Quiet Lawyer
Viewing comments for Chapter 21 "Quiet Lawyer Chapter 12 B"Can a broken heart be mended?
23 total reviews
Comment from Annette R.
First this is a very important subject and I'm happy you are writing about it. I learned things about sexual coercion that I didn't know. I like the large font and paragraph spacing. I didn't see any typos nor punctuation issues. I wonder if the laws on sexual coercion are the same in all states. If so, I need to first check my state then share with the local Domestic violence and sexual assault program I volunteer with.
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2022
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First this is a very important subject and I'm happy you are writing about it. I learned things about sexual coercion that I didn't know. I like the large font and paragraph spacing. I didn't see any typos nor punctuation issues. I wonder if the laws on sexual coercion are the same in all states. If so, I need to first check my state then share with the local Domestic violence and sexual assault program I volunteer with.
Comment Written 03-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2022
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They should already be aware of it. I don't think many people understand that sex should be truly voluntary.
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
Women are not the only victims of rape; men, women, and children can be victims of rape and can be similarly entitled to claim compensation. So, what should I do if I want to claim compensation for rape? This story is giving women the answer.
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2022
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Women are not the only victims of rape; men, women, and children can be victims of rape and can be similarly entitled to claim compensation. So, what should I do if I want to claim compensation for rape? This story is giving women the answer.
Comment Written 03-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2022
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Thank you for the kind review. Yes, anyone can be a victim of rape.
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello Barbara
I wish I had a six rating
You did well when you were filling in what what taken place when the young ladies were were assaulted. Now it looks like I will wait and see what develops.
Gert
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2022
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Hello Barbara
I wish I had a six rating
You did well when you were filling in what what taken place when the young ladies were were assaulted. Now it looks like I will wait and see what develops.
Gert
Comment Written 02-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2022
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Thank you for the kind review. Yes, and we will have to wait a while.
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You are most welcome Barbra
Gert
Comment from Fleedleflump
Hi Barbara. I really enjoyed reading this chapter. You've done a great job of integrating important facts and advice into the narrative without it feeling like information dumping. The dialogue all flowed naturally and conveyed something of characters.
I hope you don't mind the below notes. Great writing :-)
Mike
Spag notes:
'Smiling Alexandra said, "I agree.' - needs a comma after 'Smiling'
'After the introductions, Alexandra began, "You'll' - either needs a full stop after 'began' or a lower case 'y' on 'You'll'
'"Ms. Alexandra, please call me, Cari, most people do."' - don't need the comma before 'Cari'
'Glancing at Cordero, Alexandra's blushed at his grin' - I'm guess you've edited this sentence and missed the 's at the end of Alexandra
'From what I understand you couldn't get approved' - might need a comma after 'understand'
'Nodding, Alexandra continued, "Sexual coercion' - needs a full stop after 'continued' or a lower case 's' on 'Sexual'
I see a couple more commas leading from speech tag into dialogue, which I believe should be stops (or the dialogue should start lower case):
'Nancy asked, "Will this go'
'Carol said, "Since her grandma died'
I hope that helps.
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2022
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Hi Barbara. I really enjoyed reading this chapter. You've done a great job of integrating important facts and advice into the narrative without it feeling like information dumping. The dialogue all flowed naturally and conveyed something of characters.
I hope you don't mind the below notes. Great writing :-)
Mike
Spag notes:
'Smiling Alexandra said, "I agree.' - needs a comma after 'Smiling'
'After the introductions, Alexandra began, "You'll' - either needs a full stop after 'began' or a lower case 'y' on 'You'll'
'"Ms. Alexandra, please call me, Cari, most people do."' - don't need the comma before 'Cari'
'Glancing at Cordero, Alexandra's blushed at his grin' - I'm guess you've edited this sentence and missed the 's at the end of Alexandra
'From what I understand you couldn't get approved' - might need a comma after 'understand'
'Nodding, Alexandra continued, "Sexual coercion' - needs a full stop after 'continued' or a lower case 's' on 'Sexual'
I see a couple more commas leading from speech tag into dialogue, which I believe should be stops (or the dialogue should start lower case):
'Nancy asked, "Will this go'
'Carol said, "Since her grandma died'
I hope that helps.
Comment Written 02-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2022
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In American English we start dialogue with a capital letter and a comma after the speech tag. I'm guessing it's different with UK English. Thank you for the kind review. I appreciate the help. It's the reason I post.
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I was starting to think that might be the case, since there was no way you'd make the same mistake so many times! I'll try to remember that :-)
Mike
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No problem.
Comment from ShirleyT1
I really like your storyline. Your characters are solid and the exchanged dialogue flows smoothly and effortlessly throughout this chapter. Great job!
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2022
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I really like your storyline. Your characters are solid and the exchanged dialogue flows smoothly and effortlessly throughout this chapter. Great job!
Comment Written 01-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2022
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Ric Myworld
I always like it when the bad guy gets what's coming to him, and then some. So, I've got my popcorn buttered and I'm waiting for the action to begin. LOL. Thanks for sharing.
"Hello. I'm glad (to) see you again."
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2022
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I always like it when the bad guy gets what's coming to him, and then some. So, I've got my popcorn buttered and I'm waiting for the action to begin. LOL. Thanks for sharing.
"Hello. I'm glad (to) see you again."
Comment Written 01-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2022
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Thank you for the kind review and the catch. I have an issue with leaving out those little words.
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Well written. Good work.
Good movement on the plot.
Since there was so much detail, I think Ali would have also detailed the payment schedule for a reduced claim - still $1000/month until paid?
Best wishes.
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2022
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Well written. Good work.
Good movement on the plot.
Since there was so much detail, I think Ali would have also detailed the payment schedule for a reduced claim - still $1000/month until paid?
Best wishes.
Comment Written 01-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2022
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
This is very good. Alex is not only helping these women, she is likely helping to be sure this doesn't happen again to anyone as Pat's lawyers and bank board are going to take a very dim view of his business methods. She is a guardian angel for the women of the area, if she stays.
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2022
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This is very good. Alex is not only helping these women, she is likely helping to be sure this doesn't happen again to anyone as Pat's lawyers and bank board are going to take a very dim view of his business methods. She is a guardian angel for the women of the area, if she stays.
Comment Written 31-May-2022
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2022
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Ulla
Hi Barbara, this is another wonderful chapter and it covers a very important issue. I really liked it. I only found one thing: Rebecca was the next (to) speak. I'm so looking forward to reading on. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 31-May-2022
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Hi Barbara, this is another wonderful chapter and it covers a very important issue. I really liked it. I only found one thing: Rebecca was the next (to) speak. I'm so looking forward to reading on. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 31-May-2022
reply by the author on 31-May-2022
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Thank you for the kind review and the catch. I made the correction.
Comment from Sanku
The lawyer in Alexandra was sleeping all these time .Now she has woken up with mighty rage and is in good form. I am eager to read how the slimeball reacts!
reply by the author on 31-May-2022
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The lawyer in Alexandra was sleeping all these time .Now she has woken up with mighty rage and is in good form. I am eager to read how the slimeball reacts!
Comment Written 31-May-2022
reply by the author on 31-May-2022
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Thank you for the kind review.
