Quiet Lawyer
Viewing comments for Chapter 22 "Quiet Lawyer Chapter 12 C"Can a broken heart be mended?
23 total reviews
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
Catching up with your story. I've been burning the back burner at home, so it has kept me from writing as much and reviewing. I will try to read your story in heaps and bounds. I wonder what will happen to Alexandra?
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2022
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Catching up with your story. I've been burning the back burner at home, so it has kept me from writing as much and reviewing. I will try to read your story in heaps and bounds. I wonder what will happen to Alexandra?
Comment Written 22-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2022
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I appreciate you reading. I am just sorry that you had to read when there's no money attached.
Comment from eliz100
This is another excellent installment. You moved the story along nicely, and the romance is blossoming. The pizza picture looks delicious. I do not see any room for improvement.
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2022
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This is another excellent installment. You moved the story along nicely, and the romance is blossoming. The pizza picture looks delicious. I do not see any room for improvement.
Comment Written 08-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2022
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Whitewave
Barbara,
Although I didn't see the first part of the story, this chapter has me intrigued and wondering where it will lead. I don't think I will ever look at pizza the same way again.
"Which is the real Ali?" I think that question could be asked of us all because it seems to be an innate human tendency to hide behind a facade, as a form of self protection.
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2022
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Barbara,
Although I didn't see the first part of the story, this chapter has me intrigued and wondering where it will lead. I don't think I will ever look at pizza the same way again.
"Which is the real Ali?" I think that question could be asked of us all because it seems to be an innate human tendency to hide behind a facade, as a form of self protection.
Comment Written 07-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2022
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Thank you for the kind review. I hope you drop by again.
Comment from Ric Myworld
Some good pizza is possible to ramp up any budding relationship. LOL. Well, it might not really help the relationship, but it might ease the nerves a little. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2022
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Some good pizza is possible to ramp up any budding relationship. LOL. Well, it might not really help the relationship, but it might ease the nerves a little. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 06-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2022
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Doesn't a good pizza solve all problems? LOL Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from GARY MACLEAN
Ahhh, A budding true love.
A couple of observations.
Para 5, 3rd sentence: I THINK remove comma between "you" and "if"
Para 11, last sentence: remove extra space between "with" and "you"
Para 33,1st sentence: "handtossed" should be "hand tossed"
Para 34, 3rd sentence: "handtossed" should be "hand tossed"
This makes me hungry for a meat lovers right now.
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2022
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Ahhh, A budding true love.
A couple of observations.
Para 5, 3rd sentence: I THINK remove comma between "you" and "if"
Para 11, last sentence: remove extra space between "with" and "you"
Para 33,1st sentence: "handtossed" should be "hand tossed"
Para 34, 3rd sentence: "handtossed" should be "hand tossed"
This makes me hungry for a meat lovers right now.
Comment Written 06-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2022
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I just changed handtossed to one word because a reviewer told me to. I will change it back. I thought I was right. Thank you for the help.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
That's a great way to use a pizza, to see what a person might want and act like. Now they have to sort the other side of their lives out. Will Ali move from New York City? I think she probably will, especially if this case she's about to take on for those women brings her more work in this small town. I think she's much better being a girl-next-door women. Well done, my friend, excellent chapter. :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2022
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That's a great way to use a pizza, to see what a person might want and act like. Now they have to sort the other side of their lives out. Will Ali move from New York City? I think she probably will, especially if this case she's about to take on for those women brings her more work in this small town. I think she's much better being a girl-next-door women. Well done, my friend, excellent chapter. :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 06-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2022
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Fleedleflump
This was a lovely scene, full of natural interaction and believable dialogue. I enjoyed the detail around the pizza choices and how they reflect reach's understanding of the other.
Great chapter :-)
Mike
Spag notes:
'Aren't there two Cord's?"' - unnecessary apostrophe on Cords
'Inside a tall heavyset man walked' - for a moment, I thought they'd gone inside a heavyset man! Not really, of course - just couldn;t resist the joke :-). I'd suggest a comma after 'Inside'
'Her cheeks color traveled the spectrum from pink to deep red.' - I'd say either 'cheek color' or 'the color of her cheeks'
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2022
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This was a lovely scene, full of natural interaction and believable dialogue. I enjoyed the detail around the pizza choices and how they reflect reach's understanding of the other.
Great chapter :-)
Mike
Spag notes:
'Aren't there two Cord's?"' - unnecessary apostrophe on Cords
'Inside a tall heavyset man walked' - for a moment, I thought they'd gone inside a heavyset man! Not really, of course - just couldn;t resist the joke :-). I'd suggest a comma after 'Inside'
'Her cheeks color traveled the spectrum from pink to deep red.' - I'd say either 'cheek color' or 'the color of her cheeks'
Comment Written 06-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2022
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I played with the cheek color one for a very long time. I appreciate the help. Sometimes my brain just forgets to work. LOL
Comment from Sanku
The pizza ordering was a smart touch .This kind of adjustments will go a long way in their life. Somehow they have to reconcile the distance issue and cleverly manage an long distance relationship...
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2022
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The pizza ordering was a smart touch .This kind of adjustments will go a long way in their life. Somehow they have to reconcile the distance issue and cleverly manage an long distance relationship...
Comment Written 06-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2022
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from lancellot
Well, I guess I will ask it, since well... Are you sure Cord and Alexandra have a relationship? They've gone riding, mildly flirted, and now gone on a real date. It's been three weeks, and they've barely, if only, touched lips. Most high school freshmen have done and been through more.
Also, you may, I know you won't, but you may want to consider making Cord more dimensional of a man. I mean, you are clearly trying to write a romance story aimed at women. You may want to create a man, they can relate too in real life.
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2022
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Well, I guess I will ask it, since well... Are you sure Cord and Alexandra have a relationship? They've gone riding, mildly flirted, and now gone on a real date. It's been three weeks, and they've barely, if only, touched lips. Most high school freshmen have done and been through more.
Also, you may, I know you won't, but you may want to consider making Cord more dimensional of a man. I mean, you are clearly trying to write a romance story aimed at women. You may want to create a man, they can relate too in real life.
Comment Written 05-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2022
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Cord has his faults, just like all men, as does Ali. Ali has kissed Cord on the cheek a couple of times. That first real kiss will come. They are both afraid to get into a relationship because they fear it won't work. Most of my reviewers comment and understand talking time to develop a close relationship. They know that's what it takes for a relationship to last. Thank you for the kind review.
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I get that, but most of your reviewers are seniors, who are your friends. They knew what it was like 50 years ago. Your characters are set in today. Your characters are mid - thirties, Americans.
Barbara, I'm not telling you it can't happen. I'm saying, if this is how it is going to be, you have to give reasons why they are so different in comparison to real modern people.
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Ali made a purity pack with her father. Cord is willing to go along with her because his mom and her mom are best friends. Information about the purity pack will be coming soon.
Comment from royowen
Strong people need to work out what their priorities lie, loving someone and joining your lives in mutual agreement is super important, without it their will always be a restless, unsettled spirit. A good relationship by far outweighs any other ambitions, although they can be relevant, and still fulfilled, as long as the relationship is relevant, love is always sacrificial. Beautifully written Barbara, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2022
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Strong people need to work out what their priorities lie, loving someone and joining your lives in mutual agreement is super important, without it their will always be a restless, unsettled spirit. A good relationship by far outweighs any other ambitions, although they can be relevant, and still fulfilled, as long as the relationship is relevant, love is always sacrificial. Beautifully written Barbara, blessings Roy
Comment Written 05-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2022
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Thank you for the kind review.
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Most welcome Bar ata
