Comment from prettybluebirds

Excellent

This seems to be the start of an intriguing story. I'm not much into golf or bridge, but the story has some appeal anyway. The dialogue is excellent, and I think that is what makes a story great.

 Comment Written 20-Dec-2022

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reply by the author on 21-Dec-2022

I'm happy to hear that. I've been hoping to attract a larger audience than just golfers and bridge players and have tried to make those scenes not too technical. Thanks for the good review.

Comment from irishauthorme

Excellent

Hi, Jim, I was browsing and decided to read a chapter, and I'm hooked. I will go back and catch up so I can understand who and where.
Like your narrative, smooth a fast flowing. Also like the undercurrents here, lots of unsaid thoughts flying around.
Good characters, and anyone who has taken the effort to take a few lessons and hit the driving range can appreciate the feeling of hitting a great drive, and then on the green under par.
Good work,
irish

 Comment Written 20-Dec-2022

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reply by the author on 20-Dec-2022

Irish, thanks so much for stopping to read this chapter and for being willing to read some others. I hope it maintains your interest.

Thanks for the wonderful review too.

Comment from royowen

Excellent

I love happy endings, or simply happy stories and this seems like it might be one of those Jim. The very idea that E.J. Might be keen to get his game in order, and it seems like he was reasonably good once, and now learning how to play Bridge, it sounds like drinking may slip away, I know, as a former alcoholic, what it's like, the money one can save is phenomenal. Beautifully written Jim, love it, blessings Roy

 Comment Written 20-Dec-2022

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reply by the author on 20-Dec-2022

Roy, I so appreciate your input on this and am so glad you are staying with the story.

From one who has experienced it, I would really appreciate it if you would let me know if I get anything wrong in the portrayal of an alcoholic and his (spoiler alert!) eventual recovery.

Thanks so much for your good reviews and congratulations to you for overcoming this devastating disease.

reply by royowen on 20-Dec-2022

I don?t think E.J. will remain a boozer, love and hope can do amazing things. E.J. Could possibly go either way. But usually it?s hope that changes things, it did with me. Bless you Jim.

Comment from lancellot

Excellent

A well written chapter. Thanks for explaining more on how E.J' is managing to live, and get his... needs met. Thinking of that. E.J. is still a young man, shouldn't he have another basic need or 'those' feelings? Did he not at least check out Abby as she walked away. Just because that's what dudes do.

 Comment Written 20-Dec-2022

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reply by the author on 20-Dec-2022

I thought hard about whether or not to have E.J. experience 'those feelings' about Abby. He won't act on them because he doesn't feel worthy of her in that way, nor does he want to jeopardize this budding friendship by making any overtures to her. That doesn't mean he isn't turned on by her, though.

I'm asking your honest opinion: Do you think I should express some of these feelings through his thoughts? Maybe that would make it more realistic?

I really appreciate your comments and your good reviews, and I'm happy you're staying with this story.

reply by lancellot on 20-Dec-2022

It doesn't have to be Abby. A young man would have those needs. Nature is what it is. E.J. doesn't seem to have any.
He doesn't have to actively desire her, but if she is pretty. He should at least look. Unless, you add in a reason why he isn't... normal.

reply by the author on 20-Dec-2022

Good advice. Thank you for that.

reply by the author on 20-Dec-2022

I added the following paragraph after Abby walks away:

I watched her walk away. I couldn?t help being attracted to her beauty, but I could never act on it. I?m almost twice her age, and way out of her league in terms of desirability. She deserves someone who doesn?t have all my baggage and has a better future in store for him. Plus, I wouldn?t want to jeopardize our budding friendship in any way. I?m content just to look.