Comment from lancellot

Excellent

Hmm, The writing is fine. I'm not sure about how easily E.J. got into Penn, without an entrance exam, transcripts, or test scores. He didn't really know either doctors for them to take that risk. He is a 38 man, not a hot chick, influential, or rich. But, I guess the story needs him in school.

but don't bother about providing any transcripts.

- This part shocked me. I would think, transcripts was a requirement by the state and most accreditation boards. E.J. could have been expelled from his last school.

 Comment Written 22-Jan-2023

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reply by the author on 23-Jan-2023

Not a hot chick, huh? Maybe Abby took one for the team and slept with Gregorian to get him to recommend E.J.

You're probably right about the transcript being required. I think I'll leave that out.

Comment from jmdg1954

Excellent

Jim,
After his relapse with alcohol, EJ found his "stroke" of good fortunes. Automatic entry into Pen State, confidence and a direction in life, all he needs now s a girl. Abby? Probably not. But we'll see.
Good chapter.
John

 Comment Written 21-Jan-2023

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reply by the author on 21-Jan-2023

We'll see pretty soon. Thanks, John. Jim

Comment from Jay Squires

Excellent

E.J. is really getting his breaks now. It's good to have a referral to a person who matters in a college's administration. Not much happened in this chapter, but everything was necessary to set up future chapters. Good job, Jim.

Jay

 Comment Written 21-Jan-2023

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reply by the author on 21-Jan-2023

Thanks, Jay. We are now one chapter away from Part III which will be a significant shift in the story.

Could I ask a favor of you? I wonder if you could review "Wile on the Green" for me? I need just a couple more reviews to push me over the 25 limit for further consideration. I would really appreciate it. Jim

Comment from Carol Hillebrenner

Excellent

This is good to show that professors are impressed with E.J. Budrowski. Abby really has faith in him also. I look forward to seeing what comes next for the three main characters.

 Comment Written 21-Jan-2023

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reply by the author on 21-Jan-2023

One more chapter until Part III when we shift gears and come to another major part of the story.

Thanks for the good review, Carol. Jim

Comment from royowen

Excellent

I loved the way this episode went, and if I had decided I would have love to go back and recalibrate my educational life, but I can't, but I can enjoy someone else's life. Beautifully written, well done Jim, blessings Roy

 Comment Written 21-Jan-2023

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reply by the author on 21-Jan-2023

Thank you, Roy. This is a little bit autobiographical. I was a golf course superintendent for a few years before realizing I didn't want to spend the rest of my career doing that, so I went back to school and studied computer science and programming. I spent the last 30 years of my working life in the IT field as a programmer and systems analyst.

reply by royowen on 21-Jan-2023

My mathematical/physicist friend, became a systems analyst, whose father was my batting partner and bridge/life mentor, I learned a lot from him, he was colleague of my wife. Small world, most of what we write has been part of our world.

Comment from Jasmine Girl

Excellent

This passage is from a novel and it describes the protagonist, E.J., who has recently quit alcohol and is seeking a new direction in his life. He has a meeting with a professor, Dr. Gregorian, who is impressed by E.J.'s bridge skills and suggests computer science as a potential career path for him. Dr. Gregorian connects E.J. with the head of the computer science department and E.J. has a positive meeting with him. The passage is well written and provides a clear picture of the characters and their interactions. The dialogue is natural and the descriptions are vivid, giving the reader a sense of the characters' personalities and the setting. The passage is also rich in detail and it shows the protagonist's growth and development throughout the story.

 Comment Written 21-Jan-2023

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reply by the author on 21-Jan-2023

Thank you so much. After one more chapter, we will be entering Part III where the story takes a major turn. I post a chapter almost every day. Glad you enjoyed this one.

Comment from barbara.wilkey

Excellent

I am happy for E. J. I know there will be pit falls but I am still very happy things are starting to work out for him. I am wondering and him and Abby. I know there's a 17-year age difference, but they are good together.

 Comment Written 21-Jan-2023

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reply by the author on 21-Jan-2023

Many people have wondered that, Barbara. There won't be any romance, but they will remain lifelong friends.

reply by barbara.wilkey on 21-Jan-2023

DARN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL

Comment from TDLRasmar

Excellent

I hate to burst your bubble but the pic of the guy is Dustin Hoffman I believe and not E.J. (joking)

That was a very interesting read. This the first chapter I have read of your book. Is it all in first person? I haven't read too many first person pieces except in poetry. Also, I am curious, but you are a guy and the first person voice is the girl's, have you run into any difficulties. I thought a couple of times about writing a piece with a main character a different sex than mine but chickened out.

I thought you wrote clearly and logically and it was a nice read. Nice job.

 Comment Written 21-Jan-2023

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reply by the author on 21-Jan-2023

You're the first person who noticed (or at least said anything) that that was a picture of Dustin Hoffman in his role as Ratso Rizzo in the film "Midnight Cowboy." The girl is a Ukrainian model named Daria Sidorchuk.

The entire story is in first person by three different characters, the two main ones being Abby and E.J. I did not really have that difficult of a time writing from the female perspective. I had a little help from my wife and daughter making it more realistic, though, plus a few suggestions from a female friend. I think that's important to do.

Writing in first person has its challenges. Everything has to be from that character's perspective, and you can't interject thoughts of other characters. It's also easier if the story took place in the past because everything is then in past tense. It's trickier when it's happening real-time unless you use present tense which often sounds weird. (I go into the store and buy myself a large Coke.) Some writers do it, but it's relatively rare. It's easiest to use the past tense to narrate action, something like making a diary entry. That way the story is taking place in the present, but you can use past tense for most everything--but it's very recent past.

Comment from Tom Horonzy

Excellent

At the beginning of this chapter, I thought I was reading a bio. I, too, was good at math and English, but when I enlisted the other tests taken were mechanical and electrical. I was a complete bust, so much so the recruiter told me the Navy would be fearful I'd sink one of OUR ships. So, I studied weather. It was that or a parachute rigger, and I did not fancy jumping from a perfectly good plane.

 Comment Written 21-Jan-2023

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reply by the author on 21-Jan-2023

Sounds like a wise choice!

Thanks for the good rating, Tom.