Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell

Excellent

Hi Jim, this is the first chapter I've read of your story, and was totally enthralled. I didn't know it was wrong to go cold-turkey, not that I drink, apart from the occassional sherry. Lol. I really enjoyed this chapter, and reading your short synopsis at the top, it makes me want to read more. Well done. I'll fan you so I don't miss your next postings. :)) Sandra xx

 Comment Written 04-Feb-2023

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reply by the author on 04-Feb-2023

Thank you very much, Sandra. Unfortunately, tomorrow will be the last chapter of the book: chapter 64. That said, you may still enjoy today's and tomorrow's final 2 chapters. If you read today's, the recap details about the last third of the story, and the author's notes describe each of the characters.

I'm honored that you fanned me!

reply by Sandra Stoner-Mitchell on 04-Feb-2023

I'll go and read them. If I've time later, I'll read from the beginning. I'm still recovering from a serious illness, so taking things slowly.

reply by the author on 04-Feb-2023

I'd be very impressed if you started at the beginning and read the whole thing. It's a 310 page novel with lots of chapters.

If nothing else, just read the first few to see the two main characters early only. Jim

reply by Sandra Stoner-Mitchell on 04-Feb-2023

I've done that several times. Once I start I carry on. I'm reading a few others at the moment, so I'm going to add your to my FS bookcase.

Comment from Carol Hillebrenner

Excellent

This is a good chapter. EJ wanted to quit drinking, which was a worthy cause, but he did it the wrong way. Now that he has gotten through the worst of the dt's, he should be able to keep on going. I fanned you so I wouldn't miss any more chapters.

 Comment Written 20-Jan-2023

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reply by the author on 21-Jan-2023

Thank you so much, Carol. I'm very happy you're enjoying the story. It's about 3/4 of the way through, but still plenty to come.

Comment from Jay Squires

Excellent

I think I am as confused as E.J. said he was. So the 25 grand he lost was only a dream? Well, you and I both are guessing about the effects of alcohol withdrawal (although yours had the ring of authority to it), but I'm not too sure his realization that it had all been a dream and telling them so, is how it would really come about. How about you? Since this is in the first person, meaning you give the reader insight into his thinking, don't you think he would have told them, at first, at least, that it might have been a dream? You might even have let the reader in on his doubts through introspection by having him think to himself, "Could I have imagined the whole thing?". To me, that just feels more natural, and as a writer, that's what you are aiming for. That's just one person's opinion, though.

Everything that led up to his hospitalization, though, was expertly written. Everyone noticed how bad he looked. Very realistic. His determination to caddy ... also well-done.

All in all, very well done!

Jay

 Comment Written 17-Jan-2023

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reply by the author on 17-Jan-2023

Thanks, Jay.

To clear up the confusion, if you remember, at the end of chapter 43, he lost the match to Fairbanks and left the course, leaving the Lucky 1 in the woods. He then went home, got violently drunk, threw up in the toilet, then collapsed in bed. The beginning of chapter 44 begins like this:

The next morning, I woke up around 9:00 feeling surprisingly refreshed. I got out of bed and made for the bathroom. On the way, I glanced down at my footlocker, and the Lucky 1 was sitting right on top in its usual spot.

Wait a minute. What? I left this in the woods yesterday. My mind couldn?t comprehend what I was seeing. Right then the phone rang, and I went over to answer it. It was Abby.

She said, "I?m just calling to see how you?re doing today. About last night? um, I was thinking about it. It really would be nice if you wrote Ruth a card like you said you would or even call her and apologize again. We?ll be playing against her again in the future, so might as well mend fences."

Last night? What was she talking about? "Don?t you mean Thursday night?"

"Of course."

"Well, what?s today?"

"It?s Friday! What?s with you?"

"Abby, let me call you back," and I hung up.

What was going on here? First I find the Lucky 1 sitting on top of my footlocker, then Abby tells me today is Friday? As my mind tried to reconcile these two facts with what occurred these past few days, it suddenly dawned on me what was happening here: There had been no lesson with Eddie, no drinking at Kelso?s bar with the guys, no competition with Fairbanks. I hadn?t lost the match and blown $25,000. I hadn?t lost the Lucky 1. The last few days had been a damn dream?a nightmare in fact! I just stood there as waves of relief flowed through my body.

After a few minutes of this, I walked over to the footlocker, picked up the Lucky 1, and looked at it as I held it in my hand. I took it over and sat down in my chair to think. There was a lesson here; I just had to figure out what it was. My brain, or was it the Lucky 1, was trying to tell me something. As I sat there, turning the ball over and over in my hand, pondering, everything slowly started to make sense, and it all pointed in one direction.

