Some Call It Luck
Viewing comments for Chapter 41 "Some Call It Luck - Chapter 41"A unique friendship affects the course of 2 lives.
7 total reviews
Comment from lancellot
Well, I guess it was get drunk before the game. At least, he staggered home instead of drove. I was thinking. You may need a bit more. Not saying things are getting boring, but the stakes can drive a story.
Good work.
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2023
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Well, I guess it was get drunk before the game. At least, he staggered home instead of drove. I was thinking. You may need a bit more. Not saying things are getting boring, but the stakes can drive a story.
Good work.
Comment Written 15-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2023
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You're right about that. It's going to get pretty eventful in the next few chapters.
Comment from Jay Squires
I'm afraid E.J. is putting himself through a damaging ordeal by drinking heavily the night before his match. It's certainly no way to get rid of the yips. I only have one thing to point out:
"We won't make fun a you.......... [Try to avoid the multiple periods. Only use, at the most, four (when you want to convey the end of a COMPLETE sentence with a feeling of incompletion) or three (when it's an incomplete thought at the end of an incomplete sentence.]
But I do have a suggestion on your posting. I think I might have already mentioned it, but if not, it's something to try on. If you're going to spend the $9. 95 anyway for a certificate, take the other step, for $2.95 more and get the Lucky Leprechaun certificate. I don't know why it is, but there's magic in it. It offers the reader a chance for extra cash for reading, but it also gives him/her the chance for a membership pump, as well. Try it. I think most reviewers do like I do when they're looking for something to read: They are drawn to the high dollar amount first, but then the "and maybe more" after the dollar amount. So give it a shot.
Jay
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2023
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I'm afraid E.J. is putting himself through a damaging ordeal by drinking heavily the night before his match. It's certainly no way to get rid of the yips. I only have one thing to point out:
"We won't make fun a you.......... [Try to avoid the multiple periods. Only use, at the most, four (when you want to convey the end of a COMPLETE sentence with a feeling of incompletion) or three (when it's an incomplete thought at the end of an incomplete sentence.]
But I do have a suggestion on your posting. I think I might have already mentioned it, but if not, it's something to try on. If you're going to spend the $9. 95 anyway for a certificate, take the other step, for $2.95 more and get the Lucky Leprechaun certificate. I don't know why it is, but there's magic in it. It offers the reader a chance for extra cash for reading, but it also gives him/her the chance for a membership pump, as well. Try it. I think most reviewers do like I do when they're looking for something to read: They are drawn to the high dollar amount first, but then the "and maybe more" after the dollar amount. So give it a shot.
Jay
Comment Written 12-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2023
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Got it. That makes sense. Thanks so much, Jay.
What's the best way to indicate a long pause? (That was the point of all those dots.)
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That would be 3 dots. And if that pause is at the end of a full sentence, then it's one dot for the period, and three for the pause. Same principle if its a question mark or an exclamation mark.
Comment from royowen
I'm wondering if the drinking is such a good idea at the moment, it certainly couldn't be that good for him, he does seem to need a lot of booze to get the sort of reassurance that he needs. Beautifully written my friend, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2023
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I'm wondering if the drinking is such a good idea at the moment, it certainly couldn't be that good for him, he does seem to need a lot of booze to get the sort of reassurance that he needs. Beautifully written my friend, blessings Roy
Comment Written 12-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2023
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Thanks, Roy. He is about to learn that lesson the hard way.
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I can imagine
Comment from Sarah Das Gupta
It seems EJ is falling back into addiction to alcohol! I was wondering why his fellow caddies speak as they do. Are they already the worse for drink?
Abby will not react well to this decline?
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2023
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It seems EJ is falling back into addiction to alcohol! I was wondering why his fellow caddies speak as they do. Are they already the worse for drink?
Abby will not react well to this decline?
Comment Written 12-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2023
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He never really stopped drinking; I just haven't shown it as much for a while, as the main focus was on Abby for a few chapters. This flaw of E.J.'s will very soon be coming to a head.
Rafe was earlier introduced as a black man, and this happens to be his natural way of speaking, as he is not well-educated. The others we don't really know their ethnicity.
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I'm thinking I should have played golf!
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It's not too late to start. I taught my next door neighbor to play when he was 69, and he'd never played before.
