A Leaf on the Wind
Viewing comments for Chapter 19 "More of the same"Autobiography of abuse
11 total reviews
Comment from medicnate
It is crazy how oblivious a wife can be to the goings on in her own home. That, or she was just in denial and couldn't handle the truth. I think the later of the two in this case. I shall read on. Very good writing. Riveting, every word.
~medicnate~
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2009
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It is crazy how oblivious a wife can be to the goings on in her own home. That, or she was just in denial and couldn't handle the truth. I think the later of the two in this case. I shall read on. Very good writing. Riveting, every word.
~medicnate~
Comment Written 05-Apr-2009
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2009
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I often look back and have to chuckle at the situation...the denial became as damaging as the abuse. I sometimes have to flip a coin to decide which did me more harm.
Comment from Lois Delaney
Too bad this had to turn around again. Like you said, how could you be everywhere at all times to protect your little sisters.
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2009
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Too bad this had to turn around again. Like you said, how could you be everywhere at all times to protect your little sisters.
Comment Written 07-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2009
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Thanks for understanding. It was a lot to take on for a young girl.
Comment from Seraphim Delphinium
*shakes head in disbelief* Smurphy, this is astoundingly palpable writing that leaps off of the page in its authenticity. The sound of the emotions, the conflicts, the "push-me/pull-you" of conscience and consciousness is deafening... truly deafening in it enormity. Excellent and superb writing. Seraph~
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2009
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*shakes head in disbelief* Smurphy, this is astoundingly palpable writing that leaps off of the page in its authenticity. The sound of the emotions, the conflicts, the "push-me/pull-you" of conscience and consciousness is deafening... truly deafening in it enormity. Excellent and superb writing. Seraph~
Comment Written 16-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2009
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Thank you. I am pleased you like my writing and am please by yuor flattering description of my writing jumps off the page. Wait will I experience a brief moment of humility....
Comment from DecrepitOldBag
I was afraid of something like this happening. How isolated and alone (and angry) you must have felt. It's no fun being branded as a liar and troublemaker. I should know, I had those labels most of my life - until I was finally heard and believed.
As for work needed. The main one I can see easily is in your conversation with Teresa:
""Talking to Mom won't help," I said. "She does not believe me. You made sure of that." " Because you have said all of that you do not need to start a new line, otherwise it confuses things and one cannot easily tell who is talking there.
That's about it on editing, so the chapter is not as 'shaky' as you think. You could add in more descriptions, but if you did, you would have to go back and also add descriptions to the rest. Best leave as it is.
Blessings
Kat
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2009
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I was afraid of something like this happening. How isolated and alone (and angry) you must have felt. It's no fun being branded as a liar and troublemaker. I should know, I had those labels most of my life - until I was finally heard and believed.
As for work needed. The main one I can see easily is in your conversation with Teresa:
""Talking to Mom won't help," I said. "She does not believe me. You made sure of that." " Because you have said all of that you do not need to start a new line, otherwise it confuses things and one cannot easily tell who is talking there.
That's about it on editing, so the chapter is not as 'shaky' as you think. You could add in more descriptions, but if you did, you would have to go back and also add descriptions to the rest. Best leave as it is.
Blessings
Kat
Comment Written 14-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2009
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Thank you. I appreciate your coments and will look over the sentense you mention. Thank you for your kind words.
Comment from jodeecee
My biggest concern was/,/ that despite all my vigilance in protecting the girls, /I knew/ it would not be enough. I tried to talk to Teresa/,/ but she insisted Daddy was not capable of doing anything so horrible. She even criticized me for suggesting he could stoop so low.
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2009
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My biggest concern was/,/ that despite all my vigilance in protecting the girls, /I knew/ it would not be enough. I tried to talk to Teresa/,/ but she insisted Daddy was not capable of doing anything so horrible. She even criticized me for suggesting he could stoop so low.
Comment Written 14-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2009
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Thak you for your high ranking. I appreciate your diligence and will address the issues you so kindly point out. Again, thank you.
Comment from laurelp
The sad thing is that this is happening in houses all over the world right now as I write this. I am curious how you ever managed to finally get the info out. I will wait, reading each chapter with as much patience as possible.
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2009
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The sad thing is that this is happening in houses all over the world right now as I write this. I am curious how you ever managed to finally get the info out. I will wait, reading each chapter with as much patience as possible.
Comment Written 13-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2009
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Thank you for your kind words and hope you enjoy (if that is the appropriate word) reading more.
Comment from The Rivaling Mimic
This was a rather entertaining read and one that managed to capture my interest. You have kept well with the theme which followed through wonderfully. I have noticed no room for improvement.
The Rivaling Mimic
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2009
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This was a rather entertaining read and one that managed to capture my interest. You have kept well with the theme which followed through wonderfully. I have noticed no room for improvement.
The Rivaling Mimic
Comment Written 13-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2009
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Thank you. This was an awkward but necessary chapter. I'm glad you liked it.
Comment from Stacey Lynne Wells
Well, if video cameras existed back then, I would have saved up and bought one. I would have hid it in the baby's room and then showed your mother what happened. But this happened in the forty's so I don't honestly know what I would have done. Maybe invite Bonnie over and have her hide behind me? I don't know. That's tough. Well, good luck.
Rachel
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2009
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Well, if video cameras existed back then, I would have saved up and bought one. I would have hid it in the baby's room and then showed your mother what happened. But this happened in the forty's so I don't honestly know what I would have done. Maybe invite Bonnie over and have her hide behind me? I don't know. That's tough. Well, good luck.
Rachel
Comment Written 13-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2009
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You are right...the foties and fifties were a completely different world. Thanks for the comments and high review.
Comment from tom jordan
First,well written. I really got the picture. I thought my mom not letting me eat four pieces,only three, of fried chicken at dinner was having a rough childhood.
You have an appropriate spelling error. It's the last word of the paragraht that starts "Terisa was as".
Very good but a rough subject.
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2009
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First,well written. I really got the picture. I thought my mom not letting me eat four pieces,only three, of fried chicken at dinner was having a rough childhood.
You have an appropriate spelling error. It's the last word of the paragraht that starts "Terisa was as".
Very good but a rough subject.
Comment Written 13-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2009
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Thank you very much for your kind review. I will check that sentense.
Comment from Lokman
Hello,
I'm not familiar with the story so can just pretty much comment on the writing, which is good and clean, with strong language use. I guess the only other thing I can say is that I didn't feel the real impact of the horror these girls must be going through--it felt is if it's been washed clean to make the subject more palatable.
Lokman
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reply by the author on 13-Feb-2009
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Hello,
I'm not familiar with the story so can just pretty much comment on the writing, which is good and clean, with strong language use. I guess the only other thing I can say is that I didn't feel the real impact of the horror these girls must be going through--it felt is if it's been washed clean to make the subject more palatable.
Lokman
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 13-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2009
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Thank you for your comments. In previous chapters I go into great detail on the fear, anger, frustration and anxiety the main character experiences. More of the Same was literally...more of the same. I appreciate your opinion and high revie.
