before the blood falls
My idea of the coming of sorrows.6 total reviews
Comment from Enrico Langfordino
In my uneducated manner I must read and read again 2, and then, I like what I read. I don't find it an easy poem to understand but on repetitive reading it's growing on me. Keep up the good work. I am scanning your portfolio.
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2023
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In my uneducated manner I must read and read again 2, and then, I like what I read. I don't find it an easy poem to understand but on repetitive reading it's growing on me. Keep up the good work. I am scanning your portfolio.
Comment Written 07-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2023
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thank you
Comment from Lea Tonin1
You speak of fundamental things like changing personality, heartache, emotional growth and life altering events. If you will, your eggs and pains are going to a relationship, it makes it hard to go out into the fray. I think your third stanza is the best, and it carries the answer. Maybe not the one we want, but the 1 we need.
Having said that, your poem is very well written, you have magical word choices and a special way of putting those words together. I find it's grammar is without error and it's aesthetically pleasing. I wish you best luck, thanks, have a great day!
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2023
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You speak of fundamental things like changing personality, heartache, emotional growth and life altering events. If you will, your eggs and pains are going to a relationship, it makes it hard to go out into the fray. I think your third stanza is the best, and it carries the answer. Maybe not the one we want, but the 1 we need.
Having said that, your poem is very well written, you have magical word choices and a special way of putting those words together. I find it's grammar is without error and it's aesthetically pleasing. I wish you best luck, thanks, have a great day!
Comment Written 05-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2023
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thank you very much. I'll see you next write up...smile.
Comment from jim vecchio
It was a pleasure to lend an er to this inspired poem, complimented by a very appropriate photo. I hesitate to mention this, as your words and meaning ar3e perfect, but in that second line, did you want an exclamation point after "did not"?
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2023
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It was a pleasure to lend an er to this inspired poem, complimented by a very appropriate photo. I hesitate to mention this, as your words and meaning ar3e perfect, but in that second line, did you want an exclamation point after "did not"?
Comment Written 05-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2023
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I looked at what you pointed out and yes I wanted to shout ,I did not! To the masses. Thank you for your review.
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Thank you from someone who is the king of Typos!
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
This is a dark and poignant verse about some kind of second coming, a reversal of all that's been and a punishment perhaps for those who haven't learned the lessons of life. Whether it's a global phenomenon or an individual's premonition it's not clear but there is a sense of irreversible hopelessness in this verse with is quite unsettling and haunting. I would take out those mid-sentence exclamation marks and put capitals 'I' s. Also 4th stanza - ...life (to) be... But an interesting and evocative verse. Well done! Debbie
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2023
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This is a dark and poignant verse about some kind of second coming, a reversal of all that's been and a punishment perhaps for those who haven't learned the lessons of life. Whether it's a global phenomenon or an individual's premonition it's not clear but there is a sense of irreversible hopelessness in this verse with is quite unsettling and haunting. I would take out those mid-sentence exclamation marks and put capitals 'I' s. Also 4th stanza - ...life (to) be... But an interesting and evocative verse. Well done! Debbie
Comment Written 05-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2023
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Thank you for your ideas DD, I'ill try that. Have a great day!
Comment from Sanku
Very often our guilt is exaggerated by our own mind and we feel doomed .I have often felt that I am unlucky and that my efforts were not being rewarded ..but then others were better than me!
The confusion is clearly etched in your lines... I am sure with some help from above this would soon get cleared...
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2023
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Very often our guilt is exaggerated by our own mind and we feel doomed .I have often felt that I am unlucky and that my efforts were not being rewarded ..but then others were better than me!
The confusion is clearly etched in your lines... I am sure with some help from above this would soon get cleared...
Comment Written 05-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2023
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Thank you for your time. I appreciate it very much.
Comment from JSD
Some really complex ideas enunciated here in an engaging and interesting poem. I like the four rhymes at the end particularly, rounding the poem off. Great effort. Thank you for sharing this with the readers.
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2023
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Some really complex ideas enunciated here in an engaging and interesting poem. I like the four rhymes at the end particularly, rounding the poem off. Great effort. Thank you for sharing this with the readers.
Comment Written 05-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2023
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Thank you JSD. Always good to hear from you.
