The Path to Freedom
Freeing one's self to express35 total reviews
Comment from mrsmajor
Good Morning,
The Sonnet form is one I happen to enjoy, perhaps not in the literary sense that you produced here, as I found your poem a perfect example of the form.
"Self expression" has always been my desire realizing that there will always be those that may not agree with me..or even the way I choose to put my pen to paper.
You write for self, and that's clear. Your words are unclothed, unbidden, often used realizing that some might just make the reader pause.
The one thing that does allow me to hesitate as I create a piece, is the idea that I might not be truthful (with myself) in what I have written...and so I must be who I am as I write.
This was the first of your pieces I have tried to review..I do realize, that even as an very old English teacher, there's a lot I haven't learned about the art of story telling...lol...
Wonderfully written, and a clear example of self expression, and a willingness to be one's self..
Now, I could be all wrong about my thoughts, but I enjoyed reading this well written Sonnet, it's one of my favorite forms. A 6 star piece indeed...
All the Best to you,
Warmly,
Victoria
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2022
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Good Morning,
The Sonnet form is one I happen to enjoy, perhaps not in the literary sense that you produced here, as I found your poem a perfect example of the form.
"Self expression" has always been my desire realizing that there will always be those that may not agree with me..or even the way I choose to put my pen to paper.
You write for self, and that's clear. Your words are unclothed, unbidden, often used realizing that some might just make the reader pause.
The one thing that does allow me to hesitate as I create a piece, is the idea that I might not be truthful (with myself) in what I have written...and so I must be who I am as I write.
This was the first of your pieces I have tried to review..I do realize, that even as an very old English teacher, there's a lot I haven't learned about the art of story telling...lol...
Wonderfully written, and a clear example of self expression, and a willingness to be one's self..
Now, I could be all wrong about my thoughts, but I enjoyed reading this well written Sonnet, it's one of my favorite forms. A 6 star piece indeed...
All the Best to you,
Warmly,
Victoria
Comment Written 25-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2022
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Thank you so much, Victoria :-). I really appreciate the time taken to share your thoughts with me. My poetry does tend towards the obscure (though I'm always careful to ensure they make sense). I have tried to write more straightforward pieces but it doesn't come naturally. As you say, we should always try to be true to ourselves.
I get the full gamut of responses - from those who love the complex language to others who resent having to look words up and think I'm showing off (I probably am, a little, but this is what I love to write!).
I'm hugely thankful to you for this lovely review.
Mike
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You're very welcome, Mike, it was my pleasure...In a way you remind me of ee cummings, my very favorite poet, he had his own way of putting his pen to paper, at a time when he wasn't exactly accepted..and yet he's considered a poet to be admired.
In the 17 years (10/04) that I've been on this site, I've never reached the top few, haven't won many contests, and don't get that many reviews to my pieces, but with every piece I do post, it's truly Me!
That's what makes me happy. There are a few that do enjoy my poems, and I value their reviews, and comments.
Years ago there was a writer name Alvin T, here and he was also a man that wrote for himself, yet he was a darn good teacher too..and I learned a lot from him..Sadly he passed away, but I'm sure there are some here, (that have been around for a while) that do remember him.
Don't change the way you write, enjoy the way you create a piece of prose, or a poem...Be true to self...first!
Great Big Hugs!
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Thank you :-). I think I remember Alvin from my earlier time on site - he was harsh but honest with his reviews, and always fair.
I really appreciate the encouragement :-)
Mike
Comment from giraffmang
Hi Mike,
I laughed at the first word. nothing to do with the poem but it's one of those words you get pilloried for in prose. It's also one of the words my dad used to dare me to write into my essays in school.
There's a great flow and rhythm at play here. Great word choice.
G
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2022
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Hi Mike,
I laughed at the first word. nothing to do with the poem but it's one of those words you get pilloried for in prose. It's also one of the words my dad used to dare me to write into my essays in school.
There's a great flow and rhythm at play here. Great word choice.
G
Comment Written 22-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2022
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Lol, pretentious, right? :-). I thought it worked well for a poem all about poetic knots. So glad you liked it.
Mike
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Here's the line from my essay on Hamlet - Could he possibly comprehend the magnitude of the situation within which he was encompassed, perchance? or Did he know what he was doing...
