Machine Lullabies
Potlatch Poetry Club Submission- an octameter poem11 total reviews
Comment from IAMBardMichael
This is hauntingly beautiful Jess
I think of what must go through a mothers mind during those first few days
The imagery is superb
Flawless meter and very musical, wonderful assonance, and alliteration
The last three lines are especially touching
This poem is great for the soul and a new mother I think you should publish it, and either make a greeting card out of it or a short piece for a mother to purchase or give as a gift to someone who just became a mother this is truly splendid and would move a lot of people thank you for sharing
M
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2023
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This is hauntingly beautiful Jess
I think of what must go through a mothers mind during those first few days
The imagery is superb
Flawless meter and very musical, wonderful assonance, and alliteration
The last three lines are especially touching
This poem is great for the soul and a new mother I think you should publish it, and either make a greeting card out of it or a short piece for a mother to purchase or give as a gift to someone who just became a mother this is truly splendid and would move a lot of people thank you for sharing
M
Comment Written 22-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2023
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That means the world to me. Thank you so much for this kind and encouraging review.
Xoxo
Jessica
Comment from Bill Schott
This octameter, Machine Lullabies, presented with two formatted octaves, presents a look at this birthing area where life and death sometimes depend on machines.
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This octameter, Machine Lullabies, presented with two formatted octaves, presents a look at this birthing area where life and death sometimes depend on machines.
Comment Written 20-Sep-2023
Comment from lyenochka
Was your little Camryn born a preemie? Lovely picture of you and how wonderful that your little miracle won his fight to cope. But he was soothed by your lullabies sung along with the machine's hums. Beautiful!
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2023
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Was your little Camryn born a preemie? Lovely picture of you and how wonderful that your little miracle won his fight to cope. But he was soothed by your lullabies sung along with the machine's hums. Beautiful!
Comment Written 18-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2023
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Thank you so much for your kind words. Camryn is a true miracle. She was just about full term, but she endured trauma at birth due to my placental abruption. I?m working on writing her story now; it took almost seven years, but I'm finally ready to share it! lol She is a true gift from God.
Xo
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I'm so looking forward to your story about Camryn! I was a preemie, too, so I root for all preemies! But every birth is a miracle!
Comment from Jim Wile
What a precious poem and a precious picture of you and your baby daughter in the NICU, Jess. I'm sure that was a harrowing time for you and for all families that have a young one in there.
This is a neat poem structure that lent itself well to your poem, and I really enjoyed it. - Jim
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2023
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What a precious poem and a precious picture of you and your baby daughter in the NICU, Jess. I'm sure that was a harrowing time for you and for all families that have a young one in there.
This is a neat poem structure that lent itself well to your poem, and I really enjoyed it. - Jim
Comment Written 18-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2023
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Thank you, my friend. I've been working on her story, will post soon. It only took seven years (lol) but I'm finally ready to share it.
She's a thriving, spunky and healthy little girl today- a truly unexplainable miracle, considering. And a big fan of the meter man! So? she's smart, too. ;)
Xo
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Great! I look forward to it.
Comment from Sally Law
Oh my goodness! Your poems make me weep! What angels carried Camryn Kelly through to life. As her loving mother, your the angel of the highest order! What a gift to read this. Life is so precious, isn't it?
Sending you my best today and love and blessings to you all.
Sal XOs
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2023
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Oh my goodness! Your poems make me weep! What angels carried Camryn Kelly through to life. As her loving mother, your the angel of the highest order! What a gift to read this. Life is so precious, isn't it?
Sending you my best today and love and blessings to you all.
Sal XOs
Comment Written 18-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2023
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Thank you, my Sally! She is my gift from God and the miracle that restored my faith ❤️
Xoxox
Jess
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You're most welcome! I'm blessed to read this. Thank the Lord! Sal XOs
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I had a so. In neonatal care for 37 horrible days. Unfortunately, Michael never came home. You poem expressed the strong emotions mothers have in that situation. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2023
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I had a so. In neonatal care for 37 horrible days. Unfortunately, Michael never came home. You poem expressed the strong emotions mothers have in that situation. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 18-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2023
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Barbara, I'm so incredibly sorry. Camryn was there for 32 days. Her life-threatening issues continued for several months after that. Today, she is thriving which is unexplainable, considering. She restored my faith, but I will never forget and still keep in touch with the NICU mothers I met during that time. Two of which lost their little angels. It isn't fair and my heart is with you, as is your son Michael. Your strength is an inspiration. Xo
Comment from John Ciarmello
Hello, Jessica!
This is beautiful! Nothing is more gracious to the eyes than a mother with her child after their birth.
I express their birth as I believe, as did my wife that there is not only a child's birth but a bit of parenthood. I loved this one! Best, JohnC
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2023
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Hello, Jessica!
This is beautiful! Nothing is more gracious to the eyes than a mother with her child after their birth.
I express their birth as I believe, as did my wife that there is not only a child's birth but a bit of parenthood. I loved this one! Best, JohnC
Comment Written 18-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2023
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Thank you so much, John. I am so grateful for your kind words!
Xo
Jessica
Comment from Debi Pick Marquette
And of course it makes complete sense that this is something else we have in common. My heart is just that much fuller for you, as it pains me to know that you too have been thru this horrible ordeal of not knowing whether your sweet baby would survive. A mother's heart is the biggest heart there is, especially at a time like this..... Thankfully you received the great reward of a beautiful baby.
Your poem is lovely, very touching and heartfelt. My heart felt it so much in fact that the tears don't want to stop. God bless you and your sweet little miracle girl.
Camryn's a lucky girl to have such a wonderful mother like you.
I also love the structure and format of the poem, and the photo of the two of you is precious and priceless!!
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2023
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And of course it makes complete sense that this is something else we have in common. My heart is just that much fuller for you, as it pains me to know that you too have been thru this horrible ordeal of not knowing whether your sweet baby would survive. A mother's heart is the biggest heart there is, especially at a time like this..... Thankfully you received the great reward of a beautiful baby.
Your poem is lovely, very touching and heartfelt. My heart felt it so much in fact that the tears don't want to stop. God bless you and your sweet little miracle girl.
Camryn's a lucky girl to have such a wonderful mother like you.
I also love the structure and format of the poem, and the photo of the two of you is precious and priceless!!
Comment Written 18-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2023
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We are so connected. Knowing you is a true blessing. I'm so grateful for your words my Debi, thank you!!!!! Xoxoxo
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
These are tenuous moments when a baby is vulnerable and with care and nurturing they can survive and become healthy and your fine form brings the tension and urgency with those short lines, is that you and your baby in the picture? Much enjoyed Jessica, love Dolly x x x
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2023
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These are tenuous moments when a baby is vulnerable and with care and nurturing they can survive and become healthy and your fine form brings the tension and urgency with those short lines, is that you and your baby in the picture? Much enjoyed Jessica, love Dolly x x x
Comment Written 18-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2023
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Thank you so much, Dolly. Yes that is me and my daughter :)
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It is such a beautiful photograph Jessica x
Comment from JSD
Aww. Beautiful picture and beautiful poem. The rhyme is carefully handled and adds to the rather mesmeric tone of your writing. Well done for so successfully conveying this incredible moment in your life.
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Aww. Beautiful picture and beautiful poem. The rhyme is carefully handled and adds to the rather mesmeric tone of your writing. Well done for so successfully conveying this incredible moment in your life.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 18-Sep-2023
