Angels Unaware
Viewing comments for Chapter 14 "Part II Against All Odds"A Memoir and Love Story
7 total reviews
Comment from Shirley McLain
An excellent story that I enjoyed reading. Cruelty never goes away, but one day when Jesus returns, it will all be gone. You did a great job, and I'm looking forward to more. Have a wonderful Sunday evening. Shirley
reply by the author on 24-May-2023
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An excellent story that I enjoyed reading. Cruelty never goes away, but one day when Jesus returns, it will all be gone. You did a great job, and I'm looking forward to more. Have a wonderful Sunday evening. Shirley
Comment Written 21-May-2023
reply by the author on 24-May-2023
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Thanks again Shirley!
Comment from patcelaw
This story of Mary Ellen almost made me cry because it was pretty much my story as a kid growing up. My mom left home when I was 11 years old to go and try to make a living for my family which my father would not do. As 11 I was the oldest female at home and I took on a lot of the responsibilities of mother at the home. Patricia.
reply by the author on 21-May-2023
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This story of Mary Ellen almost made me cry because it was pretty much my story as a kid growing up. My mom left home when I was 11 years old to go and try to make a living for my family which my father would not do. As 11 I was the oldest female at home and I took on a lot of the responsibilities of mother at the home. Patricia.
Comment Written 21-May-2023
reply by the author on 21-May-2023
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Appreciate your words and the fact that you could identify with Mary.
Comment from LJbutterfly
Written family histories serve as a special legacy to offspring who follow you. Your description of Mary Ella lets us know she had to be a strong young girl, which led to her strength and determination as an adult. I've enjoyed reading this part of your story.
reply by the author on 21-May-2023
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Written family histories serve as a special legacy to offspring who follow you. Your description of Mary Ella lets us know she had to be a strong young girl, which led to her strength and determination as an adult. I've enjoyed reading this part of your story.
Comment Written 21-May-2023
reply by the author on 21-May-2023
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Thanks so much for the review with encouragement. Stan
Comment from royowen
It seems you both had a tyrannically unfair background for any kid to endure, I guess that's what leads one to the alternative, one either follows their childhood background or some find God, or tatter God finds us. This this a great post my friend, blessings Stan, Roy
Typo : not (to) mention snakes.
reply by the author on 21-May-2023
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It seems you both had a tyrannically unfair background for any kid to endure, I guess that's what leads one to the alternative, one either follows their childhood background or some find God, or tatter God finds us. This this a great post my friend, blessings Stan, Roy
Typo : not (to) mention snakes.
Comment Written 21-May-2023
reply by the author on 21-May-2023
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Thanks Roy. I always appreciate your wisdom and kindred partnership, let alone the encouraging review.
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Most welcome
Comment from CrystieCookie999
I liked reading this. It reminded me of the way my grandma used to relate family experiences. A couple of suggestions:
Mary Ella was only nine-years old when her mother locked her and little sis outside the trailer home.
I would say go ahead and spell 'sis' all the way out as 'sister.' It may be just because I am used to how my grandma would call her sister "my sis" to her friends, but I think the audience for this family history may end up being wider than you think.
Also this part:
The wheels in her mothers mind spun out of control.
You need to add an apostrophe so it says: mother's
And also this part:
Mary Ella grabbed her sisters hand and headed off to the neighbor's house a few scratchy fields over, not mention snakes.
I like the idea that fields can be stubbly or scratchy, but the parallelism here isn't quite there. Maybe add apostrophe to sister's hand and try:
Mary Ella grabbed her sister's hand and headed off to the neighbor's house a few fields over, a journey that was dry, hot, and scratchy, along with the possible menace of stray snakes.
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I liked reading this. It reminded me of the way my grandma used to relate family experiences. A couple of suggestions:
Mary Ella was only nine-years old when her mother locked her and little sis outside the trailer home.
I would say go ahead and spell 'sis' all the way out as 'sister.' It may be just because I am used to how my grandma would call her sister "my sis" to her friends, but I think the audience for this family history may end up being wider than you think.
Also this part:
The wheels in her mothers mind spun out of control.
You need to add an apostrophe so it says: mother's
And also this part:
Mary Ella grabbed her sisters hand and headed off to the neighbor's house a few scratchy fields over, not mention snakes.
I like the idea that fields can be stubbly or scratchy, but the parallelism here isn't quite there. Maybe add apostrophe to sister's hand and try:
Mary Ella grabbed her sister's hand and headed off to the neighbor's house a few fields over, a journey that was dry, hot, and scratchy, along with the possible menace of stray snakes.
Comment Written 21-May-2023
Comment from BethShelby
I'm assuming Mary will be the one you end up marrying in this story. After this kind of background, she is bound to become a strong and caring woman. I'm relaly enjoying the story.
reply by the author on 21-May-2023
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I'm assuming Mary will be the one you end up marrying in this story. After this kind of background, she is bound to become a strong and caring woman. I'm relaly enjoying the story.
Comment Written 21-May-2023
reply by the author on 21-May-2023
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Thanks Beth. I had taken sometime to try to give her important background and how best to bring things back together one day. Thanks for the encouragement while trying to make it all blend.
Comment from Ben Colder
Good write as always. I can see this happening. Of course, from being a native here in Arkansas I understand its origin. I have known people who could only read the Bible but nothing else. Blessings, Bro.
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Good write as always. I can see this happening. Of course, from being a native here in Arkansas I understand its origin. I have known people who could only read the Bible but nothing else. Blessings, Bro.
Comment Written 21-May-2023
