Reviews from

Stirring up visions

A Potlatch Club entry

20 total reviews 
Comment from E.P. Mackey
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Clever use of the French language :) I really liked the image of a stormy sea your poem evoked. Liked the image you chose as well, reminds me of an old fairytale.

 Comment Written 15-May-2024


reply by the author on 16-May-2024
    E.P. Thank you!
Comment from Idawiesenfeld
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Beautiful. You wrote it in a fun rhyme that almost links to the twirling thoughts. Putting an audio of the sea is a great idea and the picture is fabulous. Great work! Keep writing!

 Comment Written 15-May-2024


reply by the author on 16-May-2024
    Ida, thank you and may you be well throughout each day!
Comment from dragonpoet
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hi Jim
This poem follows this new form well. Sometimes thrills come when we don't want them.
Nice artwork accompanying the poem.
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Enjoy the rest of your werk.
Joan

 Comment Written 15-May-2024


reply by the author on 15-May-2024
    Thank you Joan.
reply by dragonpoet on 15-May-2024
    My pleasure, Jim.
    Joan
Comment from GoWiSt
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Interesting complementary picture art choice.
Good imagery, as I was virtually transported into the scene at the sea.
"fille" I just looked up this word, which means girl, daighter or young lady (originally translated from French). Thanks for the education. I enjoyed reading this.

 Comment Written 15-May-2024


reply by the author on 15-May-2024
    Thank you.
Comment from Julie Helms
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

What a beautiful effect this poem has. I was considering giving the Zeno a shot, so wanted to see some examples. Your poem has an ethereal and timeless quality to it.
Beautifully done!
Julie

 Comment Written 14-May-2024


reply by the author on 15-May-2024
    Julie, I am grateful for your nice comments. Thank you!
Comment from Pam (respa)
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

-Very nice artwork, presentation, and
the addition of the sounds of the sea.
-You wrote a good poem about it.
-A very good opening verse
showing how the wind was
provoking you so you chose to sit still.
-I like the use of "twirl" to describe your thoughts.
-A very good second verse showing
that the wait was worth it.
-Very well done.

 Comment Written 14-May-2024


reply by the author on 14-May-2024
    Pam, thank you!
reply by Pam (respa) on 14-May-2024
    You are welcome, Jim.
Comment from Begin Again
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I find so much peace when I sit by the water, whether it is the riverbank in my backyard or the beach by the sea. It's a place to relax, let your mind travel and find peace. Your poem does just that.
Smiles, Carol

 Comment Written 14-May-2024


reply by the author on 14-May-2024
    Carol, thank you!
Comment from Wendy G
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I like the contrast between the person sitting still, by the sea, when a young woman appears and her surprising appearance is also reflected by a tumultuous wind and his thoughts beginning to swirl and thrill. Well done.
Wendy

 Comment Written 14-May-2024


reply by the author on 14-May-2024
    Wendy, thank you!
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I do like the feel of this Zenopoem JLR with the blustery winds and twirling thoughts then the thrill of the mermaid. Your 421 lines are a bit out of wack but it doesn't deter from the read. Love cleo's artwork too.
cheers,
valda

 Comment Written 14-May-2024


reply by the author on 14-May-2024
    Thanks Valda
Comment from lyenochka
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Interesting choice of words to rhyme - like the French word for girl or daughter "fille" - you showed me the English meaning and rhymed it well with "still" and "thrill." I liked the contrast of the blustery wind and sitting still.

 Comment Written 14-May-2024


reply by the author on 14-May-2024
    Helen,thank you!