The Last Mouthful
Antics at the dinner table20 total reviews
Comment from Julcia
WOW! Talk about creative approaches to contest topics. Bravo! A tightly
developed tale which kept me hollering for my seat at that table. Consumption
Club indeed! With tail to snout cooking no less. If I did a Consumption Club
piece I would end up with a sorry piece on TB. Julcia
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2022
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WOW! Talk about creative approaches to contest topics. Bravo! A tightly
developed tale which kept me hollering for my seat at that table. Consumption
Club indeed! With tail to snout cooking no less. If I did a Consumption Club
piece I would end up with a sorry piece on TB. Julcia
Comment Written 18-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2022
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Thank you so much, Julcia :-). It's funny - I did wonder if I could reference in the other meaning of Consumption but it started feeling too complicated. I had a blast writing this devilish little tale!
Mike
Comment from GARY MACLEAN
I liked the "dressed to the nine" I first heard that way back in the 60s from my Air Force brother. Don't hear it much anymore but it reminds me of him and a better time.
Just a couple of suggestions
Para 5, sentence1: PERHAPS an accent mark (') on "veloute" = (veloute')?
Para 11, sentence 2: add comma after "giggling"
Very well written. A step ahead of all the other entries. One of the better written articles I have read on FanStory. Not even considering grammar, spelling, punctuation or any of that. Simply choice of words, phrase and delivery.
What was it that made you gag? What was the food that was so "illicit" that it brought the authorities?
Very interesting read. Sounds like a chapter to a novel. No more sixes, but please consider this a "virtual" six. Good job.
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2022
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I liked the "dressed to the nine" I first heard that way back in the 60s from my Air Force brother. Don't hear it much anymore but it reminds me of him and a better time.
Just a couple of suggestions
Para 5, sentence1: PERHAPS an accent mark (') on "veloute" = (veloute')?
Para 11, sentence 2: add comma after "giggling"
Very well written. A step ahead of all the other entries. One of the better written articles I have read on FanStory. Not even considering grammar, spelling, punctuation or any of that. Simply choice of words, phrase and delivery.
What was it that made you gag? What was the food that was so "illicit" that it brought the authorities?
Very interesting read. Sounds like a chapter to a novel. No more sixes, but please consider this a "virtual" six. Good job.
Comment Written 18-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2022
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Thank you, Gary, for the great review and the spag catch. I tend to avoid accents as it's hit or miss whether FS plays havoc with them! It's good to have someone with an Eagle eye looking over my work :-)
Mike
Comment from Donna G. (aka Sam Duck)
Very well done and totally disgusting. Your work always provokes strong reactions. I feel faintly ill and very icked out. Which means you did an awesome job on your story. Good one!
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2022
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Very well done and totally disgusting. Your work always provokes strong reactions. I feel faintly ill and very icked out. Which means you did an awesome job on your story. Good one!
Comment Written 18-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2022
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Thank you, Sam. I'm happy I made you ill, lol.
Mike
Comment from Bill Schott
This story, The Last Mouthful, turns out to be grisly scene. The clue of "fava beans and Chianti" is where the worm turned for me. Bizarre, as I just finished a couple bratwursts.
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2022
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This story, The Last Mouthful, turns out to be grisly scene. The clue of "fava beans and Chianti" is where the worm turned for me. Bizarre, as I just finished a couple bratwursts.
Comment Written 17-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2022
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Mmm, I love a bratwurst :-). So glad you enjoyed this - it was a blast to write.
Mike
Comment from MissMerri
A most disgusting and amazingly-told story, Mike. LOL I felt as if I were right there, and almost ready to throw-up along with the narrator. Wow! You do know how to tell a gripping story and the ending was so creative and unique. I have no doubt this will do quite well in the contest. The pictures you paint with your words are so clear and movie-like. I'm happy to bestow one of my last six stars and perhaps a vote as well. I've a few more to read. MM
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2022
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A most disgusting and amazingly-told story, Mike. LOL I felt as if I were right there, and almost ready to throw-up along with the narrator. Wow! You do know how to tell a gripping story and the ending was so creative and unique. I have no doubt this will do quite well in the contest. The pictures you paint with your words are so clear and movie-like. I'm happy to bestow one of my last six stars and perhaps a vote as well. I've a few more to read. MM
Comment Written 17-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2022
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Thank you so much :-). I genuinely started out writing somephrases for a straightforward dinner scene, but then the nefarious ideas started popping up! I had great fun writing this one.
Mike
Comment from Debi Pick Marquette
I had a blast reading this story. And as I did, I felt a little nauseated until the end. Then I cracked up laughing, forgetting my queasiness.
Mike you have an imagination along with your creativity, and as always I love your style. Actually what I mean to say is, Simply Fabulous Darling!! hehe!
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2022
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I had a blast reading this story. And as I did, I felt a little nauseated until the end. Then I cracked up laughing, forgetting my queasiness.
Mike you have an imagination along with your creativity, and as always I love your style. Actually what I mean to say is, Simply Fabulous Darling!! hehe!
Comment Written 17-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2022
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Why thank you, kindly, my dear :-). If there's an obvious approach to a writing prompt, I always try to avoid it. This was a good opportunity to have some fun with description. I'm thrilled you enjoyed it!
Mike
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I always love a good rebel!
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One more thing Mike!
After being disqualified a couple times, I understand all too well! Ha!
Comment from Annmuma
This post gets my last 6 for content and for structure!! I was drawn in with paragraph and could not stop reading until Detective sergeant Hanton threw up! Excellent writing and I'm glad I read it. ann
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2022
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This post gets my last 6 for content and for structure!! I was drawn in with paragraph and could not stop reading until Detective sergeant Hanton threw up! Excellent writing and I'm glad I read it. ann
Comment Written 17-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2022
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Thanks so much, Ann :-). I enjoyed taking a (hopefully) unexpected approach to the prompt. I'm thrilled you enjoyed it!
Mike
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Excellent entry for the In Praise of Tapas contest. I'm from Spain and had many tapas, you reminded me of good times with family and friends eating yummy tapas. Now I live close to Los Angeles and we don't have decent authentic tapas (((sadnes))))
Good luck!
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2022
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Excellent entry for the In Praise of Tapas contest. I'm from Spain and had many tapas, you reminded me of good times with family and friends eating yummy tapas. Now I live close to Los Angeles and we don't have decent authentic tapas (((sadnes))))
Good luck!
Comment Written 17-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2022
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Thank you - I'm really glad you liked it :-).
Mike
Comment from Ulla
Hi Mike, I can see you had a lot of fun writing this. Now, I live in Spain and I will let everyone have their fantasy about the cooking here. Fortunately, I know what's what. Good luck in the co NC test. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2022
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Hi Mike, I can see you had a lot of fun writing this. Now, I live in Spain and I will let everyone have their fantasy about the cooking here. Fortunately, I know what's what. Good luck in the co NC test. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 16-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2022
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Thank you, Ulla :-). Indeed, my experience of Tapas is limited to chain restaurants which is going to be a very anglicised version. Still, I enjoy many of the dishes. One day, perhaps I'll get the chance to try the real thing.
Mike
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
The fava beans and chianti was a nice tease for what was to come:-)
Enjoyed this very much. Every now and then I come across something different on FanStory - this was delightful, darling.
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2022
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The fava beans and chianti was a nice tease for what was to come:-)
Enjoyed this very much. Every now and then I come across something different on FanStory - this was delightful, darling.
Comment Written 16-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2022
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lol, thanks so much, Pam :-). I always try to find an unexpected approach to prompts and this turn out to be a lot of fun.
Mike