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Well never ask a lady her age! But I think bridge might be a better option!
Comment from jmdg1954
This chapter was a good Segway to what's to follow. I still think EJ is doing himself a huge disservice hitting the bottle again. But as we both know that's what alcohol does to a person.
We'll have to wait and see how he does at golf in the AM.
Cheers.
John
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2023
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This chapter was a good Segway to what's to follow. I still think EJ is doing himself a huge disservice hitting the bottle again. But as we both know that's what alcohol does to a person.
We'll have to wait and see how he does at golf in the AM.
Cheers.
John
Comment Written 12-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2023
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Yes, he absolutely is doing himself a disservice. What's it going to take for him to realize that? We'll soon see.
Comment from Douglas Goff
Very good work here my friend. I love the accents that you put on one of the characters, Rafe. Gave the story a great sense of reality. In fact, the whole flow of conversation and action seemed completely believable.
One catch, maybe?
"E.J! Good ta see ya here, man!" said Rafe as he clapped me on the shoulder. (Period after J)
Anyways, very enjoyable. I plan to jump in on this one again in the future. Thanks for sharing!
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2023
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Very good work here my friend. I love the accents that you put on one of the characters, Rafe. Gave the story a great sense of reality. In fact, the whole flow of conversation and action seemed completely believable.
One catch, maybe?
"E.J! Good ta see ya here, man!" said Rafe as he clapped me on the shoulder. (Period after J)
Anyways, very enjoyable. I plan to jump in on this one again in the future. Thanks for sharing!
Comment Written 12-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2023
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Thanks so much, Douglas. Some people may take offense at Rafe's manner of speaking as being racist, but his character is based on many black caddies I knew when I was a caddie, and that's how they spoke.
Interesting about the missing period. I had to look that up when I wrote it and found out that when using a ! or ?, the dot at the bottom of those takes the place of the period.
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Ooooh Jim that is great to know. I?ve been doing it wrong. Great tip! Have an awesome day!
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I really like this story, I'm curious about the upcoming golf game and am curious how E.J. funds himself. As a caddy he can't make that much money, can he??
I may not be in any condition to drive when I get done there later. (passive TRY - I may not be in any condition to drive when I finish.)
He saw me sit down at the bar. (you can omit 'down' it's understood)
and start a tab for me?" (start me a tab?)
I downed it in four gulps while he watched me. (period after watched. and omit 'me')
He refilled my glass and put another tick mark on his sheet. "Gotta go wait on these folks down here," he said, pointing down the bar. "Be back in a few." (action before dialogue. - He refilled my glass and put another tick mark on his sheet as he pointed down the bar. "Gotta go wait on these folks down here. Be back in a few.")
"Thanks. Don't mind if I do," so I picked up my drink and followed the group to a table (period after 'do' & drop the 'so' start sentence with 'I"
named Homer and Buddy, as we found a table and all sat down. (you can omit 'down' it's understood)
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2023
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I really like this story, I'm curious about the upcoming golf game and am curious how E.J. funds himself. As a caddy he can't make that much money, can he??
I may not be in any condition to drive when I get done there later. (passive TRY - I may not be in any condition to drive when I finish.)
He saw me sit down at the bar. (you can omit 'down' it's understood)
and start a tab for me?" (start me a tab?)
I downed it in four gulps while he watched me. (period after watched. and omit 'me')
He refilled my glass and put another tick mark on his sheet. "Gotta go wait on these folks down here," he said, pointing down the bar. "Be back in a few." (action before dialogue. - He refilled my glass and put another tick mark on his sheet as he pointed down the bar. "Gotta go wait on these folks down here. Be back in a few.")
"Thanks. Don't mind if I do," so I picked up my drink and followed the group to a table (period after 'do' & drop the 'so' start sentence with 'I"
named Homer and Buddy, as we found a table and all sat down. (you can omit 'down' it's understood)
Comment Written 12-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2023
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E.J. earned a lot of money betting on golf when he was in Florida the previous winter, plus more when he got back, playing matches with Eddie. Between caddying and his golf winnings, he has amassed about $28,000 which he is saving for a return to college.
Thank you so much for your good review and for taking the time to point out flaws. You would make a great copy editor, Barbara!
