Sex Brulee
Addictions and Beautiful Desserts31 total reviews
Comment from nomi338
Rather than physically attacking the man for being who he already told her he was, why not just leave the situation. She may very well regret his angry actions in time. She must obviously care enough to be hurt and angry. Trying to destroy him may make he feel good for now, but when she has lost him for good, how will she then feel?
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2023
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Rather than physically attacking the man for being who he already told her he was, why not just leave the situation. She may very well regret his angry actions in time. She must obviously care enough to be hurt and angry. Trying to destroy him may make he feel good for now, but when she has lost him for good, how will she then feel?
Comment Written 07-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2023
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Wrathful impulses ruin lives - what I wanted to say.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
This is quite a story here Bruce, I did enjoy the description of the delicious dessert as it had my tastebuds buzzing, but then we move onto this awful scene of betrayal as this man is addicted to sex and has no loyal bones in his body. At least he is getting a story out of it, ha ha ha. Inventive and entertaining write, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2023
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This is quite a story here Bruce, I did enjoy the description of the delicious dessert as it had my tastebuds buzzing, but then we move onto this awful scene of betrayal as this man is addicted to sex and has no loyal bones in his body. At least he is getting a story out of it, ha ha ha. Inventive and entertaining write, love Dolly x
Comment Written 07-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2023
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I keep getting the on-point feedback around "show, don't tell" from FS' best and I made it my personal mission to finally start incorporating it in my stories. I hate deserts but I'd eat that creme brulee and I have nothing but appreciation that you'd too.Thank you dearly for your time, Dolly.
Comment from Ric Myworld
Life is a multifaceted endeavor, so many elements of truth, lies, and a swirl of twisted flavors. Nothing being truly as it seems. And those of us always searching for thrills of adventure, liking the added surprise of not knowing. :-) Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2023
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Life is a multifaceted endeavor, so many elements of truth, lies, and a swirl of twisted flavors. Nothing being truly as it seems. And those of us always searching for thrills of adventure, liking the added surprise of not knowing. :-) Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 07-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2023
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One could make a bible based on your reviews, Ric.
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What a polite way to say I'm full of shit. :-)
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Don't go fishing now. I ain;t gonna bite. You have my worms in your mailbox. We're all bullshiters and we all love it. Sending my absolute best to my best.
Comment from karenina
You have an edgy style. It's quite addictive, actually. I intuitively sense you are leading me somewhere dark and yet I can't resist the journey! (A sign of a great writer, in my opinion.) Best of luck to you in the "Furious Fiction contest." A collection of your short stories would be most compelling!
Karenina
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2023
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You have an edgy style. It's quite addictive, actually. I intuitively sense you are leading me somewhere dark and yet I can't resist the journey! (A sign of a great writer, in my opinion.) Best of luck to you in the "Furious Fiction contest." A collection of your short stories would be most compelling!
Karenina
Comment Written 07-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2023
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It's just my disgusting character that leads you to dark places, no matter how pure the story is. Thank you dearly, Karenina.
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Oh. Geez. The husband was, in fact, a less-than-likable character... I confess to enjoying his demise!
(Your character, however, seems to be just fine!)
Smiling here...
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
Well, you certainly packed a full story into your 500 words, action, emotion and a solid background were all present in abundance, with a wonderful twist in the tail. The short story was well balanced and well paced, and I only saw a single SPAG. I will be very interested to see how this gets on in the AWC contest, and wish you all the best with it. kay
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2023
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Well, you certainly packed a full story into your 500 words, action, emotion and a solid background were all present in abundance, with a wonderful twist in the tail. The short story was well balanced and well paced, and I only saw a single SPAG. I will be very interested to see how this gets on in the AWC contest, and wish you all the best with it. kay
Comment Written 07-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2023
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Now that's the review I've been waiting for. It's ambigous, it tells me nothing, and I I note the exceptional rating but I want more, Auntie ( singaporean way to call your elders).
