Spectre
Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "The Blur"This is book two of a trilogy book 1 "Ghost"
13 total reviews
Comment from CrystieCookie999
This chapter helps add to the layers of your story that chaos and abusive situations continue until someone makes a decision. I love the fact that you just took off out through the door.
Here is one awkward sentence:
"Drink ladies?" The blonde man said.
I think it would sound better as:
"Drinks, ladies?" asked the blonde man.
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2023
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This chapter helps add to the layers of your story that chaos and abusive situations continue until someone makes a decision. I love the fact that you just took off out through the door.
Here is one awkward sentence:
"Drink ladies?" The blonde man said.
I think it would sound better as:
"Drinks, ladies?" asked the blonde man.
Comment Written 30-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2023
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Thank you, I'll change that. Thank you so much for your kind review as well. I appreciate you every time you visit. It's always a constructive one and you have great insight too. Thanks again hope your day is grand!
Comment from Liz O'Neill
I saw you were practicing safety by requesting only water. The problem is they can does even water. Nothing is safe. There is a new preventative movement lately. The rohypnol will turn the liquid blue. Your intermittent use of personification enhances your visceral experience. Thank you.
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2023
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I saw you were practicing safety by requesting only water. The problem is they can does even water. Nothing is safe. There is a new preventative movement lately. The rohypnol will turn the liquid blue. Your intermittent use of personification enhances your visceral experience. Thank you.
Comment Written 25-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2023
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Hi liz how are you doing? Thank you so much for your wonderful review and your excellent rating. I'm happy to see you here! Thank you again for your wonderful compliments. I hope you're doing well i'm wishing you and awesome day!
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I am honored. It seems the universe is beginning to shine on me
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Beaming brightly!
Comment from LJbutterfly
Your detailed descriptions are so vivid they make me feel nervous as though I'm in danger. I feel your fear, your pain, and your despair and disappointment. That means you are an excellent writer and storyteller. Your well-chosen words are capable of putting the reader into the scene so they can see what you saw, and feel what you felt. Well done, Lea.
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2023
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Your detailed descriptions are so vivid they make me feel nervous as though I'm in danger. I feel your fear, your pain, and your despair and disappointment. That means you are an excellent writer and storyteller. Your well-chosen words are capable of putting the reader into the scene so they can see what you saw, and feel what you felt. Well done, Lea.
Comment Written 25-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2023
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Thank you very much that's a kind and wonderful compliment! I thank you There to do so many many times because Oh I am truly grateful for it all i'm hoping you're having a great day!
Comment from T B Botts
Hello Lea,
I'm glad you came to your senses. Apparently your "friend was a prostitute and had introduced you into that life style as well. Was she older than you? How could she have become familiar with that kind of life so young? She mentions that you were being paid to perform- was she pocketing all the money? What were you supposed to be getting out of this, aside from pain and humiliation? I'm looking forward to the next chapter. I don't know what to tell you about your mom. She appears to be unstable. I'm surprised that your son would fall for her lies, having lived with you, I assume for all his life. I hope that you can get some relief soon. Hang in there gal.
Blessings,
Tom
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2023
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Hello Lea,
I'm glad you came to your senses. Apparently your "friend was a prostitute and had introduced you into that life style as well. Was she older than you? How could she have become familiar with that kind of life so young? She mentions that you were being paid to perform- was she pocketing all the money? What were you supposed to be getting out of this, aside from pain and humiliation? I'm looking forward to the next chapter. I don't know what to tell you about your mom. She appears to be unstable. I'm surprised that your son would fall for her lies, having lived with you, I assume for all his life. I hope that you can get some relief soon. Hang in there gal.
Blessings,
Tom
Comment Written 25-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2023
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Oh yes, my voice grew up to be successful. I think he's more of a standing off kind of thing going on. We're just gonnot being involved in just sit back and watch what happens. What he was a distance from me about twelve hour drive. Hanging in there Tom thank you so much! Unfortunately prostitution and recruitment begins early sometimes before they even reach puberty. It's terrible I know. I hope your day is amazing!
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I'm sure you can feel relief as you keep writing. Thank you for sharing this story with us.
"Let's roll. Lines movin' up." Ginger haired man said. (comma after 'up,')
You'll see." E replied. (comma after 'see,')
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2023
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I'm sure you can feel relief as you keep writing. Thank you for sharing this story with us.
"Let's roll. Lines movin' up." Ginger haired man said. (comma after 'up,')
You'll see." E replied. (comma after 'see,')
Comment Written 25-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2023
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Not so bad and punctuation this time. I just need to be more vigilant I think. Thank you again I really appreciate you!
Comment from Rachelle Allen
Imagine a cornered rat. They do ANYTHING to escape. An.Y.Thing. They'd attack a cat or a dog...or a human...if that were their only way out. That's what you're watching here with your mother. She is DESPERATE, so dangerous. But she's also impotent against the truth. An innocent person would never feel the need to go to such lengths.
So proud of you for not losing your resolve. xo
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2023
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Imagine a cornered rat. They do ANYTHING to escape. An.Y.Thing. They'd attack a cat or a dog...or a human...if that were their only way out. That's what you're watching here with your mother. She is DESPERATE, so dangerous. But she's also impotent against the truth. An innocent person would never feel the need to go to such lengths.
So proud of you for not losing your resolve. xo
Comment Written 25-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2023
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My friend, you are the best. You always say the greatest things to keep me upright and forging ahead. It's not by myself that I write this. And I acknowledge that to you. Especially in everyone around me who has been so supportive. Without you I may have not continued thank you so much again you rock!
