Quiet Lawyer
Viewing comments for Chapter 32 "Quiet Lawyer Chapter 16 D"Can a broken heart be mended?
27 total reviews
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
Alexandra is going home for a party! I wonder if she'll ever return to Texas? The ice cream shop sounds about like a burger shop that we have around our area.
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2022
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Alexandra is going home for a party! I wonder if she'll ever return to Texas? The ice cream shop sounds about like a burger shop that we have around our area.
Comment Written 29-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2022
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She has to return because she has a meeting on Tuesday. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from eliz100
This is another excellent chapter. There is one tiny error, "you should see the way he looks at jewel (needs cap J). I look forward to the next chapter.
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2022
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This is another excellent chapter. There is one tiny error, "you should see the way he looks at jewel (needs cap J). I look forward to the next chapter.
Comment Written 19-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2022
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I just checked my manuscript. It is capitalized. I will recheck it again. Thank you. I appreciate the help.
Comment from Brett Matthew West
-Seems Alexandra is not so sure about going through customs. May be a confident lawyer, but apprehensive about the customs check.
-Cordero's crack about her New York driver's license confusing the customs agents probably more accurate than he realizes.
-Appears Alexandra still harbors feelings for her ex.
-Shouldn't "in cup" be in a cup?
-"Cordero's shook his head" should be Cordero shook his head.
-Dialogue appears natural for this easy-to-follow storyline.
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2022
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-Seems Alexandra is not so sure about going through customs. May be a confident lawyer, but apprehensive about the customs check.
-Cordero's crack about her New York driver's license confusing the customs agents probably more accurate than he realizes.
-Appears Alexandra still harbors feelings for her ex.
-Shouldn't "in cup" be in a cup?
-"Cordero's shook his head" should be Cordero shook his head.
-Dialogue appears natural for this easy-to-follow storyline.
Comment Written 18-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2022
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It's not really customs at El Paso, but a checkpoint. I'd been through customs before coming to and from Spain and Germany, twice, it's completely different. Ali doesn't have any feelings for her ex other than fear. I've made the corrections. I had to copy and paste to find the 'in cup' correction. I kept over looking it. I appreciate the help.
Comment from Theodore McDowell
Another fine chapter in the book. I just read your profile. Congratulations on the book--Two Tattered Hearts. It sounds exciting and very meaningful. You have a gift for romance novels and writing prose.
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2022
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Another fine chapter in the book. I just read your profile. Congratulations on the book--Two Tattered Hearts. It sounds exciting and very meaningful. You have a gift for romance novels and writing prose.
Comment Written 18-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2022
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Two Tattered Hearts is actually AWOL right now. I don't know what happened to it. My publisher died a few years back from brain cancer. The book was an e-book on Amazon and it's not missing. I've contacted Amazon, no help, I searched by ISBN number and no help. I don't know what to do. I just recently discovered someone else who published with them, and their book is missing too. Anyway, thank you for the kind review.
Comment from GARY MACLEAN
Your initial question: "Will Cordero give his heart to Alexandra?" With the amount of flirting that seems to be going on between these two, I kinda think Alexandra is just going to take it no matter what.
I like, "Julio, wait on mine. It's been my experience we could be here a while." Every man's lament. Just make a choice all ready.
This was a joy to read, there were so few minor errors that I could actually read and enjoy the story rather than keep an eye out for problems. I might suggest using a larger font (maybe 16). It gets a little hard for an old fart like me to read this small of a type after a while.
A couple of observations however:
Para 51: (Blackberry Marble in cup.") I THINK you need to add an (a) between (in) and (cup)
Para 66, 1st sentence: (Cordero's) should be (Cordero)
Para 79: Mi hijo is indeed Spanish for Son but Mijo is Spanish for pal or buddy or dear or darling, not Son.
CHARACTER LIST:
Alexandra Black: SUGGEST Adding (their, or the) between (in) and (huge)
Jim: (foremen's) should be (foremen)
Amy Harding: SUGGEST removing (her son, Matthew) from Amy's description. Then add a Character listing for (Matthew: Amy's son.)
I sense a real romance budding and I think Jim is going to be instrumental in getting things going. Great story. I will have to go back and try to catch up.
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2022
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Your initial question: "Will Cordero give his heart to Alexandra?" With the amount of flirting that seems to be going on between these two, I kinda think Alexandra is just going to take it no matter what.
