Reviews from

Quiet Lawyer

Viewing comments for Chapter 34 "Quiet Lawyer Chapter 18A"
Can a broken heart be mended?

23 total reviews 
Comment from Sanku
Excellent
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Alan demanding an attitude adjustment is cheek on his part .It is he who needs that .I am glad that you contained the Alan- Cod disagreement to the minimum. I have a feeling we would see Alan more...

 Comment Written 30-Aug-2022


reply by the author on 30-Aug-2022
    I can promise you will see Alan again. I'm glad you were happy that I didn't have Cord and Alan get into a fight. A few reviewers wanted it. I couldn't see it at this formal affair.
Comment from John Ciarmello
Excellent
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Alan sounds like he will be more trouble for Cordero and Ali, before they leave. You characterized him well in his few short sentences. He's a snobby jerk! Loved this one, Barbara. Best, JohnC

 Comment Written 29-Aug-2022


reply by the author on 29-Aug-2022
    I can promise you'll see more of Alan. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from lyenochka
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I have to confess that I generally don't read "romance" category books. I think you did a great job with giving the reader a heads up as to whom to root for (Cordero & Ali) and whom to boo at (Alan). The plot seems to have already progressed quite a bit.

I was surprised at all the kissing. It's different culture than I'm used to. I guess it's natural for two very different cultures, one in TX and one in NY to be kissing the cheek. I feel like I'm in France. That Joseph kissed her in greeting and again as they parted was a bit much. But that's just me. The verb comes up eight times in this short post, so perhaps you might want to vary it a bit to show other ways to show affection.

As this is my first reading of the book, I wasn't familiar with the names yet and I was first surprised to see Cordero sitting on a bale of hay which give me a double-take because in Spanish "cordero" means lamb. I hope this doesn't portend he will be a sacrificial character.

Missing word here:
Cordero slipped his [arm?] around Alexandra's waist.

In your notes:
'Cord' runs his parents Texas ranch (parents')

 Comment Written 29-Aug-2022


reply by the author on 29-Aug-2022
    I put arm in this morning. I will recheck. Maybe I forgot to save. I will check on the kissing, too. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Anne Johnston
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Thank you for sharing another chapter in your story, it was very interesting. I am glad the mothers intervened to Cord was there when Ali needed him.

 Comment Written 29-Aug-2022


reply by the author on 29-Aug-2022
    I'm glad the mothers did too. I can promise they do it again. LOL
Comment from estory
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There's some decent tension in that meeting between Alan and Alex and Cord, but I'm not sure it wouldn't have been better if they had come to blows. Or at least have someone drag him out of there. He seems hell bent enough to not leave easily. But as always your dialogue is polished, realistic and full of emotion. estory

 Comment Written 29-Aug-2022


reply by the author on 29-Aug-2022
    We will see Alan again. I am not sure coming to blows during a prestigious dinner party would make sense. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
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Sounds like Alexandra is from a wealthy family. The story is getting more interesting with every chapter I read. The fellow, that Alexandra knew from before, sounds a little greedy!

 Comment Written 29-Aug-2022


reply by the author on 29-Aug-2022
    Alan is horrible. We will learn more later. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from judiverse
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Alan must be unhinged to keep insisting Ali is his fiancee. If he's such a stickler for proper dress and manners, it's irrational for him to be making a scene. Probably a good idea for Cord not to personally take matters into his own hands. I hope Alan has left the party for good, although there might be more of him to come. Ali was glad that Cord showed up, although he had to be goaded into going by the mothers. Great chapter. judi

 Comment Written 29-Aug-2022


reply by the author on 29-Aug-2022
    Thank you for the kind review. Alan will show up again.
reply by judiverse on 29-Aug-2022
    You're very welcome. What will it take for Alan to get it through his thick skull that he's no longer engaged to Ali? Curious to see what happens next. judi
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2022
    He does. A lot more will happen.
reply by judiverse on 30-Aug-2022
    You're welcome. You did a great job with the NYC setting. judi
Comment from GARY MACLEAN
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I appreciate your use of italics to simulate thoughts rather than dialogue. It makes reviewing a bit easier.

At ENDING OF PREVIOUS POST:
Line 4: (how's) should be (how) (she's) already incorporates the (is)

AT CHARACTER LIST:
Alexandra Black: Insert either (a) or (the) between (in) and (huge)
Jim: (foremen's) should be (foremen). Same as you have for Bob.
Amy Harding: (Matthew) should be split off as a separate character.

You're funny, I know about the accent thing. Why can't word processor's just do it like it's supposed to be. Or at least give us an "accent" key.

Cordero was quick on his thinking when he said, "I plead the fifth." there was no good answer to Ali's question, and he knew it.

Very sharp on your part. You kept fiance = man and fiancee = woman separate. Most people do not even understand there is a difference.

Great progress. I'm anxious to see what Alan is ultimately going to do about the whole situation.

Great series Barbara.

 Comment Written 29-Aug-2022


reply by the author on 29-Aug-2022
    Thank you for the kind review. I don't worry about the character list. It won't be in the book and isn't in my manuscript.
Comment from Ric Myworld
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Right on the verge of a knock down drag out, I thought. But then, the insults were calmed and Alan was escort out of the party. But for some reason, I just don't think this is where the trouble ends. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 29-Aug-2022


reply by the author on 29-Aug-2022
    I can promise we will see Alan again and yes; he will cause trouble. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Excellent
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After this sample of Alan, I don't know how she could stand him as long as she did. His suggesting she needed an "attitude adjustment" was a clear indication that he had hurt her physically before. It's good that Cord went, but I don't think Allie's problem with Alan is at an end. Is he having financial problems? His behavior suggests that. Only one little problem I noticed, a missing word. Cordero slipped his (arm) around . . .

 Comment Written 28-Aug-2022


reply by the author on 29-Aug-2022
    Thank you for the catch. I've made the correction.
    Yes, Alan will prove how horrible he is. We will see him again.