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Oh no you don't. This courage belongs COMPLETELY to you. I just think you and your talent and your story deserve to be heard. And, as you can see from the reviews you're receiving, YOU ARE BELIEVED. (And that's the biggest problem you're mother is having right now...not so much that you're writing this --though certainly that doesn't thrill her-- but that people who are reading it are standing strong behind you.)
Comment from Chuck Keller
This roller coaster is terrifying
No repeat of K but clearly on the wrong track to exit the ride
It takes great courage to run into the darkness alone.
As for your grandmother, she's a sad look into the past for many women.
A victim of abuse who continues the "tradition" because it's ALL she knows.
Your escape and discontinuation of that "tradition" is difficult but brave.
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2023
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This roller coaster is terrifying
No repeat of K but clearly on the wrong track to exit the ride
It takes great courage to run into the darkness alone.
As for your grandmother, she's a sad look into the past for many women.
A victim of abuse who continues the "tradition" because it's ALL she knows.
Your escape and discontinuation of that "tradition" is difficult but brave.
Comment Written 25-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2023
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Absolutely right! I mean, it's generational. No one stops it just keeps repeating itself. And what do they say about doing the same thing over and over? Expecting different results that would be insanity. Chuck you're an amazing reviewer just so you know! Thank you. My fine friend always happy to see you had a good holiday and all is well!
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
You build up so much tension all the way through and the relief when you run is absolutely palpable! Everywhere you seem to be surrounded by wolves waiting to pounce. And even your friend hasn't got an ounce of empathy which leaves me in despair. Your final line is such a strong statement of that ghost inside you, that poor child who is so tragically alone. There are some small edits in the main body: "which woman (they) were going to have.."; she'll (loosen) up; "While R was cosying up beside me(,); "I stood up, scann(ing) the doors(') exact location. But more excellent writing, Lea. Stay strong and as focused as you can in the face of that woman's evil. She wouldn't be like this if you weren't as strong and formidable as you're proving to be. Love Debbie x
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2023
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You build up so much tension all the way through and the relief when you run is absolutely palpable! Everywhere you seem to be surrounded by wolves waiting to pounce. And even your friend hasn't got an ounce of empathy which leaves me in despair. Your final line is such a strong statement of that ghost inside you, that poor child who is so tragically alone. There are some small edits in the main body: "which woman (they) were going to have.."; she'll (loosen) up; "While R was cosying up beside me(,); "I stood up, scann(ing) the doors(') exact location. But more excellent writing, Lea. Stay strong and as focused as you can in the face of that woman's evil. She wouldn't be like this if you weren't as strong and formidable as you're proving to be. Love Debbie x
Comment Written 25-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2023
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I took a while. Everyone has their wine this far. No farther she was beyond a prostitute she was a pimp. And she tried to pimp me out. I don't know how many other girls she did this too. I do know that she is out of the business. And she's a postal lady she delivers the mail daily. Things change I guess say sometimes for the better. I appreciate your awesome review is always in your fine rating and your suggestions for edit isn't a program. I can use to check for punctuation? I keep trying to figure it out but I don't know. It isn't my strong suit unfortunately. Thank you again, my friend for all your good words. Your support and the fact that you can see right through me. L o l have a good night!
Comment from Jim Wile
Good for you for getting out of there. Now you're stuck in the dark not knowing where you are, but you'll figure it out. You avoided the worst.
Would it work to have your son call your sisters to corroborate your story, and maybe he will quit believing his grandmother? He seems to have been taken in by her lies. It still might be worthwhile getting away, but it's so sad he is being taken in by her. You know how hard it is not to be believed.
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2023
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Good for you for getting out of there. Now you're stuck in the dark not knowing where you are, but you'll figure it out. You avoided the worst.
Would it work to have your son call your sisters to corroborate your story, and maybe he will quit believing his grandmother? He seems to have been taken in by her lies. It still might be worthwhile getting away, but it's so sad he is being taken in by her. You know how hard it is not to be believed.
Comment Written 25-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2023
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I think what my son is doing right now is airing on the side of caution. I'm kind of fifty fifty I don't know right now but i'm just thinking that this book comes out and I don't have to say anything beyond that point. For now, he knows he can talk to me whenever he wishes. He has my love and so do my grandchildren. Thank you so much jim as usual as you give wonderful review! Your kindness as you do is great to me a superior and wonderful thing! Your time and you're fine rating it's also avaluable thank you So much!
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I can understand that. Just make sure that he reads it, though. You might not want to wait until all three volumes have been completed.
Comment from BethShelby
Lea, many people who have grow up in abusive household and finally excaped as you did become totally estranged from their family and never have contact with their mother again. The mother never sees her grandchildlren. You didn't choose to do that. You must have some feelings for her, since she is still able to hurt you. Running away from the friend in whole house you are staying, isn't working out very well. She is trying to turn you into a prostitute so in order for that not to happen it seems you'd need to come with another option for a roof over your head. How old are you at this point? I'm anxious to see what happens next.
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2023
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Lea, many people who have grow up in abusive household and finally excaped as you did become totally estranged from their family and never have contact with their mother again. The mother never sees her grandchildlren. You didn't choose to do that. You must have some feelings for her, since she is still able to hurt you. Running away from the friend in whole house you are staying, isn't working out very well. She is trying to turn you into a prostitute so in order for that not to happen it seems you'd need to come with another option for a roof over your head. How old are you at this point? I'm anxious to see what happens next.
Comment Written 25-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2023
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I was seventeen years old at the time. As I'm sure you've noticed this, you read along. My family didn't teach us anything valuable for the outside world. Just more like we were there slaves and didn't much care beyond that. So no lifeskills did we learn other than I worked hard my whole life cause I did it in the home too. Thank you Beth. I so appreciate you and your common. You have an interesting way of seeing things which brings you write Claire to the meat of the matter. Thank you again. Have a great evening!