Reviews from

Shadows of the Past

Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "Chapter 1"
Traumatized by her past, Annie seeks an escape.

41 total reviews 
Comment from BermyBye50
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

A Myers,

What a thought provoking chapter in the book Shadows of the Past. Your skill and talent is well expressed in this romantic supernatural story. The dialogue fully enhances the theme and the variety of fonts used gives understanding of time as it parallels the authors experience in telling their story. Well done.

All the best,

Eugene

 Comment Written 06-Feb-2023


reply by the author on 06-Feb-2023
    Thank you for reading and reviewing, Eugene. I appreciate it and your feedback. I'm thrilled you enjoyed it, and I'm happy the story connected with you. I have a second chapter posted, and I'm still working on the third one. Thank you again for reading. Take care. :D :D
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is certainly different. This child suffered a lot of trauma in her young life.It is a wonder that she survived. Well done and very engaging. I see you have posted another chapter. I will check it out. Nancy:)

 Comment Written 25-Jan-2023


reply by the author on 25-Jan-2023
    Thank you for reading and reviewing, Nancy. I appreciate it and your feedback. Yes, Annie did go through a lot, and that survival will be addressed in the coming chapters. I hope you enjoy chapter 2. Thank you again for reading. Take care. :D :D
Comment from Rachel Jamerson1
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Understanding this is only one chapter in your book I am amazed. Your writting alone is awesome. Your story is mesmerizing. If you publish this book it will be a best seller. Thank you for shareing your story with us.

 Comment Written 24-Jan-2023


reply by the author on 24-Jan-2023
    Thank you for reading and reviewing. I appreciate it and your feedback. Oh, wow! Thank you!!! That means so much to me. I do dream of publishing my work. I do want to pursue that avenue. *Fingers crossed.* Thank you again for reading. Take care. :D :D
Comment from susand3022
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Wow!
I'm so glad I read this! I'm hooked! I'm a fan! I'm definitely coming back for the next chapter... and most likely the rest of the book! I can't wait to see what happens next and what all this is about. I feel like I just walked into a Dean Koontz novel! So excited!
Susan :) :)

 Comment Written 24-Jan-2023


reply by the author on 24-Jan-2023
    Thank you for reading, Susan. I appreciate it and your feedback. I'm thrilled you enjoyed this story so much. I had a lot of fun writing it. Wow, I love that compliment. I'm honored. Thank you!!!!! Take care. :D :D
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Excellent
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It is scary for children to feel so insecure as they are growing up and this fear never leaves them when they become adults. This is an unusual story and I wish you lost of luck with your writing on Fanstory and welcome back, love Dolly x

 Comment Written 24-Jan-2023


reply by the author on 24-Jan-2023
    Thank you for reading and reviewing, Dolly. I appreciate it and your feedback. Yes, I agree. That childhood fear gets ingrained, and I want to ensure I address that and give Annie a realistic avenue toward recovery. Thank you again for reading. Take care. :D :D
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This made a good 'in medias res' story, but I felt as a precursor to your chapter two you are missing about three chapters, one leading up to this, and a couple between the two. Here Gabriel and Annie barely meet, and yet by chapter two they are already incredibly close. kay

 Comment Written 24-Jan-2023


reply by the author on 24-Jan-2023
    Thank you for reading and reviewing, Kay. I appreciate it and your feedback. Chapters 1 and 2 are connected as they're both in the present but also include specific flashbacks that led to this point. Annie's telling me the story in flashbacks, and that's why I've related it that way. In each chapter, I'll reveal more backstory that creates the whole picture. Thank you again for reading. Take care. :D :D
Comment from Rebecca Roberts1
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

You got me hooked. I'm ready to read more.
You had me hanging onto my heart when the men came for her in the woods.
And I could feel her clinging to her brother. Nice imagery.
Thanks for a great read.

 Comment Written 22-Jan-2023


reply by the author on 23-Jan-2023
    Thank you for reading and reviewing. I appreciate it and your feedback. I'm thrilled you enjoyed it. I'm hoping to have chapter 3 up soon. This one is taking me a bit longer as I want to be realistic with her healing. Thank you again. Take care. :D :D
Comment from prettybluebirds
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Welcome back to FanStory. It is hard to keep up with the money demands on this site. I spent way too much time reviewing so I could post a story once in a while. Your writing is terrific. I hope you stay this time.

 Comment Written 22-Jan-2023


reply by the author on 22-Jan-2023
    Thank you for reading and reviewing. I appreciate it and your feedback. I'm glad to be back, and I hope I can stay for a long while. I feel I've already grown so much as a writer. Thank you again for reading. Take care. :D :D
Comment from humpwhistle
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Maybe there is a story here, maybe not. I reserve my judgement--which carries not weight anyway.

I wish you hadn't chosen that font for your opening. I get your intention, but I wonder if it's worth taxing the reader. I believe the first priority of any author is to invite the reader in. I respectfully suggest that font is an impediment.

I look forward to reading more. Peace, Lee

 Comment Written 22-Jan-2023


reply by the author on 22-Jan-2023
    Thank you for reading and reviewing, Lee. I appreciate it and your feedback. Regarding the font, so I'm clear on your suggestion, are you saying to keep it all the same or change it to one that is easier to read for viewers? It's a good suggestion. I want to make sure I understand what you mean. Thank you again for reading. Take care. :D :D
reply by humpwhistle on 22-Jan-2023
    I like the use of different fonts to differentiate a switch--in POV, timeframe, whatever. But I feel your opening font is weak. I realize it's use is symbolic, but it doesn't play well on all computer screens. For now, that's the medium your stuck with. But, if no one else identifies this as an issue, chalk it up to one crotchety old man. Lee
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2023
    Another person mentioned it, which was why I was curious if a different style would be less jarring. I wanted it to feel like a real journal entry and like someone's handwriting. I'll see if I can find one that works better. Thank you for your feedback. :D
reply by humpwhistle on 22-Jan-2023
    I used to be an advertising Creative Director. My art directors always wanted to use 'exotic' fonts. I always tried to steer them the fonts that are the easiest to read. Those are almost always serif typefaces. It's no mystery that most books are published with tried and true fonts like Times New Roman. Use your words to convey the 'journal' message, not the font. Just one old geezer's opinion. Lee
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2023
    I appreciate it, Lee. Thank you! :D
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2023
    I appreciate your opinion. We did the same on the Yearbook Committee.
Comment from Tpa
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I enjoyed your story. Your hook was good, and it began the suspense. I wasn't too keen for you font at the beginning of your story, thought it was harsh on my eyes. Good start to your book.

 Comment Written 22-Jan-2023


reply by the author on 22-Jan-2023
    Thank you for reading and reviewing. I appreciate it and your feedback. Regarding the font, so I'm clear on your suggestion, are you saying to keep it all the same or change it to one that is easier to read for viewers? It's a good suggestion. I want to make sure I understand what you mean. Thank you again for reading. Take care. :D :D