Reviews from

Quiet Lawyer

Viewing comments for Chapter 27 "Quiet Lawyer Chapter 14"
Can a broken heart be mended?

23 total reviews 
Comment from eliz100
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is another excellent chapter. You moved the story along nicely. You are bringing the relationship between Cord and Ali along nicely. I do not see any need for improvement.

 Comment Written 15-Jul-2022


reply by the author on 15-Jul-2022
    Thank you for the kind review. I'm sorry you had to read it with no money attached.
Comment from Alyssa Wilson
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is the first of your work that I have read, and I enjoyed it very much! It made me want to read more. I will have to go visit your portfolio and snoop around lol! I wish that I had some critic to give you here, but I really can't find anything. Good luck!

 Comment Written 14-Jul-2022


reply by the author on 14-Jul-2022
    Thank you for dropping by and leaving this kind review. I hope you return.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Excellent
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This moved along briskly as it should with the confrontation impending. Well done and the action is lining up. Now it both of them can survive it would make for a great story.

 Comment Written 14-Jul-2022


reply by the author on 14-Jul-2022
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Fleedleflump
Excellent
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This was a lovely, gentle chapter as we got to see the deepening of their relationship and the affection they hold for one another. I like the overriding theme of protection, whether it's between people or just the ability of the edge of the bed to protect against storms :-).

I very much enjoyed.

Mike

Spag notes:

'Inside Alexandra glanced around.' - I'd be inclined to put a comma after 'Inside'

'Tuesday security cameras will be installed.' - I'd say there should be a comma after 'Tuesday'

 Comment Written 12-Jul-2022


reply by the author on 12-Jul-2022
    Thank you for the kind review. I will check those missing comma's out.
Comment from Ric Myworld
Excellent
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I guess it's gotten to the times when security cameras need to be everywhere, even in stories. More bad guys than good guys it would seem. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 11-Jul-2022


reply by the author on 12-Jul-2022
    Security cameras will help further in the story. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from lancellot
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Well written, nothing I could see in your construction of this chapter. Having Rogers (your bad guy) get his again by Ali will make women and feminists happy. That's the good, if they are your audience.

Now the bad.

Correct me if I'm wrong. I may be. But isn't Rogers a serial rapist, conspired to kidnap and possibly kill Amy. Why would Ali, an intelligent lawyer, find this man's Ex and child, then reconnect them to get money from Rogers after what, ten years? And the only response from Cord, is "This will make him angrier." (You think? Rogers is evil, has no regard for human life (females).

I'm not trying to poke holes, but why would Ali do such a ridiculously dangerous thing to Amy and her child? Or how will Rogers have any money after all the lawsuits and possibly prison time.

And Cord and Ali blushing about spending time alone, and that entire paragraph does not fit normal adults. I know, it is your way, but it may hurt come sale or publishing time for a romance novel.

 Comment Written 11-Jul-2022


reply by the author on 11-Jul-2022
    I can promise I have it all worked out. You will see as it plays out. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from estory
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

As always, the dialogue is lively and realistic, laced with subtle emotions, and this chapter had lots of polish on it, hence the six. You are painting a portrait of a determined young man who is trying to crack a bit of a tough nut in this quiet lawyer. But she does seem to be warming up to him, gingerly and then more so. This is also very visual and I could see all this taking place as if it were on TV. Not far off from being a good tv script. estory

 Comment Written 11-Jul-2022


reply by the author on 11-Jul-2022
    Thank you for the encouragement.
Comment from Shirley McLain
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I know I'm late, but here is your six for the week. Another tension building chapter, and I can't wait to read more, but you insist that I do. :) Great job as always. Have a blessed day. Shirley

 Comment Written 11-Jul-2022


reply by the author on 11-Jul-2022
    Yes, I do insist you read more. LOL Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Anne Johnston
Excellent
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Glad Ali has heard from Amy and hope everything goes well when she meets with her. You are certainly building up suspense, now knowing what will happen next.

 Comment Written 11-Jul-2022


reply by the author on 11-Jul-2022
    Thank you for the kind review.
reply by Anne Johnston on 11-Jul-2022
    You are welcome
Comment from John Ciarmello
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

It seems the tensions will be building between Ali and Rogers. They all seem well protected, but I guess we will have to wait and see for sure. This is a great chapter. Best, JohnC.

 Comment Written 11-Jul-2022


reply by the author on 11-Jul-2022
    Thank you for the kind review.