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See PM, and sorry it's badlt entitled. I wasn't thinking straight. k
Comment from Spitfire
I'm thinking the dessert is a symbol of Lorenzo's sexual life. The cinnamon sticks could represent--never mind. LOL He's a loser where his wife is concerned. I love the last two lines where he utilizes reality to create a novella and make a comeback.
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2023
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I'm thinking the dessert is a symbol of Lorenzo's sexual life. The cinnamon sticks could represent--never mind. LOL He's a loser where his wife is concerned. I love the last two lines where he utilizes reality to create a novella and make a comeback.
Comment Written 07-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2023
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Brulee means burnt / to burn, in french. The rest I leave to the readers. Thank you dearly for taking the time to read & letting me know of your thoughts.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
You have to sympathise with Emma, it's not nice being taken to a lovely restaurant and seeing another of her husbands pieces on the side. I'd have done the same thing. Even when he's laying there dying, he's thinking of how this would work in his next book, not how he's hurt his wife. Good luck in the Australian Writers contest! :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2023
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You have to sympathise with Emma, it's not nice being taken to a lovely restaurant and seeing another of her husbands pieces on the side. I'd have done the same thing. Even when he's laying there dying, he's thinking of how this would work in his next book, not how he's hurt his wife. Good luck in the Australian Writers contest! :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 07-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2023
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I love your acknowledgement of how big of an asshole Lorenzo was - that was the main point in creating the character. The hard part being putting a subtle coat around it. Thank you for your time, Sandra.
Comment from Ulla
Hi Bruce. I liked this very much up to a point. Two thirds is so very well written and I was both impressed and caught up in the classic tale of infidelity and a wife scorned. The only thing I find hard to believe is the falling off the seat. A plate of creme brulee in your face wouldn't do that when your already sitting. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2023
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Hi Bruce. I liked this very much up to a point. Two thirds is so very well written and I was both impressed and caught up in the classic tale of infidelity and a wife scorned. The only thing I find hard to believe is the falling off the seat. A plate of creme brulee in your face wouldn't do that when your already sitting. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 07-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2023
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My humble-humble side thanks you for being kind enough to read it and letting me know of your thoughts. My realistic & experienced side tells me you were never hit with creme brulee plate in the face. Chair is no guarantee of gravity, Ulla. Sending my love, Bruce.
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No, you are right about that. I've never been hit by a creme brulee plate in my face. I'll have to take your words for it. Hehe. Ulla:)))
Comment from Thesis
I enjoyed the was Lorenzo was able to distract himself during Emma's onslaught of accusations and rage. The violence with the plate seemed a little awkward though. I think most women would have just stabbed him.
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2023
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I enjoyed the was Lorenzo was able to distract himself during Emma's onslaught of accusations and rage. The violence with the plate seemed a little awkward though. I think most women would have just stabbed him.
Comment Written 07-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2023
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Men wouldn't be able to. I consulted this with my significant other - she agreed that the most impulsive way was the Creme Brulee. Thank you for taking the time to read & feedback.
Comment from Douglas Goff
Oh goodness. Sordid nasty affair it seems.
Fixes:
Stop it, of course not." Lorenzo replied, raising his head from the carefully arranged crème
(Replied is a speech tag so comma after the word not instead of a period).
Also:
"You are not doing this right now," Emma recognized her husband mentally
(No speech tag so period instead of comma after the word now)
Minor dialogue issues. Great writing!
D
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2023
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Oh goodness. Sordid nasty affair it seems.
Fixes:
Stop it, of course not." Lorenzo replied, raising his head from the carefully arranged crème
(Replied is a speech tag so comma after the word not instead of a period).
Also:
"You are not doing this right now," Emma recognized her husband mentally
(No speech tag so period instead of comma after the word now)
Minor dialogue issues. Great writing!
D
Comment Written 07-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2023
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Still learning with a long road ahead. Thank you kindly for reading and letting me know, Douglas. Sending my best.