Some Call It Luck
Viewing comments for Chapter 27 "Some Call It Luck - Chapter 27"A unique friendship affects the course of 2 lives.
5 total reviews
Comment from Jay Squires
I'm a little confused about your viewpoint character. I'm sure I'm not alone. Last week he was making a decision whether to continue college after making a ton of money as a caddie. Today we find him at college and going to a frat party. But wait ... was that Abby? Either the protagonist is gay or it was Abby who went to the frat party.
I would very much suggest that you include the blub that you put in the author's notes at the beginning of the chapter. Absent that, I would suggest you make it clear what the gender of the main character is in the beginning of the chapter.
Another smaller suggestion, Jim. Always use $3 of the funny money you use to promote your piece to get the Leprechaun certificate. It really adds a pop to your readership by offering the "and maybe more" to the dollars and cents amount it is being offered for. It also gives another shot at an extra member cent pump for the reader. When I'm roving around looking for something to review, I always look for the "and maybe more". And I don't think I'm alone. Just sayin'...
Alrighty ... onward. I'm waiting for the next chapter.
Jay
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2022
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I'm a little confused about your viewpoint character. I'm sure I'm not alone. Last week he was making a decision whether to continue college after making a ton of money as a caddie. Today we find him at college and going to a frat party. But wait ... was that Abby? Either the protagonist is gay or it was Abby who went to the frat party.
I would very much suggest that you include the blub that you put in the author's notes at the beginning of the chapter. Absent that, I would suggest you make it clear what the gender of the main character is in the beginning of the chapter.
Another smaller suggestion, Jim. Always use $3 of the funny money you use to promote your piece to get the Leprechaun certificate. It really adds a pop to your readership by offering the "and maybe more" to the dollars and cents amount it is being offered for. It also gives another shot at an extra member cent pump for the reader. When I'm roving around looking for something to review, I always look for the "and maybe more". And I don't think I'm alone. Just sayin'...
Alrighty ... onward. I'm waiting for the next chapter.
Jay
Comment Written 26-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2022
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Jay, thanks for your good suggestions.
I begin each chapter with the name of the character whose POV the chapter is in and the date it is taking place (it's all chronological.) If a chapter in my novel is too large for viewing here, I break it up, but I always say it is a continuation of the chapter blah-blah and I give the character's name and date again.
So, at the beginning, do you think I should give a recap of the story up to the point of the new chapter, or just recent events that have taken place up to that point?
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No, very definitely a recap. Nothing turns a reader away faster than not knowing what has been happening. This allows him to join the race at a full run.
Comment from royowen
I still favour EJ, Although it seems a bit far fetched, but Abby is a bit non "cool" but then those were the girls I liked mostly, although I liked pretty, I was a guy after all, I don't know whether I would marry one or not, and I didn't, and boy! Am I glad I didn't, my kids would have suffered. Beautifully written Jim, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2022
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I still favour EJ, Although it seems a bit far fetched, but Abby is a bit non "cool" but then those were the girls I liked mostly, although I liked pretty, I was a guy after all, I don't know whether I would marry one or not, and I didn't, and boy! Am I glad I didn't, my kids would have suffered. Beautifully written Jim, blessings Roy
Comment Written 26-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2022
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There is definitely a lot of my wife in Abby, including the looks, although my wife was a brunette, not a redhead. And she wasn't "cool" either, but neither was I, and it has worked out well for 49 years now.
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Yep, I understand, a lot of marriages don?t work, because of no understanding of ?love?, we are ?lucky? or are we?
Comment from lancellot
Hmm, this is a well written interlude. We get to see what Abby is like away from E.J. She does try to date, and has feelings for guys she thinks looks good and have intellect. It shows more of her personality and bad luck.
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2022
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Hmm, this is a well written interlude. We get to see what Abby is like away from E.J. She does try to date, and has feelings for guys she thinks looks good and have intellect. It shows more of her personality and bad luck.
Comment Written 26-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2022
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Thank you. We'll be back to her in a big way pretty soon. The summer promises to be very eventful for her.
Comment from jmdg1954
Now that Abby decided to go to graduate school, this chapter could've gone in many different directions for her. Especially after her date took advantage of her having the wrong night for the movie. Yeah right...
It does leave the reader to wonder if she'll run into this blond encounter in the future.
Nicely done. John
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2022
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Now that Abby decided to go to graduate school, this chapter could've gone in many different directions for her. Especially after her date took advantage of her having the wrong night for the movie. Yeah right...
It does leave the reader to wonder if she'll run into this blond encounter in the future.
Nicely done. John
Comment Written 26-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2022
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Thanks, John. It's an ambitious plan for E.J. Let's see if he can stick to it. Chapter 27, which is out today, is back to Abby for a bit.
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We'll see about that pretty soon (hint, hint).
Comment from Sarah Das Gupta
Oh no! You can't let EJ down, just before New Year! This must be a temporary 'lapse' on Abby's part? Is this a departure in a new direction? I shall be waiting to find out!
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2022
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Oh no! You can't let EJ down, just before New Year! This must be a temporary 'lapse' on Abby's part? Is this a departure in a new direction? I shall be waiting to find out!
Comment Written 26-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2022
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Hang in there; you'll find out soon!
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ok I believe you!
