Life in an Hourglass
Written after the loss of my son.37 total reviews
Comment from barbara.wilkey
A loss of a child is heartbreaking. You did a wonderful job describing the emotion of this loss. The memories will be with you forever. My heart goes out to you. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2025
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A loss of a child is heartbreaking. You did a wonderful job describing the emotion of this loss. The memories will be with you forever. My heart goes out to you. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 17-Jun-2025
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2025
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Thank you so much for your review. I'm so astonished and all the awesome reviews. I've got so many. I can't keep up really. But I hope you enjoyed it and hope you enjoy them anymore that I have to share. Thank you again
Comment from Mrs Anna Howard
Beautifully written. I love how you wrote about all the little things he did. A great way to honor his legacy.
I am so sorry for your loss. I don't know what to say.
Welcome to the website.
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2025
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Beautifully written. I love how you wrote about all the little things he did. A great way to honor his legacy.
I am so sorry for your loss. I don't know what to say.
Welcome to the website.
Comment Written 17-Jun-2025
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2025
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Thank you so much for your kind words.
And for your review, you said enough Just by giving your review. He's in a Much better place as he had cancer in the end was very much trauma field but he held on for his daughter. I didn't put that bit in there. As there was a little more to the poem. I just didn't want to make it too much for anybody. But thank you again and I hope you enjoy my other 2 poems that are on here as well. Thank you.
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Sounds like it was very hard. Again, I am so sorry.
I will read more of your work!
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Thank you so very much
Comment from Ella Brooke Marzonie
A provoking and moving piece of work~
Wonderfully formatted, but a heaviness to it with a lining of hope, making Raiders reflect on many things, something everyone can relate to, but still clearly holds a special meeting to the writer
Phenomenal work, I can't wait to see what more you have
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2025
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A provoking and moving piece of work~
Wonderfully formatted, but a heaviness to it with a lining of hope, making Raiders reflect on many things, something everyone can relate to, but still clearly holds a special meeting to the writer
Phenomenal work, I can't wait to see what more you have
Comment Written 16-Jun-2025
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2025
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Thank you so much for the positive feedback. I'm amazed myself at all. The wonderful responses to the two poems that i've entered in two separate contest So thank you.
Comment from Sanku
welcome to the site!This is a poem of grief and loss. The sense of loss s expressed very well here ,I have a suggestion..in lines two and four the 'to' should be 'too'.
keep writing .it is therapeutic.
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2025
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welcome to the site!This is a poem of grief and loss. The sense of loss s expressed very well here ,I have a suggestion..in lines two and four the 'to' should be 'too'.
keep writing .it is therapeutic.
Comment Written 16-Jun-2025
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2025
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Thank you so much. And yes, I will keep writing. I have another poem on here too. Reviews on both. How do I touch my heart and have give me? I think a new opportunity thank you.
Comment from Wendi Budgell
This poem is a heartfelt and poignant tribute to loss and grief, capturing the deep sorrow and lingering memories after a loved one's passing. Its straightforward, honest language conveys heavy emotions like regret, pain, and hope for reunion. While the rhyme scheme is simple and familiar, it effectively supports the emotional weight, making it a sincere and comforting reflection on mourning and remembrance.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2025
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This poem is a heartfelt and poignant tribute to loss and grief, capturing the deep sorrow and lingering memories after a loved one's passing. Its straightforward, honest language conveys heavy emotions like regret, pain, and hope for reunion. While the rhyme scheme is simple and familiar, it effectively supports the emotional weight, making it a sincere and comforting reflection on mourning and remembrance.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 16-Jun-2025
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2025
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Thank you once again. I wish I could pay attention to detail like you. Have in your reviews as well. As when I was reviewing other peoples. I'm new to all this and especially the different kind of poems. That are out there. I don't know how to write that kind God deal. Know how to write rhyming ones. So I better stick to that, thank you.
Comment from tinkervic
I really like how you expressed this poem in such words I could feel it. I'm so sorry for your loss, but like many writing is thepary to show how and get out what you feel. Keep writing.
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2025
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I really like how you expressed this poem in such words I could feel it. I'm so sorry for your loss, but like many writing is thepary to show how and get out what you feel. Keep writing.
Comment Written 15-Jun-2025
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2025
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I Made several changes. Due to errors and the weight was formed so if you could recheck it and then give me a review of time is running out, thank you
Comment from Marilyn Hamilton
Congratulations on your first milestone post. I enjoyed your poem and the comparison of life to an hour glass. My favorite line:
:::Like the shadow on a sundial, Your life faded way too fast. :::
I hope to see more of your poems posted in the future.
