Eternal Darkness
The soul can be darker than the blackest night.16 total reviews
Comment from strandregs
I like how you made a psychological thriller
And made the reader think to figure out.
that one night turned her into a vampire.
Tricky you are
I like it:-))Z.
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2023
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I like how you made a psychological thriller
And made the reader think to figure out.
that one night turned her into a vampire.
Tricky you are
I like it:-))Z.
Comment Written 20-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2023
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Why, thank you, Z. This is actually one of my favorite pieces that I have written. I felt a bit sorry for my vampire.
D
Comment from Father Flaps
Hi Doug,
It's no wonder you won this contest. It's excellent, and nicely penned! You found that vampire inside the darkness you were given. Even the font lends atmosphere to your monster of the dark.
There were clues. I guessed that this woman was a vampire. Her lover had black eyes, but that wasn't the first clue.
1. "Once the sun was gone the woman could move about."
2. "He was a blond-haired, black-eyed beautiful man."
3. "One incredible night of intense passion and Hunter left."
4. "Even after all these years had passed, she was still a raving beauty."
5. "Men sought her out regularly, deep in the dark night, only to be ravaged by her insatiable hunger."
6. "Her desire to completely own them, seeking that which only Hunter had ever given her, leaving them drained."
7. "She would give anything to kiss the sun once more."
8. "Darkness was a never ending prison."
9. "the sun had set; the woman opened her eyes and pushed the casket lid open."
10. "Her fangs extended out from her lips."
Congratulations on your win!
Cheers,
Kimbob
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2023
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Hi Doug,
It's no wonder you won this contest. It's excellent, and nicely penned! You found that vampire inside the darkness you were given. Even the font lends atmosphere to your monster of the dark.
There were clues. I guessed that this woman was a vampire. Her lover had black eyes, but that wasn't the first clue.
1. "Once the sun was gone the woman could move about."
2. "He was a blond-haired, black-eyed beautiful man."
3. "One incredible night of intense passion and Hunter left."
4. "Even after all these years had passed, she was still a raving beauty."
5. "Men sought her out regularly, deep in the dark night, only to be ravaged by her insatiable hunger."
6. "Her desire to completely own them, seeking that which only Hunter had ever given her, leaving them drained."
7. "She would give anything to kiss the sun once more."
8. "Darkness was a never ending prison."
9. "the sun had set; the woman opened her eyes and pushed the casket lid open."
10. "Her fangs extended out from her lips."
Congratulations on your win!
Cheers,
Kimbob
Comment Written 28-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2023
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Thanks! It was a fun write. I guess you could say that my piece ?dripped with clues. (Yep. I went there)
Comment from Susan Newell
Douglas,
Really? A vampire? I was sure she was a hooker. Coises! Foiled again by a Douglas Goff surprise ending that had really left me clues that I ignored. Great job!
Sue
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2023
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Douglas,
Really? A vampire? I was sure she was a hooker. Coises! Foiled again by a Douglas Goff surprise ending that had really left me clues that I ignored. Great job!
Sue
Comment Written 13-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2023
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Ha! It was written in blood script. I was surprised it won. Good times!
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You have a scary dark side. Writing in blood. What a clue. :-)
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You thought she was a hooker. Seems we have matching dark sides, my dear!
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LOL
Comment from Faith Williams
What a great story! Blew me away with your amazing writing in such a short piece.
Some great sentences:
'One incredible night of intense passion and Hunter left, stealing her sunshine.' Stealing her sunshine, literally and metaphorically, is brilliant.
'She longed to feel the sun caress her cheek like a long lost lover as it had done so long ago. She would give anything to kiss the sun once more.' I can feel her desire for warmth of the sun in these two sentences.
'Yes, her darkness was a never ending prison. She was stuck in an eternal cage, the never ending darkness her unfeeling jailer.' Again, great description.
Amazing story, Douglas! Congratulations on winning the contest.
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2023
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What a great story! Blew me away with your amazing writing in such a short piece.
Some great sentences:
'One incredible night of intense passion and Hunter left, stealing her sunshine.' Stealing her sunshine, literally and metaphorically, is brilliant.
