Tucker at the Trocadero (Part-2)
A cantankerous Tucker verses an evil Farnsworth.32 total reviews
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
More more more I want more. Why didn't you get James Patterson's publisher , get a contract, and make obscene amounts of money? Seriously you have the chops. But, how in the world did you just write#1 and then stop for a while?My head wants to explode at the thought! On to the next one.
Karen
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2023
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More more more I want more. Why didn't you get James Patterson's publisher , get a contract, and make obscene amounts of money? Seriously you have the chops. But, how in the world did you just write#1 and then stop for a while?My head wants to explode at the thought! On to the next one.
Karen
Comment Written 16-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2023
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Thank you so much, Karen, for going back and picking up on the early chapters of Tucker's antics. I can't thank you enough for your generous review and kind words. I hope you continue to like where the story goes. Much appreciated!
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You write just the way I like. I did wonder how Tucker went so deep into Daniel's business so soon. Daniel doesn't seem the trusting kind, unless he thinks he has
information that gives him good leverage to force him to his will. OOOOH, are we going to delve into Tucker's murky
past? Peel back a layer of the onion? Get the skinny? I am all tingly. What deep corner of his life is yet to be revealed? Can't wait. You write so well. I am becoming addicted to the story. Not becoming, I am. Karen
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I had planned to leave them dead in part seven. But so many people kept asking me to bring Tucker back. So, I did. But there doesn't seem to be as much interest as before, maybe because I waited too long for chapter 8. LOL. Oh, well, I'll just have to make the next chapter better. :-)
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I am with them mister! I am like "Oliver" may i have some more please? Karen
Comment from dmt1967
This is a very good story line and would make a great book. I liked the way you used the metaphors as well. This piece was very well written. Thank you for sharing and take care.
reply by the author on 12-May-2022
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This is a very good story line and would make a great book. I liked the way you used the metaphors as well. This piece was very well written. Thank you for sharing and take care.
Comment Written 12-May-2022
reply by the author on 12-May-2022
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Thank you very much, dmt1967, for your kind words and generous review. There is nothing more encouraging than when a talented writer takes time to read and find a story entertaining and/or well written. Much appreciated!
Comment from Olivanne Marsh
Hi Ric,
I am new here, so I haven't read the other parts of this story, but I liked this part. As a writer, you do well with dialogue and just the right amount of detail. I do, however, have a couple of suggestions for small changes, which are mentioned below. I also have one observation, you can take it for what it's worth. I noted that you use a lot of clichés in this writing. You are clever to keep them in either dialogue or observations by characters which makes them useful in keeping the characters and their conversation real...but, some readers may be put off, and I suggest you pare them down and don't use them as often.
Also:
"Totally innocent of the seemingly obvious," I didn't really understand what you were trying to say here. I think you should rewrite this for clarity.
"And the instant their eyes met, her icy heart melted, along with all hostilities." You begin a lot of sentences with and, sometimes it works.
"And besides," sometimes it doesn't. I suggest you test it by reading the sentence without the "And" to see if you can eliminate the ones that add nothing to the sentence.
"The tangled web we weave," an unforgettable line from a television soap opera describes most of our lives. Cliche...not just a line from a soap, it's something my Mom used to say all the time: "Oh, what a tangled web we weave, when first we endeavor to deceive."
Otherwise, this is well-written, love the characters and the plot is intriguing.
reply by the author on 11-May-2022
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Hi Ric,
I am new here, so I haven't read the other parts of this story, but I liked this part. As a writer, you do well with dialogue and just the right amount of detail. I do, however, have a couple of suggestions for small changes, which are mentioned below. I also have one observation, you can take it for what it's worth. I noted that you use a lot of clichés in this writing. You are clever to keep them in either dialogue or observations by characters which makes them useful in keeping the characters and their conversation real...but, some readers may be put off, and I suggest you pare them down and don't use them as often.
Also:
"Totally innocent of the seemingly obvious," I didn't really understand what you were trying to say here. I think you should rewrite this for clarity.
