The Amazing Heist
Viewing comments for Chapter 17 "Abby"A team of six plan their final heist.
12 total reviews
Comment from Liz O'Neill
Abby handled it amazingly well. The reader was waiting for some disturbance, but things went well. Then her dreams could be realized. Is this a foreshadowing? "She could do what ever she wanted to." The ending stream of consciousness draws the reader in: "If Andrew chose not to remain, she would have no choice but his interest would be harmed. She would definitely shut him down."
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2023
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Abby handled it amazingly well. The reader was waiting for some disturbance, but things went well. Then her dreams could be realized. Is this a foreshadowing? "She could do what ever she wanted to." The ending stream of consciousness draws the reader in: "If Andrew chose not to remain, she would have no choice but his interest would be harmed. She would definitely shut him down."
Comment Written 24-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2023
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Thank you for reading, reviewing and your great comments, Liz.
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So are there more chapters coming in the near future?
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Soon, I am working on it!
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cool...cool
Comment from JT traveller
An interesting read. A unique idea of how to spend 3 million dollars too.
There are a couple of redundant words in your writing, such as repeating blueprints twice in quick succession and this paragraph,
"She didn't have any preconceived idea about how she had conceived it. They all had insurance, they were insured."
How about just something simple, "She had no preconceived ideas. They were all insured."
Easily remedied.
Who doesn't enjoy a good heist story?
Best of luck.
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2023
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An interesting read. A unique idea of how to spend 3 million dollars too.
There are a couple of redundant words in your writing, such as repeating blueprints twice in quick succession and this paragraph,
"She didn't have any preconceived idea about how she had conceived it. They all had insurance, they were insured."
How about just something simple, "She had no preconceived ideas. They were all insured."
Easily remedied.
Who doesn't enjoy a good heist story?
Best of luck.
Comment Written 25-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2023
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Thank you so much for reading, reviewing and you wonderful comments, JT Traveller.
Comment from royowen
How interesting a liason, it seems that Abby has Andrew by the proverbial short and curlies, but with three million dollars it seems that one can do what they like. Beautifully written Alie, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2023
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How interesting a liason, it seems that Abby has Andrew by the proverbial short and curlies, but with three million dollars it seems that one can do what they like. Beautifully written Alie, blessings Roy
Comment Written 24-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2023
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Thank you so much, Roy for reading, reviewing and your great comments. Blessings!
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Most welcome
Comment from damommy
Well, now I have to go back and catch up. I don't know how I missed reading this. Probably had a senior moment. Very senior. hahahah. I'd love to have the money, but I'm too scared to steal.
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2023
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Well, now I have to go back and catch up. I don't know how I missed reading this. Probably had a senior moment. Very senior. hahahah. I'd love to have the money, but I'm too scared to steal.
Comment Written 24-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2023
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Thank you so much, damommy for reading, reviewing and your fantastic comments. You don't have to reread any of it, it was in chapter two or three. And I would love to have the money but I don't want it either.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
I think we all have our dreams about what we would do if we came into a large sum of money and I enjoyed this girls simple dream here, your story is inventive and full of fantasy, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2023
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I think we all have our dreams about what we would do if we came into a large sum of money and I enjoyed this girls simple dream here, your story is inventive and full of fantasy, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
Comment Written 24-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2023
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Thank you so much for reading, reviewing and your great comments.
Comment from Pantygynt
This story has been going on for some time now and I have to admit I have lost the thread completely. This fragment stands alone well enough as one factor affecting those involved but why is lost as the result of the context being lost. Sorry.
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2023
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This story has been going on for some time now and I have to admit I have lost the thread completely. This fragment stands alone well enough as one factor affecting those involved but why is lost as the result of the context being lost. Sorry.
Comment Written 24-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2023
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Thank you so much for reading, reviewing and your amazing comments, sorry about that.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Aryr, this chapter is outstanding, a real heist thriller. I was rudding for Abby and at the end she seemed very violent. But that comes with the territory. Well done!
Blessed be.
Gypsy hugs
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2023
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Aryr, this chapter is outstanding, a real heist thriller. I was rudding for Abby and at the end she seemed very violent. But that comes with the territory. Well done!
Blessed be.
Gypsy hugs
Comment Written 24-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2023
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Thank you so much, Gypsy for reading, reviewing and your great comments.
Comment from poetwatch
A little extra money never hurt anybody, Alie. :) With the way things are going I say $3,000,000 more or less would fit the bill. Yet, money changes people for better to worst. This ain't bad, Alie. You could join the what ever together and make it whatever. In this line omit "they were insured." you already said they had insurance. I'll be waiting for Sally and Billy. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2023
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A little extra money never hurt anybody, Alie. :) With the way things are going I say $3,000,000 more or less would fit the bill. Yet, money changes people for better to worst. This ain't bad, Alie. You could join the what ever together and make it whatever. In this line omit "they were insured." you already said they had insurance. I'll be waiting for Sally and Billy. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 23-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2023
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Thank you so much, Jose, for reading, reviewing and your fantastic comments.
Comment from lyenochka
Thank you for continuing the story! It sounds like an epilogue of what happened to everyone after the heist. I remember Abby as she's the brains of the operation but I guess I don't remember Andrew as well. So I'm missing the key relationship between Abby and Andrew. Hope it works out.
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2023
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Thank you for continuing the story! It sounds like an epilogue of what happened to everyone after the heist. I remember Abby as she's the brains of the operation but I guess I don't remember Andrew as well. So I'm missing the key relationship between Abby and Andrew. Hope it works out.
Comment Written 23-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2023
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Thank you so much, Helen, for reading, reviewing and your amazing comments, I think Andrew was in the second or third chapter. He was a wire sculpture.
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Ah. I remember a sculptor but I had forgotten his relationship to Abby.
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Ahaaa, you remembered.
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
The story here is an interesting one, told concisely. However, you have repeated redundancies in the text that lead to a stilted flow. If you could deal with this problem, this piece would be deserving of 5 stars. kay
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2023
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The story here is an interesting one, told concisely. However, you have repeated redundancies in the text that lead to a stilted flow. If you could deal with this problem, this piece would be deserving of 5 stars. kay
Comment Written 23-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2023
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Thank you so much for reading, reviewing and your constructive comments.
