Winter Moon
Iroha poem20 total reviews
Comment from DonandVicki
A poem that speaks to me of the danger of the Earths fate, reflected in the moon and it's regular routine.Your Poem engages the readers imagination.
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2024
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A poem that speaks to me of the danger of the Earths fate, reflected in the moon and it's regular routine.Your Poem engages the readers imagination.
Comment Written 30-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2024
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Thank you very much for stopping by.The universe is indifferent to human pains..
Comment from Nicki.B
Stunning imagery here and complimented with a beautiful natural filled scenes with perfectly chosen words. Excellent work. I have never seen that poetry form before 'IROHA POEM' I love seeing all these new styles its amazing there are so many! My favourite is the concluded lines 'shivering earthy sighs' thats wonderful.
Best Wishes
Nicki
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2024
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Stunning imagery here and complimented with a beautiful natural filled scenes with perfectly chosen words. Excellent work. I have never seen that poetry form before 'IROHA POEM' I love seeing all these new styles its amazing there are so many! My favourite is the concluded lines 'shivering earthy sighs' thats wonderful.
Best Wishes
Nicki
Comment Written 30-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2024
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Thank you very much for stopping by.
Comment from estory
There is definitely an oriental feel to the language and form in this one, in a wavering, mysterious imagery. And it captures a unique and different sense of nature; something of the inevitable, the fated, a product of mechanical movement through space and time. As the seasons roll by, and winter moves in, there is a kind of cold indifference about it. We have to deal with the hand we are dealt. There is no compassion in the cold rock of Earth. estory
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2024
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There is definitely an oriental feel to the language and form in this one, in a wavering, mysterious imagery. And it captures a unique and different sense of nature; something of the inevitable, the fated, a product of mechanical movement through space and time. As the seasons roll by, and winter moves in, there is a kind of cold indifference about it. We have to deal with the hand we are dealt. There is no compassion in the cold rock of Earth. estory
Comment Written 30-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2024
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Yes ,the universe is indifferent to human strife .Thank you for understanding that..Not many got it.
Comment from Tim Margetts
What a charmingly simple poem.
From bonsai to art to poetry to gardens.
It always impresses me how the Japanese style of artistic endeavour can make less seem so much more.
Thank you for sharing
Tim
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2024
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What a charmingly simple poem.
From bonsai to art to poetry to gardens.
It always impresses me how the Japanese style of artistic endeavour can make less seem so much more.
Thank you for sharing
Tim
Comment Written 30-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2024
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Thank you very much
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
The winter moon with barrren bare trees paints a chilling picture here as winter's grip makes the earth shiver, I felt the freeze in this post, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2024
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The winter moon with barrren bare trees paints a chilling picture here as winter's grip makes the earth shiver, I felt the freeze in this post, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
Comment Written 30-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2024
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Thank you very much for stopping by.
Comment from lyenochka
I like your Iroha poem with the pensive mood that it conveys. My favorite parts are the alliterative line "Barren trees with branches bare" and the personification of the moon "jostling wispy clouds" while the earth "simply sighs."
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2024
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I like your Iroha poem with the pensive mood that it conveys. My favorite parts are the alliterative line "Barren trees with branches bare" and the personification of the moon "jostling wispy clouds" while the earth "simply sighs."
Comment Written 30-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2024
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Thank you Helen for getting the mood of the poem. It always struck me that the world will go on whatever our personal struggle are
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Excellent entry for the japanese poetry club. Good IROHA form and composition. The presentation and imagery is beautiful. Well done!
Gypsy
"The poet waits quietly to paint the unsaid." - Atticus
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2024
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Excellent entry for the japanese poetry club. Good IROHA form and composition. The presentation and imagery is beautiful. Well done!
Gypsy
"The poet waits quietly to paint the unsaid." - Atticus
Comment Written 30-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2024
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Thank you very much..
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Hi Sanku, I think you created a very atmospheric scene here, quite haunting and imaginatively capturing the chilly landscape in the visual. However, unless I'm mistaken (which I could well be) there are 8 syllables in line 2 and 3. Perhaps you could check? Thanks for sharing, Sanku. Take care Debbie
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2024
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Hi Sanku, I think you created a very atmospheric scene here, quite haunting and imaginatively capturing the chilly landscape in the visual. However, unless I'm mistaken (which I could well be) there are 8 syllables in line 2 and 3. Perhaps you could check? Thanks for sharing, Sanku. Take care Debbie
Comment Written 29-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2024
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Yes .It was pointed out by other reviewers too and I corrected it .Thank you very much for stopping by
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Very nice artwork and presentation, Sanku.
-You wrote a very good poem with a good topic.
-Effective seasonal and nature imagery.
-A very good opening line.
-You create a good word picture of the scene,
as well as contrast in line four.
-I like the lines about the lunar routine
not caring about the earth's plight.
-A very good closing line that creates an aha moment.
-Very well done.
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2024
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-Very nice artwork and presentation, Sanku.
-You wrote a very good poem with a good topic.
-Effective seasonal and nature imagery.
-A very good opening line.
-You create a good word picture of the scene,
as well as contrast in line four.
-I like the lines about the lunar routine
not caring about the earth's plight.
-A very good closing line that creates an aha moment.
-Very well done.
Comment Written 29-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2024
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Thank you very much .I took your suggestion and changed 'desolate' to 'barren'.I want to keep quietly because Iroha poems tries to include all the alphabets .So I changed 'wispy' to 'stray'..Thank you.
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You are very welcome. Thanks for sharing more about the form. I updated your review to reflect the changes. You did a great job.
Comment from royowen
Your poem says it all Santha, the imagery agrees with the vividness of your fabulous poem my friend, super job with the presentation, and a great job with the poem, well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2024
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Your poem says it all Santha, the imagery agrees with the vividness of your fabulous poem my friend, super job with the presentation, and a great job with the poem, well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 29-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2024
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Thank you very much.RoY God bless!
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welcome Santha