"And the instant their eyes met, her icy heart melted, along with all hostilities." You begin a lot of sentences with and, sometimes it works.
"And besides," sometimes it doesn't. I suggest you test it by reading the sentence without the "And" to see if you can eliminate the ones that add nothing to the sentence.
"The tangled web we weave," an unforgettable line from a television soap opera describes most of our lives. Cliche...not just a line from a soap, it's something my Mom used to say all the time: "Oh, what a tangled web we weave, when first we endeavor to deceive."
Otherwise, this is well-written, love the characters and the plot is intriguing.
Comment Written 11-May-2022
reply by the author on 11-May-2022
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Thank you so much, Olivanne, for your kind words, generous review, and greatly appreciated suggestions. I do use too many "ands" to start sentences regular writing, and thanks for pointing it out. I'm perfectly aware that it's truly never supposed to be done at all, but my intentions are to have the sentences read as the particular narrator might say them, but I will pay more attention. As for "Totally innocent of the seemingly obvious," I think it's easy for anyone to understand. Innocent of what seems obvious. As for "The tangled web we weave," Sir Walter Scott first used it back in 1808, but I don't think any of us can remember it from then. It was used as an opening for a soap opera many years ago, where I heard it. It is intentionally cliché and the reason I cited or referenced it. I'm just trying to clarify my thoughts, right or wrong. So, please, don't think for a minute that I don't appreciate your time, suggestions, and intentions! You are greatly appreciated! This is intended to be more of a farce or spoof of over-exaggerated, simile-laden foolishness, like most everything I write. :-)
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Thank you for the clarifications Ric. I did not get that you were doing a spoof... (the tangled web should have been a clue)...that changes a lot of things. Don't get me wrong, you are a good writer and I enjoyed reading this...I don't even attempt to do a review of things I don't like.
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Oh, please, don't apologize, I appreciate your review, and especially the suggestions and time you spent to offer them. We all have our own perspectives and intentions, and it can only help make us better writers when readers stick their necks out in trying to be helpful. I appreciate YOU! And I love your name. That "and" was put there just for you. LOL.
Comment from amahra
I don't remember reading part 1 but this was an exciting chapter, Ric. However, I was going, Ugh! when the woman Tucker had tried so hard to adopt wanted a romantic relationship. lol And I loved the analysis of the real intent of the robbers.
reply by the author on 11-May-2022
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I don't remember reading part 1 but this was an exciting chapter, Ric. However, I was going, Ugh! when the woman Tucker had tried so hard to adopt wanted a romantic relationship. lol And I loved the analysis of the real intent of the robbers.
Comment Written 11-May-2022
reply by the author on 11-May-2022
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Thank you so much, Amahra, for your extra-special six-star review and kind words. I really should have posted this part closer to part-1, which would have made it much easier for readers to understand and able to get a line on the quirky characters. Your kindness and encouragement is always appreciated!
Comment from humpwhistle
A rousing chapter, indeed. I wonder though, about your choice to condense this complex story into something shorter. The opening of this chapter is a formidable 'info-dump' that, to me, might be better revealed in dribs and drabs. The characters do little of the heavy lifting here. Most of it is done by the author. It comes down to the old show, not tell bugaboo.
Clearly, I'm an outlier, based on your reviewers. So, please take my comments with a healthy dose of salt.
I made a few other observations while I read.
Peace, Lee
in six-foot gap intervals--gap and interval seems a bit redundant.
Tammy dropped whatever she had in her hands --'whatever she had in her hands' strikes me as unnecessarily vague. Maybe skip the 'hands' part all together?
She resembled an Alice Copper or Marilyn Manson lookalike. --again, resembled and lookalike say much the say thing. Maybe a comma after wax, then 'an Alice Cooper or Marilyn Manson lookalike.' ?
An indicative clue that robbing the bar was secondary. --This had already occurred to me. Clearly the 'game' was the primary target, so why risk alerting the players by noisily robbing the bar in the first place?
reply by the author on 11-May-2022
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A rousing chapter, indeed. I wonder though, about your choice to condense this complex story into something shorter. The opening of this chapter is a formidable 'info-dump' that, to me, might be better revealed in dribs and drabs. The characters do little of the heavy lifting here. Most of it is done by the author. It comes down to the old show, not tell bugaboo.
