A Leaf on the Wind
Viewing comments for Chapter 35 "Mending a Broken Heart"Autobiography of abuse
15 total reviews
Comment from adewpearl
Your story of how you turned away from Hugo because of guilt about your father's attacks on you and how you then became a regular at a bar where men picked you up for one night stands proves once again how the effects of molestation last years and years and negatively impact so many facets of a victim's life. The ending certainly has me intrigued. :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2009
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Your story of how you turned away from Hugo because of guilt about your father's attacks on you and how you then became a regular at a bar where men picked you up for one night stands proves once again how the effects of molestation last years and years and negatively impact so many facets of a victim's life. The ending certainly has me intrigued. :-) Brooke
Comment Written 03-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2009
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Thank you for your kind review. Showing the lasting damage of abuse is my primary purpose for writing the book.
Comment from Writeaway...
This is a very effective piece of writing, it made a tingling sense running down my spine as I was reading it, my brain was urging me on to read more. Escelent job, 10/10
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2009
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This is a very effective piece of writing, it made a tingling sense running down my spine as I was reading it, my brain was urging me on to read more. Escelent job, 10/10
Comment Written 03-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2009
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Thank you so much for your enthusiastic review. I am pleased you like my book.
Comment from chaswriter
Smurphgirl - I skipped several chapters so need to go back. Looks like Valerie may be about to get out of her downtown spiral. I am enjoying the storyline. Charlie
"Hi my name is Jackie, and this is my friend(,) Valerie."
Without waking him, I got (dressed), sneaked out of the apartment, found a pay phone, and called Jackie to come pick me up.
I went to work as a clerk at the Boeing Aircraft Company,( and) I continued to drink.
Reluctantly, he let go of my hand, turned, and walked away. - Was he reluctant or you?
Hope that helps. Charlie
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2009
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Smurphgirl - I skipped several chapters so need to go back. Looks like Valerie may be about to get out of her downtown spiral. I am enjoying the storyline. Charlie
"Hi my name is Jackie, and this is my friend(,) Valerie."
Without waking him, I got (dressed), sneaked out of the apartment, found a pay phone, and called Jackie to come pick me up.
I went to work as a clerk at the Boeing Aircraft Company,( and) I continued to drink.
Reluctantly, he let go of my hand, turned, and walked away. - Was he reluctant or you?
Hope that helps. Charlie
Comment Written 03-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2009
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Thanks for the helpful suggestion...I was reluctant to let go..I'll go back and fix them. Again, thanks for the review.
Comment from BethShelby
If this is biographical, it must take great courage to tell your story but I sure it is good that you are telling it and telling it well, I might add. Sexual abuse is such a terrible thing for a child to deal with. It leaves scars that take years to heal. There are few things that need to be fixed.
"What are two gorgeous girls like you, sitting in a corner all alone" (Should this be "why are two...)
"I got dress," (dressed)
eyes, I hear a soft knock (heard would be better here)
"Jackie told me to stop come by today" (either stop by or come by)
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reply by the author on 03-Mar-2009
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If this is biographical, it must take great courage to tell your story but I sure it is good that you are telling it and telling it well, I might add. Sexual abuse is such a terrible thing for a child to deal with. It leaves scars that take years to heal. There are few things that need to be fixed.
"What are two gorgeous girls like you, sitting in a corner all alone" (Should this be "why are two...)
"I got dress," (dressed)
eyes, I hear a soft knock (heard would be better here)
"Jackie told me to stop come by today" (either stop by or come by)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 03-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2009
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Thank you for your helpful suggestions. I will go over the chapter and fix them. Again, thank you for the high rating.
Comment from jodeecee
The day /D/daddy returned
When I drank, I didn't think about Hugo, /cut:and after a few drinks,/ //and/ the shame disappeared along with my inhibitions.
"Jackie told me to stop /come/ by today and pick up the spare key to the apartment."
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2009
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The day /D/daddy returned
When I drank, I didn't think about Hugo, /cut:and after a few drinks,/ //and/ the shame disappeared along with my inhibitions.
"Jackie told me to stop /come/ by today and pick up the spare key to the apartment."
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 03-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2009
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Whoa, you are fast! Alredy corrected the two suggestions. Thanks for the help and high rating.
