Comment from lancellot

Good

Interesting, but I see some issues you may want to examine.

Say the things, with less words.
You repeat the same information over and over.
This brief chapter is all telling.


They did just that. They were due to divide up equally, Abby insisted.

- how does this read-

They did just that. They were due equal shares, Abby insisted.

She didn't have any preconceived idea about how she had conceived it. They all had insurance, they were insured.

- avoid repeating yourself.

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 Comment Written 23-Mar-2023

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reply by the author on 23-Mar-2023

Thank you so much for reading, reviewing and your great comments, I will follow your suggestions.

reply by lancellot on 23-Mar-2023

You're welcome.

reply by lancellot on 23-Mar-2023

You're welcome.

Comment from Julie Lau

Excellent

Hi. This sounds like Abbey is acting out what you would like to do, yes? Me too that's exactly what I'd do with 3m. Trouble is, I don't have the nerve to carry out a heist! All the best, Julie Lau

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 Comment Written 23-Mar-2023

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reply by the author on 23-Mar-2023

Thank you so much for reading, reviewing and your great comments. No, I wouldn't do it!