Convicted
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "Convicted - Chapter Three"A mother fights to prove her son's innocence
13 total reviews
Comment from Darlene BoClair
As I continue to read your story I am intrigued of the new court characters and the environment. Visual effects can trul make way for TV crime episode. Curious what ages would you recommend your book for readers?
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2025
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As I continue to read your story I am intrigued of the new court characters and the environment. Visual effects can trul make way for TV crime episode. Curious what ages would you recommend your book for readers?
Comment Written 03-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2025
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Hi Darlene, the book is aimed at adults. I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.
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Thanks for letting me know.
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Just read Rachelle Allen's interview with you. Quite interesting. And thanks for the endorsements. I'm always looking for good reads.
'Crossing my knees' should have told me the character was a female. but until I got to 'clicking my heels' I wasn't positive. But that was a minor issue, unworthy of discussion. It was easy enough to simply keep reading and figure it out.
Good start to a novel. I look forward to reading more.
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2025
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Just read Rachelle Allen's interview with you. Quite interesting. And thanks for the endorsements. I'm always looking for good reads.
'Crossing my knees' should have told me the character was a female. but until I got to 'clicking my heels' I wasn't positive. But that was a minor issue, unworthy of discussion. It was easy enough to simply keep reading and figure it out.
Good start to a novel. I look forward to reading more.
Comment Written 21-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2025
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Thank you, Wayne, I'm really pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
That was very tense, I could feel all of Stacey's emotions, her fear, her anger. I would be the same if it was my son standing waiting to be sentenced for something he didn't do! This was excellent, my friend. Well done! :)) Sandra xxx
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2025
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That was very tense, I could feel all of Stacey's emotions, her fear, her anger. I would be the same if it was my son standing waiting to be sentenced for something he didn't do! This was excellent, my friend. Well done! :)) Sandra xxx
Comment Written 19-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2025
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Thank you, Sandra, I'm really pleased that you could feel Stacey's emotions. It's something I really want to make sure I get right. I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from Neonewman
What a captivating chapter, Jacob. I was on the edge of my seat toward the end. The build-up was incredible, my friend. I loved the tid bits of back story, just enough to give us what we need. I wish I had another six to give as all three chapters are deserving.
God bless,
Steve
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2025
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What a captivating chapter, Jacob. I was on the edge of my seat toward the end. The build-up was incredible, my friend. I loved the tid bits of back story, just enough to give us what we need. I wish I had another six to give as all three chapters are deserving.
God bless,
Steve
Comment Written 19-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2025
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Thank you, Steve, I'm really pleased that you enjoyed it.
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My pleasure, Jacob.
Comment from Rachelle Allen
Okay, at the risk of sounding creepy and a bit "out there," I have to tell you, Jacob, that I could not wait to write the review this morning about this tremendous chapter.
My stomach is as full of butterflies as the narrator's is because of how you suspend the electricity of what is about to occur in that courtroom. You keep us so ENGAGED with the minutiae - the scent of gum from the across-the-aisle train passenger, the hairstyle and facial hair of Joshua's barrister, the smells in the rail car, the way the buildings look as we cross the street to enter the courtroom. This keeps us from overthinking the horror that could potentially lie in wait for Stacey's child.
I was especially impressed with the way you unpeeled a layer of the backstory to reveal who Joshua's accused of killing - who she was to him, what she looked like. Drawing comparisons to her looks and that of the girl on train was absolutely brilliant. Literary gold, really. (I shook my head at that part and said - out loud, mind you, despite being here in my writing room alone - "Oh my goodness; Jacob is a genius at this!"
Finally, you got us totally on board there in the courtroom as you set the scene with Alex's family on one side of the room, Joshua's on the other, and the judge in-between, while, outside, there is a throng of cameras and reporters waiting to hear the verdict.
How can I possibly be expected to wait another week for the next chapter??
Extraordinary work, Jacob. Someday, when you're a best-selling author, I'm going to say, "I always knew this would happen."
xoxoxo
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2025
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Okay, at the risk of sounding creepy and a bit "out there," I have to tell you, Jacob, that I could not wait to write the review this morning about this tremendous chapter.
My stomach is as full of butterflies as the narrator's is because of how you suspend the electricity of what is about to occur in that courtroom. You keep us so ENGAGED with the minutiae - the scent of gum from the across-the-aisle train passenger, the hairstyle and facial hair of Joshua's barrister, the smells in the rail car, the way the buildings look as we cross the street to enter the courtroom. This keeps us from overthinking the horror that could potentially lie in wait for Stacey's child.
