One Thousand Cranes
Viewing comments for Chapter 300 "Be Gentle With My Heart"Gypsy's Favorites
10 total reviews
Comment from Jumbo J
Hi MariVal,
you know there are never the amount of exceptional stars to reward such a courageous pouring of one's soul as you have performed so heart wrenchingly perfect within this free verse poem.
Everyone loves the fairy tale story with its fluffy soft edges and the perfect smooth surface... but we both know only too well, not many individuals actually attain such an existence.
The thing is... do we really know the reasons behind our experiences, good or bad? Are they designed to allow our soul the opportunity to grow us spiritually, or are they the acts of the ignorant... the souls who haven't evolved, who come in contact with a lost soul in need of a genuine love, an easy target so to speak?
The way in which you set this powerfully written poem up with such a vulnerability and tenderness sucks me right into what's to come.
Even though I was a big guy, I was shy and reserved and was also bullied, threatened and set upon. Never just one person though, usually four or more... and it took a lot before I exploded and hurt some of these small-minded bullies... but when I did, It scared me to what lived underneath and within the shy-awkward country boy. So I guess without the proper guidance, whether that be parents, or mentors, we don't learn or know the worth of self love... of self worth, and how being trapped in a perpetual cycle of feeling, not quite good enough, somehow lacking, due to the aftermath and hangover of the bad experiences we suffer as children... how it blows over into our teenage years and into adulthood.
I applaud you with all my heart as you let go through the catharsis of writing and composing your thoughts with such candour... all the things I read between the lines are as powerful as the ones I read on the page.
Everyone has a backstory... what shapes them, how it shapes them. Your hard knocks are the path to the smooth-silky textures to what can be achieved through personal growth.
Of course it hurts my heart to know the pain and torment caused by such a life... but it makes also makes me proud in a sense to know how much you have risen above your adversities despite all you have endured.
Where were you
when my knees bled
over broken glass.
Where indeed!
I think it's all wrapped up in your last line so succinctly...
The way I deserved.
Bravo, Reina Lobo Gitana... a call to those who need your strength.
The power of the She-Wolf!
With our thoughts we create...
strength in resolve.
Warm regards,
James.
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2023
  |
Hi MariVal,
you know there are never the amount of exceptional stars to reward such a courageous pouring of one's soul as you have performed so heart wrenchingly perfect within this free verse poem.
Everyone loves the fairy tale story with its fluffy soft edges and the perfect smooth surface... but we both know only too well, not many individuals actually attain such an existence.
The thing is... do we really know the reasons behind our experiences, good or bad? Are they designed to allow our soul the opportunity to grow us spiritually, or are they the acts of the ignorant... the souls who haven't evolved, who come in contact with a lost soul in need of a genuine love, an easy target so to speak?
The way in which you set this powerfully written poem up with such a vulnerability and tenderness sucks me right into what's to come.
Even though I was a big guy, I was shy and reserved and was also bullied, threatened and set upon. Never just one person though, usually four or more... and it took a lot before I exploded and hurt some of these small-minded bullies... but when I did, It scared me to what lived underneath and within the shy-awkward country boy. So I guess without the proper guidance, whether that be parents, or mentors, we don't learn or know the worth of self love... of self worth, and how being trapped in a perpetual cycle of feeling, not quite good enough, somehow lacking, due to the aftermath and hangover of the bad experiences we suffer as children... how it blows over into our teenage years and into adulthood.
I applaud you with all my heart as you let go through the catharsis of writing and composing your thoughts with such candour... all the things I read between the lines are as powerful as the ones I read on the page.
Everyone has a backstory... what shapes them, how it shapes them. Your hard knocks are the path to the smooth-silky textures to what can be achieved through personal growth.
Of course it hurts my heart to know the pain and torment caused by such a life... but it makes also makes me proud in a sense to know how much you have risen above your adversities despite all you have endured.
Where were you
when my knees bled
over broken glass.
Where indeed!
I think it's all wrapped up in your last line so succinctly...
The way I deserved.
Bravo, Reina Lobo Gitana... a call to those who need your strength.
The power of the She-Wolf!
With our thoughts we create...
strength in resolve.
Warm regards,
James.
Comment Written 17-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2023
-
Thank you, James, you made me cry. You have such a deep understanding of what this poem is about and you have such honest empathy that only comes from a kindred spirit, someone who has experience the same obstacles in some ways. I really appreciate your wonderful and kind review.
Even though I had a hard life, I don't have any regrets. The challenges have made me who I am and from failed marriages, I got my beautiful children and grandchildren... the best part of my life.
