The Contours of Sparks
A mildly sci-fi, wildly erotic, slightly horrifying tale22 total reviews
Comment from K.L. Rockquemore
I need a cigarette!!!
This piece was graphic, alarming, provocative, stimulating, alluring, raunchy, and disturbing.
Your writing is wildly descriptive so much so that I could feel sensations while reading.
The phraseology is excellent as is, although not poetry, the metre. This reads like a lyrical thriller, both of which I love.
You were most successful at building tension and then releasing it at the very end, much like the lovers from above.
An erotic piece that should create an interesting dinner conversation.
Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2022
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I need a cigarette!!!
This piece was graphic, alarming, provocative, stimulating, alluring, raunchy, and disturbing.
Your writing is wildly descriptive so much so that I could feel sensations while reading.
The phraseology is excellent as is, although not poetry, the metre. This reads like a lyrical thriller, both of which I love.
You were most successful at building tension and then releasing it at the very end, much like the lovers from above.
An erotic piece that should create an interesting dinner conversation.
Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 08-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2022
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Thank you :-). I'm so glad this came over well, as it's definitely not my usual genre.
Mike
Comment from Bill Schott
Whew! Erotica makes me sweat. This was well told with that neat technological twist that follows the predicted path until the switch of players. Wow!
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2022
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Whew! Erotica makes me sweat. This was well told with that neat technological twist that follows the predicted path until the switch of players. Wow!
Comment Written 08-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2022
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Haha, thank you :-). Definitely not the sort of thing I usually write so I'm glad it came out well. I don't know whether I'm relieved that my name will now display next to it as the contest's finished!
Mike
Comment from irishauthorme
Hey, actually, this is mucho erotico, but very well written!
The main scenes were hot and sweaty, but what else is great sex? To have a playmate who tells you what she is experiencing is definitely an added Big Plus.
The earbuds were a great idea-and maybe not so far in the future?
I think a pretty accurate description of the quirky emotions caused by a switch in sexes. Cannot imagine the violation sensation, but think you covered that well.
You should have done pretty well in the contest. Win?
Good wrok,
irish
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2022
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Hey, actually, this is mucho erotico, but very well written!
The main scenes were hot and sweaty, but what else is great sex? To have a playmate who tells you what she is experiencing is definitely an added Big Plus.
The earbuds were a great idea-and maybe not so far in the future?
I think a pretty accurate description of the quirky emotions caused by a switch in sexes. Cannot imagine the violation sensation, but think you covered that well.
You should have done pretty well in the contest. Win?
Good wrok,
irish
Comment Written 08-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2022
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Thank you, Irish :-). It's not my usual style but I wanted to have a go at the contest. I think you're right- we may not be far off thos stuff.
Comment from Olivanne Marsh
Wow, this is well written, but very specific...you kinda took my breath away, but with the plot twist, there is a lot of electricity and shock that isn't erotic. What I think I am trying to say, is it's well done, a little graphic for my usual taste and yet, I kept reading and the tone wasn't too much for the story. I am not sure I like the end, you do such a good job of the set-up, I think as a reader I wanted a stronger more conclusive end. Plus, I realized the protagonist is a man, so we get the switch in roles from a male perspective, but I wonder what it would be like if there was some hint of how the switch affected the female. Was she horrified, scared, shocked too? And was the change temporary or forever? I guess the real horror is they don't know what's going to happen. Also, the brief and somewhat unrealized referral to transgender experience is intriguing...what you don't really address in that regard is the matter of choice. Your characters make a choice to experience sex from another perspective; transgender people are born the way they are due to a breakdown in communication between the brain and the body in the womb. They don't have a choice. That, I suppose would be a whole different story. Did I enjoy the read? Not exactly, but I liked there story and I found the writing superb.
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2022
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Wow, this is well written, but very specific...you kinda took my breath away, but with the plot twist, there is a lot of electricity and shock that isn't erotic. What I think I am trying to say, is it's well done, a little graphic for my usual taste and yet, I kept reading and the tone wasn't too much for the story. I am not sure I like the end, you do such a good job of the set-up, I think as a reader I wanted a stronger more conclusive end. Plus, I realized the protagonist is a man, so we get the switch in roles from a male perspective, but I wonder what it would be like if there was some hint of how the switch affected the female. Was she horrified, scared, shocked too? And was the change temporary or forever? I guess the real horror is they don't know what's going to happen. Also, the brief and somewhat unrealized referral to transgender experience is intriguing...what you don't really address in that regard is the matter of choice. Your characters make a choice to experience sex from another perspective; transgender people are born the way they are due to a breakdown in communication between the brain and the body in the womb. They don't have a choice. That, I suppose would be a whole different story. Did I enjoy the read? Not exactly, but I liked there story and I found the writing superb.
Comment Written 08-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2022
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Tha k you - I'm really glad you enjoyed the read :-). I did wonder about including the trans line. I'd never claim to understand the experience of something so personal when I don't feel it myself, but I thought it could be a moment of insight for a character, at least just to make them think for a moment.
I don't write much erotica, but I wanted to do it properly, and to then put a spin on things.
Comment from dmt1967
I don't usually read stories like this but, once I started, I couldn't stop. I think the first paragraph over usage of the word 'her' was a bit much but apart from that, it was brilliant. Good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing. Have a great weekend.
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2022
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I don't usually read stories like this but, once I started, I couldn't stop. I think the first paragraph over usage of the word 'her' was a bit much but apart from that, it was brilliant. Good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing. Have a great weekend.
