the Wind
Viewing comments for Chapter 41 "Walking on Eggshells"Autobiography of abuse
12 total reviews
Comment from artisart4u
I like you story, I wanted to read something other than regular so I picked
this one in its category. It is a good story of a husband and wife
facing some bad times in their life and it took her to realize what was wrong
in the marriage and to let go of some of the baggage. This might not be correct your purpose to convey but I glad I read it, it is everyday life.
Congratulation on earning a Seal of Quality.
Good luck with your story
reply by the author on 30-May-2016
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I like you story, I wanted to read something other than regular so I picked
this one in its category. It is a good story of a husband and wife
facing some bad times in their life and it took her to realize what was wrong
in the marriage and to let go of some of the baggage. This might not be correct your purpose to convey but I glad I read it, it is everyday life.
Congratulation on earning a Seal of Quality.
Good luck with your story
Comment Written 30-May-2016
reply by the author on 30-May-2016
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Thanks, I am so pleased you liked this chapter. It wasn't easy for me to see my own faults, let alone write about them. Thanks for the positive comments.
Comment from medicnate
You sure have come a long way from someone who couldn't spell or write very well. I applaud you for that. This chapter is great it helps the reader understand just how things affected you . Great job.
~medicnate~
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2009
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You sure have come a long way from someone who couldn't spell or write very well. I applaud you for that. This chapter is great it helps the reader understand just how things affected you . Great job.
~medicnate~
Comment Written 10-Apr-2009
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2009
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Yes, it's amazing what I do do when I avoid stress. Sometime I reread this chapter and wonder why Richard didn't throw his hands in the air and just walk away.
Comment from Seraphim Delphinium
The ending of this story certainly packs a punch. The conversation and dialogue are effectively authentic and captivating. How many people experience this very same self-doubt? Wonderful writing, Smurphy! Seraph~
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2009
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The ending of this story certainly packs a punch. The conversation and dialogue are effectively authentic and captivating. How many people experience this very same self-doubt? Wonderful writing, Smurphy! Seraph~
Comment Written 11-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2009
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Thank you for your kind and encouraging review. As always, it is greatly appreciated.
Comment from kjlteacherwriter
I love your choice of words and phrasing. They bring out the raw emotion of the chapter. The title immediately caught my eye as I can personally relate. Only in my household it was my husband who we, the children and I, had to watch, and "walk on eggshells" around! I think you capture your story well, giving to it the emotions needed, all while keeping "control" of how it progresses. I'm not sure I would be able to do that. Bravo!
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2009
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I love your choice of words and phrasing. They bring out the raw emotion of the chapter. The title immediately caught my eye as I can personally relate. Only in my household it was my husband who we, the children and I, had to watch, and "walk on eggshells" around! I think you capture your story well, giving to it the emotions needed, all while keeping "control" of how it progresses. I'm not sure I would be able to do that. Bravo!
Comment Written 09-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2009
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Thank you for you kind review. I appreciate your comments...sadly I was the one making a nervous wreck out of everyone.
Comment from skye
Strong chapter, giving good background for new readers, letting us into her mind and his.
The characters are strong, consistent, and interesting.
A couple of problems with the correct words --
loose -- lose
effect -- affect
Very well done.
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2009
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Strong chapter, giving good background for new readers, letting us into her mind and his.
The characters are strong, consistent, and interesting.
A couple of problems with the correct words --
loose -- lose
effect -- affect
Very well done.
Comment Written 09-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2009
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Thanks for the high review. I'll fix lose and affect....spell check doesn't catch those....sorry.
Comment from DecrepitOldBag
This is another extremely well written chapter. You have conveyed, very successfully, how this withdrawn, silent man suddenly appeared so differently to you. I can't comment on the content because it has such a ring of truth about it, I wouldn't presume to do so. Great writing.
All the best,
Kat
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2009
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This is another extremely well written chapter. You have conveyed, very successfully, how this withdrawn, silent man suddenly appeared so differently to you. I can't comment on the content because it has such a ring of truth about it, I wouldn't presume to do so. Great writing.
All the best,
Kat
Comment Written 09-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2009
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Thank you, once again, for your kind review.
Comment from chaswriter
Smurphgirl - I am still enjoying your novel. Great narrative and interactions between characters.
Here are some suggestions:
You refuse to get a job(,) but you complain we don't have enough money to fix the house. When I work extra hours to make a little more money(,) you get upset when I come home too tired to work on the bedroom roof."
I took several deep breaths in the hope of calming myself down(,) but my anger had reached the point of no return.
