Angels Unaware
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "Divorce Before Death"A Memoir and Love Story
9 total reviews
Comment from CrystieCookie999
The content, detail, and dialogue in general here deserve six stars. I always seem to run out by Wednesday of each week. You have strong memories and a great way of including detail to make them seem comprehensible to others. Digging out from that snow reminds me of the awfully deep snowstorms described by authors in the nineteenth century, like Laura Ingalls Wilder. Here are some great lines: When I managed to pry an eye open, I craned my neck like a gopher in a hole. I declared, "I did it! I did it!" Nothing but blue skies above.
Here is another strong line: As winter closed in again, there was a chill inside our home.
I never know personally if domestic abuse is magnified by being with the wrong person, or if someone is working on that weakness until chaos demands a decision like divorce. It sounds like the sister who was adopted, Ann, had to take on a more adult role whether she wanted to or not. I do remember that commercial from the 1970s and the tear running down the cheek of the Native American. Lately I am wondering if pollution affects the mental condition of people even more than we know.
Little fixes: No one sought council.
counsel is the right word
Once again, my parent's made love enough to give our broken family a baby sister named Cyndi.
Maybe try: My parents reconciled enough to add to our broken family with a baby sister named Cyndi. I think we all wondered if this would this seal the bond of love between my father and mother.
And she never forgot how to hate our father. She was our reluctant teen babysitter when my parents would go out to clubs for dancing or to bowling alleys.
This part here reminded me of a neighbor family up the street whose oldest daughter, who was abused by her father (and I think she was adopted, too) made her seem to be more mature than either parent was.
Last suggestion: over-hear doesn't need a hyphen.
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2023
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The content, detail, and dialogue in general here deserve six stars. I always seem to run out by Wednesday of each week. You have strong memories and a great way of including detail to make them seem comprehensible to others. Digging out from that snow reminds me of the awfully deep snowstorms described by authors in the nineteenth century, like Laura Ingalls Wilder. Here are some great lines: When I managed to pry an eye open, I craned my neck like a gopher in a hole. I declared, "I did it! I did it!" Nothing but blue skies above.
Here is another strong line: As winter closed in again, there was a chill inside our home.
I never know personally if domestic abuse is magnified by being with the wrong person, or if someone is working on that weakness until chaos demands a decision like divorce. It sounds like the sister who was adopted, Ann, had to take on a more adult role whether she wanted to or not. I do remember that commercial from the 1970s and the tear running down the cheek of the Native American. Lately I am wondering if pollution affects the mental condition of people even more than we know.
Little fixes: No one sought council.
counsel is the right word
Once again, my parent's made love enough to give our broken family a baby sister named Cyndi.
Maybe try: My parents reconciled enough to add to our broken family with a baby sister named Cyndi. I think we all wondered if this would this seal the bond of love between my father and mother.
And she never forgot how to hate our father. She was our reluctant teen babysitter when my parents would go out to clubs for dancing or to bowling alleys.
This part here reminded me of a neighbor family up the street whose oldest daughter, who was abused by her father (and I think she was adopted, too) made her seem to be more mature than either parent was.
Last suggestion: over-hear doesn't need a hyphen.
Comment Written 01-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2023
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Thanks Crystie. I always need editing help too. Really appreciate it.
Comment from Alaskastory
"Divorce Before Death" is a chapter that deals a sharp description of the family's life when Tom grew up to nine. It very clearly let us know how the children felt about their father. Moves us right along in an interesting way and makes us ready for more.
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2023
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"Divorce Before Death" is a chapter that deals a sharp description of the family's life when Tom grew up to nine. It very clearly let us know how the children felt about their father. Moves us right along in an interesting way and makes us ready for more.
Comment Written 31-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2023
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Thanks Marie. It will take some time but the boy will find hope and healing in a broken world. Appreciate you.
Comment from patcelaw
This story is a very chilling story, not because of the snow, but because of the brutality of the father. I lived much the same kind of life in my home, growing up. I had a father, who was abusive, physically, and a mother who was abusive emotionally. My heart goes out to anyone who has to live this kind of life. Thanks for sharing your story. It almost made me cry. Patricia.
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2023
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This story is a very chilling story, not because of the snow, but because of the brutality of the father. I lived much the same kind of life in my home, growing up. I had a father, who was abusive, physically, and a mother who was abusive emotionally. My heart goes out to anyone who has to live this kind of life. Thanks for sharing your story. It almost made me cry. Patricia.
Comment Written 31-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2023
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Thanks Pat. It takes awhile but the story will find hope and healing. Please stay tuned.
