Guided by Faith
Viewing comments for Chapter 29 "Chapter 18 B"Can faith guide our path?
37 total reviews
Comment from lancellot
The structural writing seemed fine. Nothing jumped out at me. Not much in this section of the chapter. I think your audience doesn't mind that.
notes:
"I have a hunch that Barton is after men with big bankrolls. We'll discuss it later."
1) Why would he care?
2) That's normal for women.
3) It's a small town. We've been told over and over again there are no secrets in a small town.
PS: You may want to rethink the title of this novel. There isn't much faith in it so far.
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2023
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The structural writing seemed fine. Nothing jumped out at me. Not much in this section of the chapter. I think your audience doesn't mind that.
notes:
"I have a hunch that Barton is after men with big bankrolls. We'll discuss it later."
1) Why would he care?
2) That's normal for women.
3) It's a small town. We've been told over and over again there are no secrets in a small town.
PS: You may want to rethink the title of this novel. There isn't much faith in it so far.
Comment Written 23-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2023
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I never use the title for the final novel. It goes through about five or six titles before I settle on one. As for Elliots bank account. We know he has a lot of money but not exactly how much. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Paul Manton
A totally convincing narrative with the most natural dialogue I have read this week. These two are such sympathetic characters, it is easy to like them and take their sides.
The richness of this 'community' does remind me of an Aussie 'soap' - and that is meant as a compliment! The vicissitudes of your far from perfect supporting roles adds light, shade and color to the proceedings - and, perhaps more important, depth - a context for Seth and Emma.
Today the outstanding feature (not for the first time) was Seth's empathic and sympathetic care for Emma following all her trauma.
I look forward to the next part. Thank you. My final six.
Paul
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2023
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A totally convincing narrative with the most natural dialogue I have read this week. These two are such sympathetic characters, it is easy to like them and take their sides.
The richness of this 'community' does remind me of an Aussie 'soap' - and that is meant as a compliment! The vicissitudes of your far from perfect supporting roles adds light, shade and color to the proceedings - and, perhaps more important, depth - a context for Seth and Emma.
Today the outstanding feature (not for the first time) was Seth's empathic and sympathetic care for Emma following all her trauma.
I look forward to the next part. Thank you. My final six.
Paul
Comment Written 23-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2023
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Thank you for the encouragement. I really appreciate it coming from you.
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Welcome. Barbara.
Comment from Pam (respa)
A very good chapter, and I liked the picture for it. I'm glad to see Emma's health is improving, and she is getting back to work. I also like how her relationship with Seth is going. She is more willing to share, and their relationship is more natural. They can talk as friends and accept each other for who they are.
It was a good choice to put the incident with Peggy Barton and Elliott in the middle of the chapter. It definitely raised the bar of suspense and intrigue. I was glad that Emma was more forthcoming about mentioning it. Seth's observations about Peggy were most interesting. But he is also professional. First is the meeting with everyone at the station to make sure all things are above board. Then it seems that Peggy Barton may be into more than meets the eye.
A good end to the chapter, as well. I also think that shortening them is making them better, too.
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2023
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A very good chapter, and I liked the picture for it. I'm glad to see Emma's health is improving, and she is getting back to work. I also like how her relationship with Seth is going. She is more willing to share, and their relationship is more natural. They can talk as friends and accept each other for who they are.
It was a good choice to put the incident with Peggy Barton and Elliott in the middle of the chapter. It definitely raised the bar of suspense and intrigue. I was glad that Emma was more forthcoming about mentioning it. Seth's observations about Peggy were most interesting. But he is also professional. First is the meeting with everyone at the station to make sure all things are above board. Then it seems that Peggy Barton may be into more than meets the eye.
A good end to the chapter, as well. I also think that shortening them is making them better, too.
Comment Written 22-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2023
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Thank you for the encouragement.
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You are welcome.
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
This is a faultlessly written chapter mostly focusing on this couple's growing attachment and care for one another. This is conveyed well and credibly in your dialogue. But what is Ms Barton up to now? Whatever that is, Seth's on her case! Thanks for sharing, Barbara. Debbie x
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2023
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This is a faultlessly written chapter mostly focusing on this couple's growing attachment and care for one another. This is conveyed well and credibly in your dialogue. But what is Ms Barton up to now? Whatever that is, Seth's on her case! Thanks for sharing, Barbara. Debbie x
Comment Written 22-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2023
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from JSD
Not too long, and I didn't see any obvious errors, so the proof-reading is working for me! This is a sweet story of a relationship that is blooming. Your dialogue, in particular, makes it live on the 'page'. Well done.
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2023
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Not too long, and I didn't see any obvious errors, so the proof-reading is working for me! This is a sweet story of a relationship that is blooming. Your dialogue, in particular, makes it live on the 'page'. Well done.
