Reviews from

The Sperm Donor, Susan's Story

Part IV, The conclusion.

34 total reviews 
Comment from royowen
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Wow what a great twist to the story, a former boyfriend of Susan who is in a relationship with Gail, gave birth to Chet, the natural son of Sam, with all his cleverness, his own investigator, was his son, this is a unique story, at least in my experience, well done Terry, great writing, blessings Roy

 Comment Written 05-Aug-2022


reply by the author on 05-Aug-2022
    Roy, thank you for the wonderful review. I appreciate it very much. Terry
reply by royowen on 05-Aug-2022
    Well done
Comment from Sandra Nelms-Ludwig
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

OMG!! OMG!! OMG!! What a wonderful twist you have done with this story. Mr. Terry, please write one short snippet about him returning to the office. Please also reconsider blending the stories into one unless you keep what made each installment special. Dag! blasted I am giving you my very last 6!! Prost! to a story that has been so well-done.

 Comment Written 05-Aug-2022


reply by the author on 05-Aug-2022
    Sandra, thank you so much for the six stars!!! I am sure you caught the cliche that was added after your comment. I will condense it to one story. I think, for now, I am just going to leave it alone, but we will see. Terry.
reply by Sandra Nelms-Ludwig on 05-Aug-2022
    You are welcome! Well-deserved. I hate that the stories in that series are complete. I loved them!!
Comment from John Ciarmello
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I'll take that twist any day, Terry. You did a great job with this chapter, and the story as a whole is getting exciting and falling into place quite well. I'm a big believer in a little bit of recap, which allows you more room in the current chapter for extras without making it too long. My thoughts anyway, loved it!

 Comment Written 05-Aug-2022


reply by the author on 05-Aug-2022
    John, thank you for the review. I don't know if I will do more of this type, but it was fun. Terry.
Comment from Judy Lawless
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Well done, Terry! I like the surprise ending, Sam received. He was his investigator's father? Where did that idea come from? Very unique. I enjoyed reading it all. Hope to see more fiction from you.

 Comment Written 05-Aug-2022


reply by the author on 05-Aug-2022
    Judy, the idea and method is explained in the notes at the bottom of the story, you might take a look as you may enjoy knowing how and where this came from. Thank you for the review. Terry.
Comment from amahra
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I just read part 111 and now this one. I love the story but felt Susan was a little too arrogant about dumping him and deliberately using his sperm. Did she really have to say "dumped"? I understand she wanted to protect his privacy, which was noble, but she just sounded rude. Of course, this is just my opinion, and you can write your characters as you'd like. I will continue to support this story even if you keep Susan as is. Great job! Looking forward to more storylines.

 Comment Written 05-Aug-2022


reply by the author on 05-Aug-2022
    Amahra, Thank you for the super sixer! Look at Susan's story now and see if it works better. I thought your input was excellent.

    If you have time, I would be interested if you could look at parts I and II, especially II, Leslie's Story. That installment had a little different kind of interaction any input would be welcomed. Thank you, Terry.
reply by amahra on 05-Aug-2022
    I can't promise, but I'll try. I have an eye condition and try to read those who read me. But sometimes read those who don't just because I like the stories. Many poets don't read me, but I read them just the same because the poems are not as long as chapters or short stories. But I'll try. I do, however, have software that reads for me, but it won't pick most sprags.
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2022
    Thank you, Terry.
Comment from Annmuma
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This is the best of the series! It has a perfect ending that would allow you to continue toward a novel -- if you wanted!!

The scene is set, the characters are built and every reader will love them
- even the sperm donor. So many directions you could take this story.

Terry, I'm not just saying that to snow you -- it is absolutely the truth as I see it: You could write a best seller -- it might take a little while or it might just flow from your brain/heart, through your fingers to the page. But it sounds to me like a great a way to spend a lot of time enjoying life.

Just my thought! --- You know, I always have to have some goal, some 'I've got to do it' out in front of me. Maybe I'm just trying to put one there for you. Not intended.

But isn't it nice that you are writing so well that you could do anything you want to with it! I love the story.

ann

 Comment Written 05-Aug-2022


reply by the author on 05-Aug-2022
    Ann, thank you for the six stars!!! I don't know about a novel, but it is very kind of you to think that. We will see. Terry.
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This part is a great ending to your first longer story. Novel rendering of a similar start, ending with a total surprise to Sam. So when you combine all four in the final version, I look forward to seeing a long short story that I expect to be very fine. Put a few very different ones of these together and you will have an excellent publishable product in my opinion. I am really sad you chose to post this at the end of a Friday, when my sixes were long gone, but the thought is there. Kate xx

 Comment Written 05-Aug-2022


reply by the author on 05-Aug-2022
    Kate, thank you for reading and reviewing, we will see where it goes. Terry.
Comment from nomi338
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This is a wonderful, feel good type of story. It has certainly given me a case of the feelies. I could not hold back the smiles as I read the end part of the story. I am further encouraged to write a true story concerning my four years in the US Air Force. There are parts that are chilling to me in retrospect. Parts that kind of took place somewhat above my ability to totally comprehend at the time. I really want to tell it, but I am torn. Actually a portion of the story is already on the site, but the troubling part has been left out until now. So, the question now is, should I or should I not tell the story.

 Comment Written 05-Aug-2022


reply by the author on 05-Aug-2022
    Nomi, thank you for the six stars!!! you should go write that story, I for one would be interested in reading it. Thanks for the review. Terry.
Comment from jessizero
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I had the best time reading this series. I definitely did not see that last bit coming. You did a great job with the twist! Thank you so much for sharing, and best wishes to you.

 Comment Written 05-Aug-2022


reply by the author on 05-Aug-2022
    Jessi, I am delighted you liked the twist! thank you for reading and reviewing. Terry.
Comment from LJbutterfly
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Wow! You got me! I hate to be able to guess an outcome, and hate it even more when I'm right. I never saw this ending coming. I enjoyed being surprised. Plus, your ending is satisfying with all the ends tied up and closed out. Welcome to the world of pure fiction.

 Comment Written 05-Aug-2022


reply by the author on 05-Aug-2022
    I love the six stars!!! Thank you very much for reading, reviewing and enjoying the story. Terry.