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Awesome :-). I hope you founds way to use mayhap, betwixt, and methinks as well!
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I may just incorporate them all in my next piece to see if anyone notices...
Comment from kahpot
"my bonds, they take the form of blocking thoughts" we all seem to doubt ourselves at some time or other, "emancipating dreams" we must have dreams to inspire ourselves, what an exceptional read, poem, and message, very well written and I hope to see more****kahpot
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2022
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"my bonds, they take the form of blocking thoughts" we all seem to doubt ourselves at some time or other, "emancipating dreams" we must have dreams to inspire ourselves, what an exceptional read, poem, and message, very well written and I hope to see more****kahpot
Comment Written 22-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2022
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Thank you so much :-). I was worried I'd gone a bit too obscure with this one, but most responses have been great. So glad you liked it!
Mike
Comment from tfawcus
I enjoyed reading your Shakespearean sonnet, partly because of its perfect form and partly because of the message within. I had to chew over the meaning in places, for instance when you speak of poison being fed to snakes - an arresting thought when one considers the reversal and what it might signify.
I hadn't previously heard of peritropal. Its use here is arresting. Wisdom is often gained by circling a problem and looking at it from all sides.
Nicely done. Its good to read a poem with some meat in it.
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2022
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I enjoyed reading your Shakespearean sonnet, partly because of its perfect form and partly because of the message within. I had to chew over the meaning in places, for instance when you speak of poison being fed to snakes - an arresting thought when one considers the reversal and what it might signify.
I hadn't previously heard of peritropal. Its use here is arresting. Wisdom is often gained by circling a problem and looking at it from all sides.
Nicely done. Its good to read a poem with some meat in it.
Comment Written 21-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2022
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Thanks so much, Tony :-). I got a bit of stick for the long words and complex phrasing, but it's the sort of poetry I love to write! I think any good poem can be considered and seen from multiple viewpoints / interpretations.
You're the first person who's found what peritropal means - I hadn't realised it was so obscure!
You've cheered me up immensely this morning.
Mike
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Yes, of course, you should write what is important to
you, Mike, regardless of any/all critics. Some people
just like to make others feel bad in order to make
themselves feel better. Your poem is well thought
out with precise words, some internal rhymes, great
image and color scheme, and a perfect message for
all.
Thanks for sharing, Jan
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2022
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Yes, of course, you should write what is important to
you, Mike, regardless of any/all critics. Some people
just like to make others feel bad in order to make
themselves feel better. Your poem is well thought
out with precise words, some internal rhymes, great
image and color scheme, and a perfect message for
all.
Thanks for sharing, Jan
Comment Written 21-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2022
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Thank you, Jan :-). Your words mean a lot.
Mike
Comment from Lilly Flowers
This struck me as a contemplation about writing. You speak to verse as a sort of releasing. Your word choices are quite unique and reflect the time and effort you put into writing this. Regards, Lilly
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2022
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This struck me as a contemplation about writing. You speak to verse as a sort of releasing. Your word choices are quite unique and reflect the time and effort you put into writing this. Regards, Lilly
Comment Written 21-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2022
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Thank you, Lilly. Indeed, this was all about how we get in our own way but we can transcend it with our words :-)
Mike
Comment from Kevin McNeany
This had to be a six. You are a remarkable writer of superb intellect. I absolutely love this and it is awe inspiring to see how well you handle the poem, with expertise and a deep drive to create exquisite rhyme. I really loved this it has to be six from me, well done your are a massive talent as is obviously shown by your well deserved seal of quality. Kindest regards Kevin.
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2022
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This had to be a six. You are a remarkable writer of superb intellect. I absolutely love this and it is awe inspiring to see how well you handle the poem, with expertise and a deep drive to create exquisite rhyme. I really loved this it has to be six from me, well done your are a massive talent as is obviously shown by your well deserved seal of quality. Kindest regards Kevin.
Comment Written 21-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2022
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Thanks so much, Kevin - what an amazing complement! I'm so glad you liked this piece. It was very much one I 'felt' while I was writing it.