The Lucky 1 had not gone in the hole on that final shot against Fairbanks. Why? Because I was using it as a crutch?a way out of the predicament I had put myself in. I abused it the way I have abused myself?by drinking my way out of all the challenges I?ve faced in life. It came pounding home that for almost half my life, at least since my one year in college, I have always taken the easy way out of things. Rather than face the difficulties and realities of life, what have I done instead? I?ve retreated to the bottle. When I get back to school, is this what will happen again the first time I encounter some difficulties? In the past, it?s been too easy to just get drunk and forget about my problems. Alcohol has helped kill my motivation to even try to do anything important in my life?to work hard and to realize my potential.

All of this led to just one conclusion: I had to give up drinking?completely and permanently. I?ve never tried giving it up before, nor even reducing it?never felt that I wanted to. But the sudden insight I just had made me realize that my future depended on it. It was finally time to grow up, to meet life?s challenges head-on, and to stop relying on alcohol to get by. Just getting-by was not enough for me anymore. I had to give it up right now, or I would continue to ruin my life.
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So, you see, the dream encompassed the entire time between the night he went to bed drunk after insulting Ruth at the bridge table (at the end of chapter 39) through the loss to Fairbanks and throwing up in the toilet at the end of chapter 43.

When he was in the hospital, he was just confused after coming out of his unconsciousness.

reply by Jay Squires on 17-Jan-2023

I stand convicted. I even went back to see if I had missed that chapter. Sure enough, I read it and reviewed it. For some reason the connection between his "spent" lucky ball and it miraculously showing up the next day, was lost to me. And I can't understand it. Sorry.
Jay

reply by the author on 18-Jan-2023

Hey, no worries. This did cause me to go back and add a sentence to make it clearer what the exact timeframe of the dream was. Right after he says: "I hadn?t lost the match and blown $25,000. I hadn?t lost the Lucky 1." I then added the sentence: "From the time I went to bed drunk after insulting Ruth at the bridge game, none of the rest had happened."

I think that will review the situation and make it clearer when the dream actually starts.

By the way, I've had mixed reviews on using the dream meme. Some have thought it hokey. Do you recall being disappointed by it, feeling it detracted from the story?

reply by Jay Squires on 18-Jan-2023

No, as a matter of fact, the dream sequence was really a pleasant read since I thought it was reality long after smarter readers knew it was a dream. In my dreams there would have been a fish flying by just as I was about to puttl But that's a different story.

Jay

Comment from royowen

Excellent

Poor old EJ, i never suffered these withdrawal problems, even though I just simply stopped drinking. But I sympathise with him, I needed it because I didn't have God in my life, I watched a film called "Lost weekend" with Ray Milland and Jane Wyman, made back in 1945, an alcoholic, he was hallucinating he was so bad. Beautifully written my friend, blessings Roy

 Comment Written 17-Jan-2023

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reply by the author on 17-Jan-2023

Thanks, Roy. Yeah, sounds like he had the DTs. I did some research on that, and it said only about 3-5% of alcoholics getting off booze have those. I chose not to have E.J. get that bad, but it's bad enough.

reply by royowen on 17-Jan-2023

It is

Comment from barbara.wilkey

Excellent

I'm glad E.J. is going to get the help he needs. I hope he can kick the drinking habit for good. I'm glad Abby is there to help him. I know she will. You're doing a great job writing this story.

 Comment Written 17-Jan-2023

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reply by the author on 17-Jan-2023

Thank you so much. It took him a while, but he finally realizes he needs the help of others to kick this addiction.

Comment from Sarah Das Gupta

Exceptional

Great episode which really captures the pathos of EJ's situation. Realistic account of going 'cold turkey' and the position of EJ is very well conveyed.
I feel your writing has become much more convincing!

 Comment Written 17-Jan-2023

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reply by the author on 17-Jan-2023

Thank you so much, Sarah. I really appreciate the good review.

Let me ask you your opinion of chapter 44 where it is revealed that everything following the night when E.J. insults his opponent at bridge, goes home and gets drunk is actually a dream. Did you feel this was an over-used literary meme and was disappointing for the lack of realism, or did you enjoy it? I've heard mixed opinions about it, and I wanted to get your take.

reply by Sarah Das Gupta on 17-Jan-2023

I will think about it and send you a note

Comment from jmdg1954

Excellent

A very emotional chapter. One which also gives a little detail for anyone de-toxing from alcohol in the proper method (which does make sense).

Hopefully E.J. will "right" himself with the help of Abby and now Kenny.

Good chapter. John

 Comment Written 17-Jan-2023

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reply by the author on 17-Jan-2023

Thank you, John. He's finally realized he needs some help from others.