You will never know how much your kind words mean to me. Only a few people reviewed this poem. I think it's too 'real' but that is who I am for better or for worse. I am strong, resilient, and honest. I don't care about the number of reviews, what matters to me is who will read it and see themselves in my words. I had a few like that but yours is the best. Thank you, James.
ps. One of the reviewers was a rape victim that could identify and the poem had touched her deeply. She is thinking about starting a women's club for a place where women can share 'real' stories and support each other. I'm going to help her with the club. I am excited. :)
Gypsy hugs
Don't be afraid to be real, wear your war scars with pride, because you survived.
So many women have fallen foul of men who have a need to control... I know, I was indoctrinated to believe men had different rights. How ignorant, how wrong! I'm so glad I woke up early on and started to erase the patterns of so-called nurture.
That sounds more than perfect MariVal... like it is meant to be. When excitement arouses the whole of you, tingles your senses in every way, which I feel it is.. then you know for sure you are on the right path. I feel like I want to be a part of it, but I know that is just me and my 'knight in shining' armour syndrome wanting to be there, wanting to console with all the beautiful women who will flock to this club. I guess I just adhere more to the company of women. But I know this should be a safe place shared by only women, I respect that.
Go forth and heal... stories, feelings, trapped emotion need a vent, I'm sure this club will be just that. My heart goes with you and to the many who are lucky enough to see its light.
Oh, I will never be afraid to be my authentic self, to wear every scar(visible and hidden) with a sense of pride and achievement... yes, because I survived, but more so because I learned to thrive from the life lessons given.
Jumbo hugs!
Comment from Mary Vigasin
This is so sad and haunting. It happens so often to young girls so desperately looking for love.
This is just my opinion.I fell the last stanza is awkward when reading. Would this be better?
"You could not give me the lasting love, I needed and deserved.???????"
Remember I am not a poet.
Mary
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2023
|
This is so sad and haunting. It happens so often to young girls so desperately looking for love.
This is just my opinion.I fell the last stanza is awkward when reading. Would this be better?
"You could not give me the lasting love, I needed and deserved.???????"
Remember I am not a poet.
Mary
Comment Written 17-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2023
-
Thank you, Mary. I appreciate you. Have a great evening.
gypsy hugs
Comment from barbara.wilkey
This is another OUCH poem. Unfortunately, it happens way too often in the US and I'm guessing around the world. I wish there was some way we could protect our young girls better. I have no idea what that would be.
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2023
|
This is another OUCH poem. Unfortunately, it happens way too often in the US and I'm guessing around the world. I wish there was some way we could protect our young girls better. I have no idea what that would be.
Comment Written 16-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2023
-
Thank you very much, Barbara. I appreciate your review and empathy for this sad issue. Have a wonderful weekend.
Gypsy
Comment from aryr
This was a wonderful free verse, Gypsy. The dual pictures were so appropriate for your words, they showed anger, frustration and the lack of love. Very well done and sadly yet greatly enjoyed. Blessed Be n Hugs!!!
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2023
 |
This was a wonderful free verse, Gypsy. The dual pictures were so appropriate for your words, they showed anger, frustration and the lack of love. Very well done and sadly yet greatly enjoyed. Blessed Be n Hugs!!!
Comment Written 16-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2023
-
Aryr,
Thank you very much for your time, exceptional six stars review, and helpfull feedback. Have a wonderful weekend. Blessed be.
Gypsy hugs
-
You are so welcome, Gypsy.
Comment from shelley kaye
aw this was so sad... but you have your daughter - the 2 of you against the world!
wonderfully flowing free verse
thank you for sharing
shelley :)
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2023
|
aw this was so sad... but you have your daughter - the 2 of you against the world!
wonderfully flowing free verse
thank you for sharing
shelley :)
Comment Written 16-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2023
-
Thank you very much for your time, kind review, and helpfull feedback. Have a wonderful weekend.
Gypsy hugs
Comment from AP Apgar
I like your free verse poem- excellent picture presentation- of a broken young girl- all to common- my sister too- then her daughter also - grandmother taking her child to raise (daughter 15)
Rocks rocks rocks- poem says it perfectly- well done- only thing to suggest is : "through the aisle" think "down the aisle" ? Common vernacular- Excellent job- AP
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2023
|
I like your free verse poem- excellent picture presentation- of a broken young girl- all to common- my sister too- then her daughter also - grandmother taking her child to raise (daughter 15)
Rocks rocks rocks- poem says it perfectly- well done- only thing to suggest is : "through the aisle" think "down the aisle" ? Common vernacular- Excellent job- AP
Comment Written 15-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2023
-
Thank you, AP, I really appreciate your help. I wasn?t sure how to write it. English is a challenge sometimes. Spanish is my first language but I have been here most of my life.
Gypsy hugs
-
No worries - glad to help - wish I could speak two languages- hug
Comment from lyenochka
That's a horrible tragedy and too many women have suffered. I know a number of ladies here on Fanstory who wrote about abusive family and husbands. Sometimes the patterns of feeling unloved lead to unloving relationships.