Clearly, I'm an outlier, based on your reviewers. So, please take my comments with a healthy dose of salt.
I made a few other observations while I read.
Peace, Lee
in six-foot gap intervals--gap and interval seems a bit redundant.
Tammy dropped whatever she had in her hands --'whatever she had in her hands' strikes me as unnecessarily vague. Maybe skip the 'hands' part all together?
She resembled an Alice Copper or Marilyn Manson lookalike. --again, resembled and lookalike say much the say thing. Maybe a comma after wax, then 'an Alice Cooper or Marilyn Manson lookalike.' ?
An indicative clue that robbing the bar was secondary. --This had already occurred to me. Clearly the 'game' was the primary target, so why risk alerting the players by noisily robbing the bar in the first place?
Comment Written 11-May-2022
reply by the author on 11-May-2022
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Thanks, Lee, for taking time to read another of my off the wall ensembles of quirky characters. Yes, there is a little more telling in this one than I'd like, just trying to get a lot said in a short time and space, so that I can get to the meat and potatoes in the next chapters. I appreciate your generous review and suggestions! Ric
Comment from Shirley McLain
You certainly ended this on a hook, and I swallowed it whole. You did a great job and held my interest all the way through. I look forward to reading more. Have a great evening. Shirley
reply by the author on 10-May-2022
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You certainly ended this on a hook, and I swallowed it whole. You did a great job and held my interest all the way through. I look forward to reading more. Have a great evening. Shirley
Comment Written 10-May-2022
reply by the author on 10-May-2022
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Thank you so much, Shirley, for your kind words and generous review. I tried desperately to cram a whole of information into this chapter rather than spread it out over 10-parts. The next part is going to be about half as long with a more vivid picture of what's going on. I hope you'll join in the fun. Thanks for your encouragement. Much appreciated!
Comment from L. Kalere
Hi Ric
Glad to see you're back writing. This was a great follow-up to Part 1. As usual you packed it full of witty and outrageous banter but with a far more sinister feel this time...instead of threats, more dastardly deeds.
I especially loved the Jimmy Choo combat boots...they are indeed good looking, and a bargain at $1200...those are very classy goons. And, you chose a fantastic backdrop with the Art Deco Trocodero. It must have been fabulous in its day (Duke Ellington and Cab Calloway, wow).
I was taken aback by the hangings though...my next story coming out soon, involves a swaying noose, albeit with no bodies attached, yet. AND another story in the works involves a witness who's been knocked to the ground and IDs the assailant by his ridiculous socks (nothing so fancy as Choos). Here we go crossing over again, and yet you always beat me to the punch. But as you know, I could never match your splashy flair.
Few authors have the gift of such a wild imagination. Just keep it coming...
Linda
reply by the author on 10-May-2022
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Hi Ric
Glad to see you're back writing. This was a great follow-up to Part 1. As usual you packed it full of witty and outrageous banter but with a far more sinister feel this time...instead of threats, more dastardly deeds.
I especially loved the Jimmy Choo combat boots...they are indeed good looking, and a bargain at $1200...those are very classy goons. And, you chose a fantastic backdrop with the Art Deco Trocodero. It must have been fabulous in its day (Duke Ellington and Cab Calloway, wow).
I was taken aback by the hangings though...my next story coming out soon, involves a swaying noose, albeit with no bodies attached, yet. AND another story in the works involves a witness who's been knocked to the ground and IDs the assailant by his ridiculous socks (nothing so fancy as Choos). Here we go crossing over again, and yet you always beat me to the punch. But as you know, I could never match your splashy flair.
Few authors have the gift of such a wild imagination. Just keep it coming...
