Comment from royowen

Excellent

I thought you'd posted a few before this one, but it must be a different A. Myers. I must admit I'm rather fond of stories of rescue, and this was a great example of that. This is beautifully written I'm so glad you came back, blessings Roy
Typo : Bent (at) the waist. 2: I (sat) bolt upright.

 Comment Written 22-Jan-2023

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reply by the author on 22-Jan-2023

Thank you for reading and reviewing, Roy. I appreciate it and your feedback. I just promoted it again, so this could be the story you were thinking of. Regardless, I'm thrilled you enjoyed it so much. Thank you for reading and for pointing out those types. I'll fix them. Take care. :D :D

reply by royowen on 22-Jan-2023

Most welcome

Comment from Carol Hillebrenner

Good

Congratulations on your first posting after a long sabbatical. This has the possibility of being very good. There are a few things you need to change.
(No one likes to hear their baby isn't beautiful, but I hope to make it better if I may.) If Gabriel is your brother, you need to introduce his name in the first paragraph. This part of a sentence sounds as if the creature has three hands-- . . . wrapped around one, one snaked around . . . while the other muffled my . . . I think a word is missing here--us, bent the waist... You say you crawled into a hole at the base of the tree, but then you jump to your feet. Makes more sense that the creature drags you from where you cower in the tree. Best of luck with this. I want to see more.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 18-Jan-2023

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reply by the author on 18-Jan-2023

Thank you for reading and reviewing, Carol. I appreciate it and your feedback. Those are some great suggestions; thank you. They're very helpful. I want to clarify that Gabriel isn't Annie's brother. I've left the brother anonymous, as Annie hasn't shared that detail with me. Too much pain surrounding him, I suspect. I'm sorry for the confusion. Thank you again for reading. I'm thrilled you enjoyed it, too. Chapter two is posted here, too, and I'm working on chapter 3. Hopefully, it'll be up soon. Take care. :D :D

reply by Carol Hillebrenner on 18-Jan-2023

Then you do need to give a hint who Gabriel is to her.

Comment from Tom Horonzy

Excellent

Good luck. Read your three-liner. You'll see mom again one day.
Hope you enjoy your second experience with FanStory. ..............................................

 Comment Written 17-Jan-2023

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reply by the author on 17-Jan-2023

Thank you for reading and reviewing. I appreciate it and your feedback. Yes, I will, and I'm looking forward to it, too, but I'm also content to stay on Earth for as long as I'm needed/given time. Thank you again for reviewing. Take care. :D

Comment from barbara.wilkey

Excellent

Congratulations on this being your first milestone. I know I'm a fan of yours but for some reason these writing aren't coming into my PM box. I'm not sure why. HMMM, not happy about this.

 Comment Written 17-Jan-2023

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reply by the author on 17-Jan-2023

Thank you for reading and reviewing, Barbara. I appreciate it and your feedback. Hmmm, that is strange. I know I keep promoting it... I have a new story that I'm hoping to post by the weekend, so fingers crossed you'll receive your notification for that one. It's called "Wake Me Up." Thank you again for reading. Take care. :D

Comment from JT traveller

Excellent

A wonderful read and reflective of the fact that not all of us have the ideal childhood. At least you had your brother. Very descriptive and imaginative writing. A thoroughly enjoyable read.

 Comment Written 15-Jan-2023

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reply by the author on 16-Jan-2023

Thank you for reading and reviewing. I appreciate it and your feedback. This story has begged me to write it for years, but I didn't feel ready till now. I'm thrilled it's so well received. Thank you again for reviewing. Take care. :D

Comment from BethShelby

Excellent

This is an excellent beginning post. Congratulation on you first milestone. I see you have been here before and I'm glad you decided to return. This story should be interesting. I look forward to reading more.

 Comment Written 15-Jan-2023

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reply by the author on 15-Jan-2023

Thank you for reading and reviewing. I appreciate it and your feedback. Yes, I'm glad to be back, too. I've learned so much since I returned, and I'm looking forward to growing even more. Thank you again for reviewing. Take care. :D

Comment from dmt1967

Exceptional

I cant wait to read the next chapter. This will be a best seller, i think, if each chapter is like this. The one thing I would suggest is write the journal the way it is written but the story normally to show the skip better. Thank you for sharing and have a great day.

 Comment Written 15-Jan-2023

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reply by the author on 15-Jan-2023

Thank you for reading and reviewing. I appreciate it and your feedback. Could you elaborate on your suggestion about the journal? It's a little confusing. Did you mean to keep the font the same or something different? Thank you for reviewing. Take care. :D

reply by dmt1967 on 18-Jan-2023

The writing for the story looks like a letter and, when you are telling the story it is fine but when you are just the narrator, you don't need to. How do you get that effect?

Comment from Karyn2

Excellent

Hi! I was a bit confused with your milestone post (congrats though for coming back) because I had read it before recently. I popped into your account and I see that you have written a second chapter and this first chapter was posted earlier this month. Maybe it was chapter 2 you were after new reviews on? Anyway, it was well written, dark in theme and full of suspense almost boarder it on thriller! Best wishes.

 Comment Written 15-Jan-2023

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reply by the author on 15-Jan-2023

Thank you for reading and reviewing. I appreciate it and your feedback. Yeah, I might've promoted the wrong chapter. That's what I get for working late. Lol. Thank you again for your review. Take care. :D

Comment from Kaiku

Excellent

Good stuff here. Did Annie have a `black-out` moment in the restaurant causing her episode? Or was she a tad on the catatonic state and came to her senses realizing the mistake of identity? Entertaining.

 Comment Written 15-Jan-2023

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reply by the author on 15-Jan-2023

Thank you for reading and reviewing. I appreciate it and your feedback. Do you mean between the first and second paragraphs? That was a journal entry that sparked some unpleasant memories, so she stopped before becoming too overwhelmed. Thank you for reviewing. Take care. :D

reply by Kaiku on 15-Jan-2023

Gotcha. Thanks for clarity.

Comment from Douglas Goff

Excellent

That is as creepy as hell. I totally though he was going to whisper "peek a boo" in the end.

Great work here. I really enjoy the scary stuff and this for the bill.

Nice!

 Comment Written 14-Jan-2023

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reply by the author on 14-Jan-2023

Thank you for reading and reviewing. I appreciate it and your feedback. I'm glad you enjoyed it. If you like scary, there's more in chapter two, and I'm working on chapter three. Thank you again for reviewing. Take care. :D

reply by Douglas Goff on 14-Jan-2023

I shall keep me eye open!