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2025
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Congratulations on your first milestone post. I enjoyed your poem and the comparison of life to an hour glass. My favorite line:
:::Like the shadow on a sundial, Your life faded way too fast. :::
I hope to see more of your poems posted in the future.
Comment Written 15-Jun-2025
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2025
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Thank you I don't know how this platform works too. Well, and they don't have a number to call. So someone could walk me through this whole thing. Would that be possible for you for me to call you or you call me as well. As I have another poem I wrote last night as to Father's Day and the loss of my son and him not being here. Do you think it's too late to? Enter this contest as I've already spent so much money. Bumping this over and over. Please let me know my numbers. 8 1 2 8 4 1 12 60. If you don't have a problem with calling me. I can use the accept calls from 12 to 4. Today would not be a good day on very busy.thanks again
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I would be happy to call and try to help. Did you mean today would not work or today would work from 12 - 4 ? It is 1 pm where I am
Let me know
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How's tomorrow at 12:10pm
I think we're on the same time. I'm in indiana as it's 1:08 now
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Ok I will give a call tomorrow afternoon
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Awesome can't wait
Comment from Nicki.B
Hey Richard, this is a beautiful tribute poem for the devastating loss of your son. I'm terribly sorry for your loss. You have really expressed here from your heart and soul the hurt and pain you feel. And I loved how you used the hourglass to depict time.
Life is so precious and so is the time we have, and you clearly have many wonderful memories of your son and that's wonderful.
Congratulations on your first milestone post and welcome to fanstory!
Stanza 3 - perhaps should read 'the' should have beens. ?
Well done, happy writing
Best Wishes
Nicki x
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2025
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Hey Richard, this is a beautiful tribute poem for the devastating loss of your son. I'm terribly sorry for your loss. You have really expressed here from your heart and soul the hurt and pain you feel. And I loved how you used the hourglass to depict time.
Life is so precious and so is the time we have, and you clearly have many wonderful memories of your son and that's wonderful.
Congratulations on your first milestone post and welcome to fanstory!
Stanza 3 - perhaps should read 'the' should have beens. ?
Well done, happy writing
Best Wishes
Nicki x
Comment Written 15-Jun-2025
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2025
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Thank you so much. I will be putting more Poems, I've wrote over the years matter of fact. I wrote one last night. As I just realized today was Father's Day but I think it's too late to enter in the contest as I probably wouldn't get the promotion needed and it cost a lot of money to promote all the time. But thank you once again
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Yes it is, if you review poems and prose to build up your member dollars through the week it helps with promoting your own work!
Best of luck, look forward to seeing more of your writing!
Nicki
Comment from Janet Foor
Welcome to FanStory and I'm so sorry for your loss.
This is a well written and heartfelt poem. Very nice rhyme and good use of alliteration.
Well done.
Blessings
Janet
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2025
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Welcome to FanStory and I'm so sorry for your loss.
This is a well written and heartfelt poem. Very nice rhyme and good use of alliteration.
Well done.
Blessings
Janet
Comment Written 14-Jun-2025
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2025
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Thank you so much. And I will be entering more contest as I have many poems. I rode over the years. I have one I. Wrote last not a matter of fact as I didn't realize. Today was Father's Day until then. I think it's too late to enter this contest. Because I wouldn't get the promotion and it cost a lot of money to keep promoting. I don't really know how to use this promoting thing to get free promotions. And there's not a number to call, but thank you.
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You're welcome. One way to get extra promotion value is "click on read" and then the "up next". You may not get much cash but you could get and extra "pump" value which amounts to $2.95, I think.
Good luck and keep writing and posting.
Comment from patcelaw
This is a very well written rhyming poem for the contest. It is also a very well written piece as your first post here on story. I think you have a lot of potential as a writer and I would encourage you to keep writing. Patricia.
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2025
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This is a very well written rhyming poem for the contest. It is also a very well written piece as your first post here on story. I think you have a lot of potential as a writer and I would encourage you to keep writing. Patricia.
Comment Written 14-Jun-2025
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2025
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Thank you. And I will be putting more of my poems on here. I've wrote over the years I. Wrote one last night. But I don't think I would get the promotion in this contest so I'll be waiting for another one so that maybe I can get free promotions because I spend a lot of money promoting that 1 raising it up. But thank you again for your kind words and your encouragement.