Comment Written 22-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2023
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from rama devi
Nice theme. I've not read previous chapters or part one of this chapter, but I am not really actively reviewing here anymore...just a few a week, sporadically. The great thing about your writing is that I can get drawn in immediately and feel I know the characters too. Good dialog-driven pacing. Great dialog. Just the right amount of descriptive detail.
A few suggestions:
Some minutes later(,) the sound of the timer dinging woke Emma.
*
"I have a good feeling about it." Seth studied Emma for a few moments before he said, "I know you're really tired, but I have a feeling there's something else."
Suggest keeping the action tag and trimming the speech tag above. You don't need both.
"I have a good feeling about it." Seth studied Emma for a few moments. "I know you're really tired, but I have a feeling there's something else."
*
"I heard something at the bakery today. It's gossip(,) so..."
*"What you need to understand is it had nothing to do with you, or me(,) for that matter.
*
After watching Emma's eyes, he added, "Please keep it between us, but her relationship with Elliot was going on long before you ever returned to town."
(optional) - keep action tag, trim speech tag:
He watched Emma's eyes. "Please keep it between us, but her relationship with Elliot was going on long before you ever returned to town."
The dialog enhances characterization well.
Blessings!
rd
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2023
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Nice theme. I've not read previous chapters or part one of this chapter, but I am not really actively reviewing here anymore...just a few a week, sporadically. The great thing about your writing is that I can get drawn in immediately and feel I know the characters too. Good dialog-driven pacing. Great dialog. Just the right amount of descriptive detail.
A few suggestions:
Some minutes later(,) the sound of the timer dinging woke Emma.
*
"I have a good feeling about it." Seth studied Emma for a few moments before he said, "I know you're really tired, but I have a feeling there's something else."
Suggest keeping the action tag and trimming the speech tag above. You don't need both.
"I have a good feeling about it." Seth studied Emma for a few moments. "I know you're really tired, but I have a feeling there's something else."
*
"I heard something at the bakery today. It's gossip(,) so..."
*"What you need to understand is it had nothing to do with you, or me(,) for that matter.
*
After watching Emma's eyes, he added, "Please keep it between us, but her relationship with Elliot was going on long before you ever returned to town."
(optional) - keep action tag, trim speech tag:
He watched Emma's eyes. "Please keep it between us, but her relationship with Elliot was going on long before you ever returned to town."
The dialog enhances characterization well.
Blessings!
rd
Comment Written 21-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2023
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Thank you for dropping by and leaving this helpful feedback.
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:-))
Comment from BethShelby
This was interesting. It seems that Seth alread knew about the gossip that Emma hear and he's calling a meeting to find our what Peggy is up to seeing a man old enough to be her father. It is very kind and carry with Emma. I always look forward to reading this chapters.
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2023
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This was interesting. It seems that Seth alread knew about the gossip that Emma hear and he's calling a meeting to find our what Peggy is up to seeing a man old enough to be her father. It is very kind and carry with Emma. I always look forward to reading this chapters.
Comment Written 21-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2023
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from BethShelby
This was interesting. It seems that Seth alread knew about the gossip that Emma hear and he's calling a meeting to find our what Peggy is up to seeing a man old enough to be her father. It is very kind and carry with Emma. I always look forward to reading this chapters.
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2023
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This was interesting. It seems that Seth alread knew about the gossip that Emma hear and he's calling a meeting to find our what Peggy is up to seeing a man old enough to be her father. It is very kind and carry with Emma. I always look forward to reading this chapters.
Comment Written 21-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2023
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Wendy G
An interesting but weak offering by Peggy Barton for acting "out of character". To me she sounds like a scheming miss and her behaviour with Elliott was in character. (Sorry, I didn't really get the video clip, but didn't see a need for it). Well written chapter.
Wendy
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2023
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An interesting but weak offering by Peggy Barton for acting "out of character". To me she sounds like a scheming miss and her behaviour with Elliott was in character. (Sorry, I didn't really get the video clip, but didn't see a need for it). Well written chapter.
Wendy
Comment Written 21-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2023
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Thank you for the kind review. Peggy is scheming.
Comment from Douglas Goff
Another worthy chapter with much hand touching occurring.
Honest, strong-natured, caring. . . And can cook? Does a man like Seth really exist? Ha!
I liked MariVal's poem about your book. That was a sweet tribute.
Douglas
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2023
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Another worthy chapter with much hand touching occurring.
Honest, strong-natured, caring. . . And can cook? Does a man like Seth really exist? Ha!
I liked MariVal's poem about your book. That was a sweet tribute.
Douglas
Comment Written 21-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2023
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Thank you for the kind review. Yes, she's so kind to write those poems. I appreciate them and have told her I'm using them on the author's pages and giving her credit. As for men really being like that, yes there are some but few. LOL But we can all dream, right?