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2023
|
That's a horrible tragedy and too many women have suffered. I know a number of ladies here on Fanstory who wrote about abusive family and husbands. Sometimes the patterns of feeling unloved lead to unloving relationships.
Comment Written 15-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2023
-
I thought I was the only one. Writing helps. Thank you for your insightful review.
Love,
Marival
Comment from Alexandra Trovato
The first feeling I felt after I read this was to tell you that, although my father was a great father and he was always there for me and the family, at 18 I was raped by a boy at school and I ended up having such feelings that were so bad not reflecting the strength for my family. The hirt and shame from that destroyed my soul, I gave up my fine art major my soul, because I didn't feel worthy of good things anymore, which stayed with me through the rest of my life, I distanced from family and I've had problems with confidence and self esteem. Not because of my father, but another father who raised the violent boy who overpowered me.
I went on to be married to someone else who was abusive to me and only 30 years after leaving him would I meet somebody who actually was good to me and respects me. I began with a good father and when I read your poems I can feel your pain. Someone's selfishness stole parts of me and the life I deserved better, too.
I can relate to thar sentiment in your poem. I honestly feel that women should share and relate with each other because although there will be differences, I believe there's even more thar we could offer to each other as far as empathy, emotional support, and validation Beautiful, real, and powerful poem, Gypsy. When I read your poems I feel so strongly for you and I really hope that you know that you're very special and that your father is missing something inside of him m whether he knows it or not, because he's lost time with you. There's something inside of him that was weak and that's the part that you don't have. you're a strong person you didn't develop the weakness that he has. With honesty, peace and friendship, Alex :))
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2023
|
The first feeling I felt after I read this was to tell you that, although my father was a great father and he was always there for me and the family, at 18 I was raped by a boy at school and I ended up having such feelings that were so bad not reflecting the strength for my family. The hirt and shame from that destroyed my soul, I gave up my fine art major my soul, because I didn't feel worthy of good things anymore, which stayed with me through the rest of my life, I distanced from family and I've had problems with confidence and self esteem. Not because of my father, but another father who raised the violent boy who overpowered me.
I went on to be married to someone else who was abusive to me and only 30 years after leaving him would I meet somebody who actually was good to me and respects me. I began with a good father and when I read your poems I can feel your pain. Someone's selfishness stole parts of me and the life I deserved better, too.
I can relate to thar sentiment in your poem. I honestly feel that women should share and relate with each other because although there will be differences, I believe there's even more thar we could offer to each other as far as empathy, emotional support, and validation Beautiful, real, and powerful poem, Gypsy. When I read your poems I feel so strongly for you and I really hope that you know that you're very special and that your father is missing something inside of him m whether he knows it or not, because he's lost time with you. There's something inside of him that was weak and that's the part that you don't have. you're a strong person you didn't develop the weakness that he has. With honesty, peace and friendship, Alex :))
Comment Written 15-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2023
-
I was an advocate of victims of rape for two years. It was a rewarding and challenging job. I was on call for 24 hours in shifts. I would calls to meet victims (survivors) at the hospital so I could be there during the police interview and doctors exams. I also provided peer-counseling you read it, that's enough for me. Thank you for sharing your story. I'm sorry it happened to you. I agree with you, a lot of women have stories to tell and there's healing. I wonder if we could star a club of women stories through poetry...I'll think about it.
Thank you, Alex.
Big hugs!
Gypsy (marival)
-
Thank you for having been an advocate! Advocates were the people who helped me 30 years ago, when I got the courage to leave my violent ex husband and save my and mh daughters life. :)) Alex
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
There are those in life who disappoint us and don't meet our expectations and when we need them most they disappear, I have known a partner like this and it took me a while to shake them off. I could identify with these words, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2023
|
There are those in life who disappoint us and don't meet our expectations and when we need them most they disappear, I have known a partner like this and it took me a while to shake them off. I could identify with these words, love Dolly x
Comment Written 15-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2023
-
Thank you very much for your time, kind review, and helpfull feedback.
Gypsy hugs
Comment from royowen
As a dad I always wanted a good man to marry my girls, and be happy that I gave them away with confidence, knowing they'd be cared for. So this makes me sad, knowing that some don't have that benefit, this is so well written Gypsy, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2023
|
As a dad I always wanted a good man to marry my girls, and be happy that I gave them away with confidence, knowing they'd be cared for. So this makes me sad, knowing that some don't have that benefit, this is so well written Gypsy, blessings Roy
Comment Written 15-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2023
-
Roy,
Thank you very much for sharing your thoughts with me. You sound like a great father. Your daughters are lucky to have you.
Thank for your time, kind review, and helpfull feedback.
Gypsy hugs
-
Bless you Gypsy.