Comment from lyenochka
To me, you were the real hero of your family. As you were just a small boy who was willing to dig your way to the surface after that monumental snowstorm. I wonder how your mother knew that the sun was shining on that particular day. So glad she used that time to play games with you when trapped inside during the winter of 1966.
I like how honest and balanced your childhood memory recounted these times. Without a doubt your father was a monster when he was violent abusing your mother, but like you said, he protected you. It's this balanced view of our parents (and we can't deny our resemblance in genetic makeup) helps us accept the good in ourselves as well as be warned about the potential for evil.
Once again, my parent's made love enough (parents)
"I need a volunteer," Said mother. (said)
Then we saw neighbor coming out from the forced hibernation. (neighbors)
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2023
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To me, you were the real hero of your family. As you were just a small boy who was willing to dig your way to the surface after that monumental snowstorm. I wonder how your mother knew that the sun was shining on that particular day. So glad she used that time to play games with you when trapped inside during the winter of 1966.
I like how honest and balanced your childhood memory recounted these times. Without a doubt your father was a monster when he was violent abusing your mother, but like you said, he protected you. It's this balanced view of our parents (and we can't deny our resemblance in genetic makeup) helps us accept the good in ourselves as well as be warned about the potential for evil.
Once again, my parent's made love enough (parents)
"I need a volunteer," Said mother. (said)
Then we saw neighbor coming out from the forced hibernation. (neighbors)
Comment Written 30-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2023
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Thanks. Editing help always appreciated.
Comment from royowen
Being so young understanding is still credulous, I can remember in my teens how things were with my parents, I can always remember them fighting, but dad was a gentle man, he never physically abused any of us, even my mother who sometimes I think deserved it. Your life was so sad, This is beautifully written my friend, blessings Roy
Typo : I hid(e) behind the corner.
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2023
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Being so young understanding is still credulous, I can remember in my teens how things were with my parents, I can always remember them fighting, but dad was a gentle man, he never physically abused any of us, even my mother who sometimes I think deserved it. Your life was so sad, This is beautifully written my friend, blessings Roy
Typo : I hid(e) behind the corner.
Comment Written 30-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2023
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Yes, part of why I needed to write it was for my children, and how through faith and God's providence I overcame by the grace of God.
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That?s amazing Tom
Comment from Shirley McLain
That was some blizzard you and your family lived through. We don't have many snow storms here in Oklahoma, but when I was a kid, we had quite a few. We got mostly ice, just like right now. You did an excellent job, and I'm sorry I don't have a six. Take care. Shirley
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2023
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That was some blizzard you and your family lived through. We don't have many snow storms here in Oklahoma, but when I was a kid, we had quite a few. We got mostly ice, just like right now. You did an excellent job, and I'm sorry I don't have a six. Take care. Shirley
Comment Written 30-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2023
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Thanks so much Shirley. Just having a connection with you and many friends here makes all the difference.
Comment from jmdg1954
Okay. You got me. I'm in.
I distaste stories and poems which relate to spousal abuse, but I will read some depending how they start. You're read very well to me and I'm intrigued with the story.
This is chapter 3, and more to follow?
John
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2023
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Okay. You got me. I'm in.
I distaste stories and poems which relate to spousal abuse, but I will read some depending how they start. You're read very well to me and I'm intrigued with the story.
This is chapter 3, and more to follow?
John
Comment Written 30-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2023
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Yes it is, and I actually hated writing about the early years. I'm glad to get down the road and describe some positive aspects of love and redemption.
Comment from BethShelby
You had an interesting life although there are parts of it that were troubling. Children always have a different prospective and sometimes the fears they have aren't understood or addressed by the adults in their life. I am enjoying reading your story. I wonder if your mother realized she might be pushing you away because you resembled you father. It is little odd that you got your father's name even though your brother was older.
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2023
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You had an interesting life although there are parts of it that were troubling. Children always have a different prospective and sometimes the fears they have aren't understood or addressed by the adults in their life. I am enjoying reading your story. I wonder if your mother realized she might be pushing you away because you resembled you father. It is little odd that you got your father's name even though your brother was older.
Comment Written 30-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2023
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Thanks again
Comment from Daniel Fernandes
This is well written that felt really personal which I respect. The title is perfect I find it clever. "Was He really my father's son?" Wow what a way to end it. Powerful stuff. Thank you for sharing this. Great job. Write On!
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2023
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This is well written that felt really personal which I respect. The title is perfect I find it clever. "Was He really my father's son?" Wow what a way to end it. Powerful stuff. Thank you for sharing this. Great job. Write On!
Comment Written 30-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2023
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Thanks again