Comment Written 08-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2022
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It's okay - I don't usually write stories like this, so we're even :-). Thanks so much for the awesome review. You've given me a huge boost this hot Friday evening.
Comment from blondie560
This was certainly different. The first part was hot and steamy. Very descriptive and oozing eroticism. I got lost on the second part, mostly because I don't grasp technology and I can't picture the scene in my head. I wonder why the guy isn't enjoying the switch in roles. Do you know you are a man and a woman? I felt like he was grossed out by what he would have done to his partner. Maybe I'm reading it wrong.
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2022
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This was certainly different. The first part was hot and steamy. Very descriptive and oozing eroticism. I got lost on the second part, mostly because I don't grasp technology and I can't picture the scene in my head. I wonder why the guy isn't enjoying the switch in roles. Do you know you are a man and a woman? I felt like he was grossed out by what he would have done to his partner. Maybe I'm reading it wrong.
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 07-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2022
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Thank you :-). Yes, the second part is designed to be the guy not being able to accept the feeling of playing the other role. I was inspired by something I read about Picasso being horrified by what he saw as the violence of sex and penetration. Perhaps, we're just not meant to know how things feel to other people.
Comment from Kevin McNeany
Very very sexually charged and erotic but that's the competition right? It is fabulously done, very VERY descriptive and I think it will do very well and possibly get you a win. Very well done and good luck kindest regards Kevin.
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2022
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Very very sexually charged and erotic but that's the competition right? It is fabulously done, very VERY descriptive and I think it will do very well and possibly get you a win. Very well done and good luck kindest regards Kevin.
Comment Written 07-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2022
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Thanks so much, Kevin :-). It's definitely not my usual genre, but I figured I might as well go all in, as it were!
Comment from GARY MACLEAN
Wow, what a story, what an imagination. Are you sure two warnings are enough??? The first half get me all up and going. In fact, I found a couple minor observations, but I couldn't stop to write them I had to keep reading.
Then we come to the second half. I was almost defeated until I saw what you were describing. Unbelievable, I think that is really possible. I could be her and she could be me. Good? Bad? Who knows? I know I am the guy today and I prefer it that way, but you pose a real dilemma.
Amazing tale, well worth every one of the six-stars I am giving you.
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2022
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Wow, what a story, what an imagination. Are you sure two warnings are enough??? The first half get me all up and going. In fact, I found a couple minor observations, but I couldn't stop to write them I had to keep reading.
Then we come to the second half. I was almost defeated until I saw what you were describing. Unbelievable, I think that is really possible. I could be her and she could be me. Good? Bad? Who knows? I know I am the guy today and I prefer it that way, but you pose a real dilemma.
Amazing tale, well worth every one of the six-stars I am giving you.
Comment Written 07-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2022
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Thanks so much, Gary! I don't write much erotic stuff, but I wanted it to be honest and sexy without being crass. I also wanted to make sure there was some plot and character development, since some of the other contest entries are just sex scenes.
Not sure I could write many like this, but I don't mind admitting I enjoyed it :-)
Comment from RPSaxena
Hello Friend,
MARVELOUS piece of Mature Fiction having lucid as well as PERFECTLY matching the theme phraseology, CAPTIVATING flow throughout from the very beginning up to the end, and TRANSPARENTLY depicting the scenes, situations, and the characters as well.
It's just like a LIVE description / demonstration!
BEST OF LUCK in the contest.
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2022
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Hello Friend,
MARVELOUS piece of Mature Fiction having lucid as well as PERFECTLY matching the theme phraseology, CAPTIVATING flow throughout from the very beginning up to the end, and TRANSPARENTLY depicting the scenes, situations, and the characters as well.
It's just like a LIVE description / demonstration!
BEST OF LUCK in the contest.
Comment Written 07-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2022
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Thanks so much! I don't mind admitting, I enjoyed writing this one. I don't write many erotic scenes, but if it's worth doing, it's worth doing right :-). My main focus was on avoiding too much 'obvious' language - I read scenes that use pussy and cock a lot, and it just makes it funny to me, so I spent most of my time just avoiding that! Thanks for the awesome response :-)
Mike
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Mike, Most Welcome!
With best wishes,
~ RP
Comment from Michele Harber
Wow! I don't read romance novels, and I'm certainly not into porn, but I eagerly read every word of your story. What made this rise above the norm is that it doesn't just read as erotica or lust. There seems to be genuine feeling between the couple and, also, a familiarity. Beyond that, of course, your accurate and detailed descriptions will leave readers of both genders sweating.
Your sci-fi twist of the device letting each participant feel what the other would feel is ingenious and totally original. It turns what might just be a description of sexual encounters into an interesting and thought-provoking story. Well done!
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2022
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Wow! I don't read romance novels, and I'm certainly not into porn, but I eagerly read every word of your story. What made this rise above the norm is that it doesn't just read as erotica or lust. There seems to be genuine feeling between the couple and, also, a familiarity. Beyond that, of course, your accurate and detailed descriptions will leave readers of both genders sweating.
Your sci-fi twist of the device letting each participant feel what the other would feel is ingenious and totally original. It turns what might just be a description of sexual encounters into an interesting and thought-provoking story. Well done!
Comment Written 06-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2022
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Thanks so much Michele :-). I'm thrilled with your response because that was exactly what I was going for - intense and sexy but not porn. I also think sex is so much better with someone you know and love, so I wanted to reflect that.
Mike
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I agree with you totally on all counts, and your feelings were definitely reflected in your writing. At the risk of sounding sexist, it's very refreshing to see a man who feels this way.