'She longed to feel the sun caress her cheek like a long lost lover as it had done so long ago. She would give anything to kiss the sun once more.' I can feel her desire for warmth of the sun in these two sentences.
'Yes, her darkness was a never ending prison. She was stuck in an eternal cage, the never ending darkness her unfeeling jailer.' Again, great description.
Amazing story, Douglas! Congratulations on winning the contest.
Comment Written 11-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2023
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Thank you Faith. This review was so very needed. I had a rough week on FS ( a 3 star and several 4's) Shouldn't bother me, but it did.
I appreciate you and your wonderful spirit. Thank you, my friend!
Comment from Regina Elliott
Hi Douglas, I really love this
Gothic vampire story.
Congratulations on winning
the Dark contest. I have a
vampire poem titled,
"I Arise With The Paling Moon" , on my FS poetry
page. Have a creative and
peaceful Wednesday. ~
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2023
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Hi Douglas, I really love this
Gothic vampire story.
Congratulations on winning
the Dark contest. I have a
vampire poem titled,
"I Arise With The Paling Moon" , on my FS poetry
page. Have a creative and
peaceful Wednesday. ~
Comment Written 11-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2023
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I read your vamp story and reviewed it! Very good indeed. Would have 6 stared it if I hadn?t wasted them on tawdry nonets and easy haiku. Thanks for your wonderful rating. I appreciate you, especially your most excellent pieces on veterans which is why I remembered your name. Thank you!
Comment from Teri7
Congratulations on your win! I can see why you won this contest. You used great descriptive words and the font was perfect for this type of story. You also used great imagery from the art work you chose. Best wishes in the contest. Teri
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2023
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Congratulations on your win! I can see why you won this contest. You used great descriptive words and the font was perfect for this type of story. You also used great imagery from the art work you chose. Best wishes in the contest. Teri
Comment Written 10-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2023
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Thank you Teri. It was another fun one to write!
Comment from Ginda Simpson
Yes, yes, this is a dark story and you did an excellent job in drawing the reader into her darkness. I was guessing depression was her dark companion, but your ending is so much better. Creepy.
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2023
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Yes, yes, this is a dark story and you did an excellent job in drawing the reader into her darkness. I was guessing depression was her dark companion, but your ending is so much better. Creepy.
Comment Written 10-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2023
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Thank you, Ginda! This one was fun.
Comment from Ric Myworld
I think I've read most if not all of the The Dark contest entrants and you had some stiff competition in this one. Thanks for sharing your well deserved contest winner.
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2023
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I think I've read most if not all of the The Dark contest entrants and you had some stiff competition in this one. Thanks for sharing your well deserved contest winner.
Comment Written 10-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2023
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Thank you, my friend! I do like a good battle with the minds here on FS! Appreciate your review.
Comment from Barbara Peabody Pouliot
This is a great story. Congrats on the ribbon. You met the prompt very well.
I enjoyed. Thank you for sharing. Yes, this truly is a winner.
Write on Share on
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2023
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This is a great story. Congrats on the ribbon. You met the prompt very well.
I enjoyed. Thank you for sharing. Yes, this truly is a winner.
Write on Share on
Comment Written 10-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2023
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Thank you, my good friend for turning my frown upside down with your kindness.
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You always do the same for me. Friends, lol
Comment from F. William Lester
Nicely written. I kept wondering why she was stuck in the night (i.e., Ladyhawke?) until the twist of the last paragraph when I realized she was a vampire (I'm too old for the "Twilight" series :) ). Well done. It tied the story neatly together. Thanks for sharing your story and good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2023
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Nicely written. I kept wondering why she was stuck in the night (i.e., Ladyhawke?) until the twist of the last paragraph when I realized she was a vampire (I'm too old for the "Twilight" series :) ). Well done. It tied the story neatly together. Thanks for sharing your story and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 10-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2023
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Thank you! It won! I enjoy writing from an abnormal perspective! Bless you.
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Fantastic! Congratulations! You deserve it.
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Thank you, my friend. I was surprised!
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I wish you a multitude of surprises like this one.