I was especially impressed with the way you unpeeled a layer of the backstory to reveal who Joshua's accused of killing - who she was to him, what she looked like. Drawing comparisons to her looks and that of the girl on train was absolutely brilliant. Literary gold, really. (I shook my head at that part and said - out loud, mind you, despite being here in my writing room alone - "Oh my goodness; Jacob is a genius at this!"
Finally, you got us totally on board there in the courtroom as you set the scene with Alex's family on one side of the room, Joshua's on the other, and the judge in-between, while, outside, there is a throng of cameras and reporters waiting to hear the verdict.
How can I possibly be expected to wait another week for the next chapter??
Extraordinary work, Jacob. Someday, when you're a best-selling author, I'm going to say, "I always knew this would happen."
xoxoxo
Comment Written 19-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2025
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Thank you for the detailed review, Rachelle and for the six stars. I'm really pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from BethShelby
I see you are redoing this story and even changing the title. It is more dramatic than the first version and I'm enjoing it. I'm just trying to get back after a set back and I'll be looking forwad to more.
Beth
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2025
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I see you are redoing this story and even changing the title. It is more dramatic than the first version and I'm enjoing it. I'm just trying to get back after a set back and I'll be looking forwad to more.
Beth
Comment Written 17-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2025
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Thank you, Beth, yes I wasn't happy with the structure of the previous draft so I thought it would be better to start again. I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
Houses blitz past, not pass.
Just a thought: "the graffiti covered grey walls" - if you told us what some of that graffiti says, it could give us a sense of date and what is going on around the trial.
"what the arguments about" - argument's
"train raid to St. Paul's" - train ride
"I glance at my watch, 7:45 a.m. by eight o'clock ..." - (new sentence) By 8:00 (you've already used 7:45, so 8:00 is correct)
You ended the chapter with a nice cliff hanger, causing us to also have to wait for the verdict. Always a good idea to have a hook like that.
Looking forward to the next chapter, Jacob.
xo
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2025
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Houses blitz past, not pass.
Just a thought: "the graffiti covered grey walls" - if you told us what some of that graffiti says, it could give us a sense of date and what is going on around the trial.
"what the arguments about" - argument's
"train raid to St. Paul's" - train ride
"I glance at my watch, 7:45 a.m. by eight o'clock ..." - (new sentence) By 8:00 (you've already used 7:45, so 8:00 is correct)
You ended the chapter with a nice cliff hanger, causing us to also have to wait for the verdict. Always a good idea to have a hook like that.
Looking forward to the next chapter, Jacob.
xo
Comment Written 17-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2025
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Thank you Pam, at Liverpool Street there's just graffiti sprayed on the walls which I've seen. I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from Cecilia A Heiskary
Jacob,
This is a great story. I can feel the tension as I read it. The emotions are raw and I feel for the mother of the accused. This story is well organized and flows nicely.
No errors found
Great job my friend
Cecilia
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2025
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Jacob,
This is a great story. I can feel the tension as I read it. The emotions are raw and I feel for the mother of the accused. This story is well organized and flows nicely.
No errors found
Great job my friend
Cecilia
Comment Written 17-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2025
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Thank you, Cecilia, I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.
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You're welcome.
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
I can tell, Jacob, how much work has gone into refining this story. I like all the detail about the transport, the smells and the sweaty rails, etc. Also her wish to be anonymous, just fixed on the task at hand, to get to the Court House. Great pace and excellent ending, hooking the reader in. Only one issue - she's expecting the verdict first thing. In my experience, the verdict would be read out as soon as it was reached and not be adjourned until the next day. Just a thought but not one to spoil my enjoyment. Well done, Jacob. Debbie
but I can't (work out) what the argument(')s about
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2025
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I can tell, Jacob, how much work has gone into refining this story. I like all the detail about the transport, the smells and the sweaty rails, etc. Also her wish to be anonymous, just fixed on the task at hand, to get to the Court House. Great pace and excellent ending, hooking the reader in. Only one issue - she's expecting the verdict first thing. In my experience, the verdict would be read out as soon as it was reached and not be adjourned until the next day. Just a thought but not one to spoil my enjoyment. Well done, Jacob. Debbie
but I can't (work out) what the argument(')s about
Comment Written 16-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2025
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Thank you Debbie, I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.
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What did you think about the verdict comment?
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Hi Debbie, sorry for the late reply. It is something I’ll look into, at the moment they’re expecting this to be the final day of the trial.
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Very well written chapter, I can feel the journey of the mom through mundane tasks to the culmination of the trial. All the details are helping to build up a vivid scene of someone's life in shambles.
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2025
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Very well written chapter, I can feel the journey of the mom through mundane tasks to the culmination of the trial. All the details are helping to build up a vivid scene of someone's life in shambles.
Comment Written 16-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2025
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Thank you, I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.