Mike
Comment from Wendy G
There is a constant self-censoring when one is writing. If one writes only for self there is more freedom, but also vulnerability to hurt when others do not understand or accept, or take offence - and give poor reviews. If one writes only to please others, there is often compromise. There is that tension within the writer - exactly how creative and imaginative is one truly able to be and allowed to be. Basically my decision has been to never publish anything which I would feel ashamed of later, either in theme or quality of writing, and never to be untrue to who I am as a person. I think in your poem you have set yourself free from all bonds, which is freeing and liberating.
Wendy
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2022
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There is a constant self-censoring when one is writing. If one writes only for self there is more freedom, but also vulnerability to hurt when others do not understand or accept, or take offence - and give poor reviews. If one writes only to please others, there is often compromise. There is that tension within the writer - exactly how creative and imaginative is one truly able to be and allowed to be. Basically my decision has been to never publish anything which I would feel ashamed of later, either in theme or quality of writing, and never to be untrue to who I am as a person. I think in your poem you have set yourself free from all bonds, which is freeing and liberating.
Wendy
Comment Written 21-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2022
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Thank you, Wendy. I knew you'd understand :-). I've always believed there should be no limits in writing fiction, and I still do, and as you say, that leaves us with what we're willing to stand beside. When I wrote my blind piece for the recent Erotic contest, I did wonder if it would change perceptions at all when the names were revealed. Still, when someone in the forum said they didn't want to know who some of the authors were, and suggested pseudonyms, I had to respond that I'd proudly stand by my work - if I couldn't say that, I wouldn't have posted it.
Which is a long way of saying I agree, lol :-)
Mike
Comment from dragonpoet
Mike,
I like all the cross rhyme in this Shakespearean sonnet about maybe how writing can set you free, or at least your thoughts.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Joan
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2022
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Mike,
I like all the cross rhyme in this Shakespearean sonnet about maybe how writing can set you free, or at least your thoughts.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Joan
Comment Written 20-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2022
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Thank you, Joan :-). I enjoyed tye challenge of meeting that additional rhyme requirement whilst trying to avoid it sounding forced. So glad you liked it!
Mike
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You?re welcome, Mike. You did it well.
Joan
Comment from karenina
I think this is brilliantly penned. Your sonnet is enhanced by the internal rhymes throughout...which seem to flow naturally and enhance the presentation of the poem.
Like a broken record I will state again that there is no one correct way to interpret a poem. No wrong way, therefore.
For me, this is an emancipating creed for every writer! It is difficult, at times, to recognize that we're self-censoring as our words flow onto the page.
Who will be offended? What feathers will we ruffle? Is this "too much" or are we allowing ourselves to be swayed by what the reviews may say?
ON occasion, when the muse is silent, I go to WORD and power type. I pound out my thoughts, emotions, ideas, anger, angst, joy, fantasies, and nightmares and allow myself that untethered joy of writing for the sheer thrill of it!
In the end, we cannot write for stars, nor for ranking, nor for affirmation by others.
If not true to ourselves, what have we accomplished?
Obscenity is the silencing of a creative mind.
Karenina
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2022
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I think this is brilliantly penned. Your sonnet is enhanced by the internal rhymes throughout...which seem to flow naturally and enhance the presentation of the poem.
Like a broken record I will state again that there is no one correct way to interpret a poem. No wrong way, therefore.
For me, this is an emancipating creed for every writer! It is difficult, at times, to recognize that we're self-censoring as our words flow onto the page.
Who will be offended? What feathers will we ruffle? Is this "too much" or are we allowing ourselves to be swayed by what the reviews may say?
ON occasion, when the muse is silent, I go to WORD and power type. I pound out my thoughts, emotions, ideas, anger, angst, joy, fantasies, and nightmares and allow myself that untethered joy of writing for the sheer thrill of it!
In the end, we cannot write for stars, nor for ranking, nor for affirmation by others.
If not true to ourselves, what have we accomplished?
Obscenity is the silencing of a creative mind.
Karenina
Comment Written 20-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2022
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One hundred percent with you on the correctness of I terpretstions, and I loved reading yours. It's such a thrill, to know how one's words have come across to others. You've plumbed the words for all the things I was trying to convey, and I can't thank you enough :-)
Mike
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Ah, the alchemy of kindred spirits! Nothing like it!