He has seen me angry(,) but this was the first time he saw me physically loose control.
Just to get eight hours of work done(,) I had to put in an extra two or three hours to allow time to correct my mistakes.
I couldn't spell(,) and half the time I didn't understand what I was supposed to do.
One minute you are happy and laughing(,) and the next you are sitting at the kitchen table crying.
No(,) it is not!
It was true I was protective of Sarah and Tina(;) sometimes, overly protective.
Sure, I sometimes got depressed(,) and sometimes I got so involved with what I was doing I would stay up all night just to finish, but that didn't make me a tyrant.
Yes, I did have a tendency to lecture the girls(,) but it was only because I wanted them to understand why I was upset.
Yes, I obsessed about my family(,) but most of the time I kept my thoughts to myself.
Hope that helps. Charlie
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2009
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Smurphgirl - I am still enjoying your novel. Great narrative and interactions between characters.
Here are some suggestions:
You refuse to get a job(,) but you complain we don't have enough money to fix the house. When I work extra hours to make a little more money(,) you get upset when I come home too tired to work on the bedroom roof."
I took several deep breaths in the hope of calming myself down(,) but my anger had reached the point of no return.
He has seen me angry(,) but this was the first time he saw me physically loose control.
Just to get eight hours of work done(,) I had to put in an extra two or three hours to allow time to correct my mistakes.
I couldn't spell(,) and half the time I didn't understand what I was supposed to do.
One minute you are happy and laughing(,) and the next you are sitting at the kitchen table crying.
No(,) it is not!
It was true I was protective of Sarah and Tina(;) sometimes, overly protective.
Sure, I sometimes got depressed(,) and sometimes I got so involved with what I was doing I would stay up all night just to finish, but that didn't make me a tyrant.
Yes, I did have a tendency to lecture the girls(,) but it was only because I wanted them to understand why I was upset.
Yes, I obsessed about my family(,) but most of the time I kept my thoughts to myself.
Hope that helps. Charlie
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 09-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2009
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Thank you so much for your help...I can use all I can get. Also thank you for your kind review.
Comment from laurelp
I am going to comment on the Author Notes. I totally agree. The story is about you. Leaving your children out for the most part is a wise decision. It is your story and you have to deal with it. Your children have their own lives to deal with and had to grow up with your emotional turmoil as well. By leaving them out of the story as much as possible you are not only being respectful to them but fair as well. I am glad you took that attitude, it was the correct one.
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2009
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I am going to comment on the Author Notes. I totally agree. The story is about you. Leaving your children out for the most part is a wise decision. It is your story and you have to deal with it. Your children have their own lives to deal with and had to grow up with your emotional turmoil as well. By leaving them out of the story as much as possible you are not only being respectful to them but fair as well. I am glad you took that attitude, it was the correct one.
Comment Written 09-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2009
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Thank you. This was not a difficult decision for me to make. My children lived through the chaos of my life and do not need to relive it. Unfotunately there are a few incidents that I did need to address in future chapters. Also, I have changed everyone's name except mine and a few people who are now dead.
Comment from Lois Delaney
Well done. I found no nits to speak of, and I can fully understand why you would be so high-strung. Your past was enough to drive any normal person insane.
Keep writing. Love to read your near perfection work.
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2009
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Well done. I found no nits to speak of, and I can fully understand why you would be so high-strung. Your past was enough to drive any normal person insane.
Keep writing. Love to read your near perfection work.
Comment Written 09-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2009
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Thanks. Highstrung is actually an understatement but sounds so much nicer than raving lunitic. Again, thanks.
Comment from jodeecee
I ask myself, /"/Will the caring
Richard had never seen this side of me. (This statement maybe needs revision, as later in the chapter you tell of outbursts and slamming doors etc.)
My behavior embarrassed the girls and created such an antagonistic atmosphere/,/ the children in the neighborhood avoided me.
"We don't get along/,/"
Great chapter. also, I reviewed the previous ones, but don't know if you were able to tell, it said I needed to spend more time on them.
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2009
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I ask myself, /"/Will the caring
Richard had never seen this side of me. (This statement maybe needs revision, as later in the chapter you tell of outbursts and slamming doors etc.)
My behavior embarrassed the girls and created such an antagonistic atmosphere/,/ the children in the neighborhood avoided me.
"We don't get along/,/"
Great chapter. also, I reviewed the previous ones, but don't know if you were able to tell, it said I needed to spend more time on them.
Comment Written 09-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2009
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Yes, I probablay should clarify. I occasionally slammed a door or stomped out of the room but but I never threw anything, punhed holes in the wall or cursed him.