I like, "Julio, wait on mine. It's been my experience we could be here a while." Every man's lament. Just make a choice all ready.
This was a joy to read, there were so few minor errors that I could actually read and enjoy the story rather than keep an eye out for problems. I might suggest using a larger font (maybe 16). It gets a little hard for an old fart like me to read this small of a type after a while.
A couple of observations however:
Para 51: (Blackberry Marble in cup.") I THINK you need to add an (a) between (in) and (cup)
Para 66, 1st sentence: (Cordero's) should be (Cordero)
Para 79: Mi hijo is indeed Spanish for Son but Mijo is Spanish for pal or buddy or dear or darling, not Son.
CHARACTER LIST:
Alexandra Black: SUGGEST Adding (their, or the) between (in) and (huge)
Jim: (foremen's) should be (foremen)
Amy Harding: SUGGEST removing (her son, Matthew) from Amy's description. Then add a Character listing for (Matthew: Amy's son.)
I sense a real romance budding and I think Jim is going to be instrumental in getting things going. Great story. I will have to go back and try to catch up.
Comment Written 17-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2022
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Thank you for the help. I will get right on that. I figured Matthew was such a minor character, I could get by with it. The character list is only for my new readers. It won't be in my novel. In this area Mijo is also used for son, although probably not proper.
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Most of my Suggestions were just that, suggestions. I come into this tale with no backstory and little knowledge of the characters, plot or scene, so I just tried to make out what I could.
Still a great story.
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You did great.
Comment from Ulla
Another great chapter, Barbara and I'm looking forward to reading on. Something is brewing.
I'm sorry, I'm distracted. The fires are out of control and threatening us to all. Close by more than 2500 people have been evacuated. Here we still have our bags packed ready to go. I'm sending an update for all to read. Ulla xxx
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2022
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Another great chapter, Barbara and I'm looking forward to reading on. Something is brewing.
I'm sorry, I'm distracted. The fires are out of control and threatening us to all. Close by more than 2500 people have been evacuated. Here we still have our bags packed ready to go. I'm sending an update for all to read. Ulla xxx
Comment Written 16-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2022
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Thank you for taking time to read. I am still praying.
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Thanks. I think we all need it!!!
Comment from John Ciarmello
Oh, no! Ali is returning to the city, thinking her ex will try to reach her. I'm surprised she didn't ask cord to go with her. Perhaps there is something brewing in the next chapter? Best, JohnC
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2022
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Oh, no! Ali is returning to the city, thinking her ex will try to reach her. I'm surprised she didn't ask cord to go with her. Perhaps there is something brewing in the next chapter? Best, JohnC
Comment Written 16-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2022
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Something is brewing. Ali didn't invite him because he's mentioned how much he hates cities. Things will get interesting.
Comment from Wayne Fowler
I was too busy reading to find errors. Good work.
I know you are building the romantic suspense, but it's hard to imagine why Cord and Ali's kissing would be interrupted by a non-emergency such as a mare going to foal in a 'day, or two'.
Best wishes.
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2022
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I was too busy reading to find errors. Good work.
I know you are building the romantic suspense, but it's hard to imagine why Cord and Ali's kissing would be interrupted by a non-emergency such as a mare going to foal in a 'day, or two'.
Best wishes.
Comment Written 16-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2022
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Cord wants the first real kiss to be special. We'll discover that later. I can promise it's headed that direction. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Ric Myworld
Well, now you've gone and done it. I drop in to get a dose of weekly entertainment and then you start talking about banana splits. Now, I'm counting the minutes until Dairy Queen opens. LOL. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2022
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Well, now you've gone and done it. I drop in to get a dose of weekly entertainment and then you start talking about banana splits. Now, I'm counting the minutes until Dairy Queen opens. LOL. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 16-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2022
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LOL Thank you. I think Cord and I happen to really like ice cream. Can I come too?
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Of course, I can't think of a more lovely afternoon, spending it eating ice cream and talking about writing. :-)
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I agree.
Comment from Sanku
the ice cream eating was fun to read. starting from one end and going to the other to taste each flavour is a good idea. A short parting is necessary and when she comes back I am sure their love will be stronger..
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2022
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the ice cream eating was fun to read. starting from one end and going to the other to taste each flavour is a good idea. A short parting is necessary and when she comes back I am sure their love will be stronger..
Comment Written 16-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2022
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Thank you for the kind review and we'll see what happens.
