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One Thousand Cranes

Viewing comments for Chapter 295 "The Sound of Falling Leaves"
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8 total reviews 
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Excellent
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You painted a beautiful picture of nature with your words. I could hear, smell, touch, and see the scene play out perfectly in my mind. Thank you for sharing this beautiful poem with us.

 Comment Written 15-Jun-2023


reply by the author on 15-Jun-2023
    Thank you, Barbara, I appreciate your kind review. Have a wonderful day.

    Gypsy hugs
Comment from shelley kaye
Excellent
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i love the sound of wind and rain and dried leaves dancing on the walk...
a great zen haiku!

"folded between scent" - i read this 4 times, kept tripping... maybe "THE scent" of "scentS"?
or it could be just me lol

thank you for sharing!
shelley :)




 Comment Written 15-Jun-2023


reply by the author on 15-Jun-2023
    Thank you, Shelley, I appreciate your kind review and feedback. Have a wonderful day.

    Gypsy hugs
Comment from AP Apgar
Excellent
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I like your zen poem- nice picture presentation- good syllable count - paints a soft picture of nature - good satori - moves mountains- suggest- drizzling? No such thing as drizzle rain? Won't effect syllable count- Good Job
AP

 Comment Written 15-Jun-2023


reply by the author on 15-Jun-2023
    Thank you for taking the time to read and review my poem. It appreciate your help with grammar. Have a wonderful day.

    Gypsy hugs
Comment from LateBloomer
Excellent
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Hi Gypsy, this is a poem that I can relate to. My home is surrounded by trees and pines trees. Today we had a bad rainstorm and hail, so we had our share of falling leaves in the rain. Your poem reads and flow well and has good imagery within. Of special note:

the sound
of falling leaves
and drizzle rain

(I can see it; I can hear it. Good sensory appeal)

Great photo choice. Well done. A pleasure to read. Xo. M

 Comment Written 15-Jun-2023


reply by the author on 15-Jun-2023
    Haiku and other Japanese poetry is very visual poetry. I'm glad you can relate to it.

    Thank you very much for your time, kind review, and helpfull feedback.

    Gypsy hugs
Comment from aryr
Excellent
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This was indeed a great Zen Haiku and Katauta, Gypsy. The dual pictures were simply awesome with the rain, the river and the pine needles. Your words indeed spoke the words of your voice. Blessed Be n Hugs!!!

 Comment Written 14-Jun-2023


reply by the author on 14-Jun-2023
    Thank you very much for your time, kind review, and helpfull feedback. Blessed be.

    Gypsy hugs
reply by aryr on 14-Jun-2023
    Most welcome, Gypsy.
Comment from Jumbo J
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hi MariVal,
ah, where my soul lives... in the life surrounded by the elements of nature.

You painted this beautiful Zen Haiku and Katauta with deft strokes... firstly within the actual feeling of. The sensation of... and the knowing of.

So skilfully paired to create this magic scene in mind's eye.
Folded between scent of fall... how delicious!

The slight adjustment to 'river' move mountains gives more power to the vision.

I love it!

As always, masterfully composed and presented.

With our thoughts we create...
the connection to nature's gifts.

Warm regards,
James.

 Comment Written 14-Jun-2023


reply by the author on 14-Jun-2023
    My dear friend,

    Thank you for the exceptional six stars and detailed review. As always, you know exactly what I mean and feel. I'm so greatful for your time and intuition.

    Thank you for your helpful feedback ... I changed it to river, it sounds better.

    I hope you and Jade are well.

    Besitos y abrazos

    Gypsy Queen
    "Allow nature's peace to flow into you as sunshine flows into trees." - John Muir
reply by Jumbo J on 15-Jun-2023
    You didn't have to change it... it was river when I read it. I have a knack of knowing what I mean, but not conveying it clearly... I loved that you had river instead of water, it held more power.
    Yes, Jade and I are on the mend. thank you for caring!
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2023
    You are welcome, I'm happy you are both well. I value your opinion. I always appreciate when readers give me constructive criticism or correct grammar. I have a few reviewers that help me, besides you.

    hugs,

    MariVal
Comment from GWHARGIS
Excellent
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I like this. You brought in the sights and scents of fall. The mention of the pine needles set the scene. This brought the felling of fall. Which is so often associated with the end. Of life of the year. It's was a very meaningful poem. Gretchen

 Comment Written 14-Jun-2023


reply by the author on 14-Jun-2023
    Thank you very much for your time, kind review, and helpfull feedback.

    Gypsy hugs
    "Allow nature's peace to flow into you as sunshine flows into trees." - John Muir
Comment from lyenochka
Excellent
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I really loved "folded between scent of fall" and what a great summary of nature in your ending of "slowly ... rivers move mountains"! If we consider the slow pace of nature compared to human impatience, we'd know that water can move mountains.

 Comment Written 14-Jun-2023


reply by the author on 14-Jun-2023
    Yes! We can learn a lot from nature. Thank you, big sister. Love you. ❤️
    Marival