Comment from Wendy G

Excellent

A very realistic chapter, with great authenticity in the characters of these two girls. An engrossing read - but a very dramatic ending, looking like an inevitable smash. Will Georgie be killed and Maddi forever blame herself?
I am looking forward to your next chapter!
No suggestions - I thought it was great.
Wendy

 Comment Written 05-Jul-2024

---

reply by the author on 08-Jul-2024

Thanks again, Wendy! You're such a good reader. I appreciate you checking in for me.

Comment from Pamusart

Excellent

Hi, Laurie

Well, you certainly added a lot of excitement to the end of this chapter.

Georgia and Maddie sound just like sisters will sound in real life

The father's character must've been developed more fully in a previous chapter. In this chapter, it seems that he is preoccupied with something that is stressing him a lot. I guess we'll find out in a later chapter why he's so stressed out.

He also seems to let the girls get away with everything. As illustrated by Georgia getting in the front seat when he told her to get in the back.

This is well written with no apparent errors

Was Zana a character in a previous chapter?

" She was right, Zana. I belonged to these trees, and they belonged to me."

I enjoyed reading your story

Good job. Thank you for sharing.

 Comment Written 05-Jul-2024

---

reply by the author on 08-Jul-2024

Hi! Thanks for your review. Yep, Zana was the fortune teller earlier in the book. And no, I don't think we'll find out what the heck Maddie's father was stressing out over, until maybe my third book. As kids, I think we're completely self-absorbed, and since the POV is Maddie's, we know he's embroiled in something, probably gambling, but since she's only 8, we can only see him from an adoring 8-yr old girl sees him. We'll find out about his flaws in the third full-length book of the series. (this one is just a novella, a backstory of Maddie's childhood.) Book Two is coming out late this year.

Comment from Teri7

Excellent

This is a really great chapter you have penned. As I was reading and reviewing this I felt like I was right there in the middle of the snow and witnessing the children acting up. Great descriptive words and dialogue. I wish you the best. teri

 Comment Written 05-Jul-2024

---

reply by the author on 08-Jul-2024

Thanks, Teri! I really appreciate it. Last chapter coming today or tomorrow.

Comment from Michael Ludwinder

Excellent

This was terrific. Your story beautifully captures the tension between siblings and their father during the journey. I liked the descriptions of their emotions. The dialogue feels authentic and the inner thoughts are well written. Great job.

 Comment Written 05-Jul-2024

---

reply by the author on 08-Jul-2024

Thank you so much, Michael! Last chapter coming today or tomorrow. Whew.