Linda
Comment Written 10-May-2022
reply by the author on 10-May-2022
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Thank you so much, Linda, for your extra-special six-star review and kind words. Someday, I'm going to try to write something serious, but I guess, I'll have to wait until I grow up. The sucker I am, I bought a pair of the Choo combats and some $1,700 Zelli alligator loafers the same day. And wouldn't you know it, I haven't worn either pair. LOL. I'll be looking forward to your next posts. Your encouragement is a real motivator. But most of all, I appreciate YOU!
Comment from irishauthorme
Good, fast-moving story. True facts on the old Trocadero in Henderson, KY, aka "Little Chicago. I will go back and read the first chapter. I didn't see if the perps got into the safe or took it or just made sure where it was.
The decoy bodies showed just how vicious this Farnsworth was.
Was the love-tap on Tucker a warning that Farnsworth knows what Tucker has been doing, compiling evidence against him? seems like a broadly based crime tzar like Farnsworth would sooner or later get word that someone was spying on him.
Look forward to the next chapters!
reply by the author on 09-May-2022
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Good, fast-moving story. True facts on the old Trocadero in Henderson, KY, aka "Little Chicago. I will go back and read the first chapter. I didn't see if the perps got into the safe or took it or just made sure where it was.
The decoy bodies showed just how vicious this Farnsworth was.
Was the love-tap on Tucker a warning that Farnsworth knows what Tucker has been doing, compiling evidence against him? seems like a broadly based crime tzar like Farnsworth would sooner or later get word that someone was spying on him.
Look forward to the next chapters!
Comment Written 09-May-2022
reply by the author on 09-May-2022
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Thanks again, Irish, for reading chapter two. The answer to your question is yes, it was sort of a message. Tucker will soon find out that Farnsworth knows he has been checking him out. I appreciate your kind words, generous review, and encouragement. Yes, Little Chicago was a big deal back in those days, and the building is still standing, barely. LOL. I appreciate your fine review!
Comment from Wayne Fowler
It reads a little much like it's being 'told' instead of shown, like an elaborate set-up scene.
The tangled web we weave - is from a Sir Walter Scott 1808 poem: Oh what a tangled web we weave/When first we practice to deceive
Nice story line. Good work and best wishes.
reply by the author on 09-May-2022
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It reads a little much like it's being 'told' instead of shown, like an elaborate set-up scene.
The tangled web we weave - is from a Sir Walter Scott 1808 poem: Oh what a tangled web we weave/When first we practice to deceive
Nice story line. Good work and best wishes.
Comment Written 09-May-2022
reply by the author on 09-May-2022
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Thanks, Wayne, for taking time to read my story. Yes, it might seem like there is a little telling, but mostly because I needed to cover so much ground without stretching it out to twenty chapters. But I hope that even the telling kept moving the story forward. LOL. I wasn't aware of Sir Walter Scott's 1808 poem, since I don't read poetry. But it would make me sound a lot smarter than admitting I picked it up from a soap opera when I was a kid. I appreciate your kind words, generous review, comments, and best wishes. Much appreciated!
Comment from juliaSjames
Hey Ric
Your gritty detective story is superbly written. The pace is handled brilliantly. I literally jumped when the robbers burst in to the bar. And I turned my face away from the image of bodies tossed about in the wind.
I already have a concept of Tucker; tough, bighearted, smart and battered by life. Reminds me a bit of that Simon and Garfunkel song, The Boxer.
Looking forward to more.
Stay safe and blessed
Julia
reply by the author on 09-May-2022
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Hey Ric
Your gritty detective story is superbly written. The pace is handled brilliantly. I literally jumped when the robbers burst in to the bar. And I turned my face away from the image of bodies tossed about in the wind.
I already have a concept of Tucker; tough, bighearted, smart and battered by life. Reminds me a bit of that Simon and Garfunkel song, The Boxer.
Looking forward to more.
Stay safe and blessed
Julia
Comment Written 09-May-2022
reply by the author on 09-May-2022
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Thank you so much, Julia, for your extra-special six-star review and kind words. You kind of have Tucker figured out. Part-1 gives a better look into his personality, but as usual, I waited too long between part-1 and part-2. I had intended to write it as a book, but I don't have the patience to stay committed that long. LOL. Thank you for the encouragement. I appreciate YOU!
