Wrung Red
Double edge30 total reviews
Comment from Regina Elliott
Hello John, this is such a sad
write so very skillfully
penned. I felt the bleakness
and sorrow of this tragic war,
as all wars are tragic, no side
ever wins, only Death does.
This is a 6 star short literary
master work. Blessings to
you & your family. ~
reply by the author on 28-May-2023
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Hello John, this is such a sad
write so very skillfully
penned. I felt the bleakness
and sorrow of this tragic war,
as all wars are tragic, no side
ever wins, only Death does.
This is a 6 star short literary
master work. Blessings to
you & your family. ~
Comment Written 28-May-2023
reply by the author on 28-May-2023
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Thank you, Regina for going back to read. I wrote this one when the war first broke out in Ukraine. You and the six stars are much appreciated!
Comment from lyenochka
That kind of personal interaction is what's needed during any war - understanding the humanity between enemies. Nineteen seems too young to have so many kids already. But the Russian soldiers were that young. It's rumored the MREs that they were given to eat were even older.
You did a great job with this contest prompt! Congratulations on the win!
Suggestions:
twins at home." His voice monotoned.
(twins at home," his voice monotoned.
Then, the man's battered torso (no comma)
reply by the author on 12-May-2022
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That kind of personal interaction is what's needed during any war - understanding the humanity between enemies. Nineteen seems too young to have so many kids already. But the Russian soldiers were that young. It's rumored the MREs that they were given to eat were even older.
You did a great job with this contest prompt! Congratulations on the win!
Suggestions:
twins at home." His voice monotoned.
(twins at home," his voice monotoned.
Then, the man's battered torso (no comma)
Comment Written 12-May-2022
reply by the author on 12-May-2022
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Helen, thank you so much for going back to read my older post, it means a lot to me that you've taken the time. Thank you for the congrats as well. Yes, I will make those changes.
Comment from Sally Law
Virtual six for you, John. This was such a moving piece. I saw it on the leader board this morning and had to read. So tender and applicable of the current state of war. Congratulations on your ribbon and fine accomplishment. Sending you my best today as always,
Sally :))
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2022
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Virtual six for you, John. This was such a moving piece. I saw it on the leader board this morning and had to read. So tender and applicable of the current state of war. Congratulations on your ribbon and fine accomplishment. Sending you my best today as always,
Sally :))
Comment Written 25-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2022
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Thank you so much, Sally, for the review, and the virtual SIX. It was heart wrenching to write, as it is too close to the truth. Thanks again.
Comment from Marienkiefer
Hello,
There is something very poignant about this piece.
This piece reveals the ambiguities of war and the unclear dividing lines.
I see in your story themes of:
-Struggle between duty to country and service to mankind.
-Futility of war and personal loss.
-Desolation and devastation.
You cover diverse subjects in an organized frame, with clarity and very concise. Just enough to tell the story.
I loved this piece. Equitable, showing more than one side
Good luck on your entry.
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2022
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Hello,
There is something very poignant about this piece.
This piece reveals the ambiguities of war and the unclear dividing lines.
I see in your story themes of:
-Struggle between duty to country and service to mankind.
-Futility of war and personal loss.
-Desolation and devastation.
You cover diverse subjects in an organized frame, with clarity and very concise. Just enough to tell the story.
I loved this piece. Equitable, showing more than one side
Good luck on your entry.
Comment Written 20-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2022
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Thank you for your kind, detailed review and the generous stars. I appreciate the time you took.
Comment from Susan Newell
This is a well-written and compelling story. The reveal that the man the Ukrainian nurse was tending was an invader was done at just the right time. You built the suspense well. The only thing I question is whether or not an eighteen-year old would have a wife and fifteen-month-old twins. They would have been conceived when he was sixteen, and that seems pretty young. One question on the writing follows:
The continual bombardments that encircling this mad man's alleged operations; -- I don't understand this sentence structure. Something missing?
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2022
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This is a well-written and compelling story. The reveal that the man the Ukrainian nurse was tending was an invader was done at just the right time. You built the suspense well. The only thing I question is whether or not an eighteen-year old would have a wife and fifteen-month-old twins. They would have been conceived when he was sixteen, and that seems pretty young. One question on the writing follows:
The continual bombardments that encircling this mad man's alleged operations; -- I don't understand this sentence structure. Something missing?
Comment Written 18-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2022
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Thank you for the fresh eyes, Susan. Yes, I agree now that I look at this sentence. (For the fiftieth time). It needs some restructuring. I'm going to make him nineteen. Helpful feedback. Thank you!
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You are very welcome.
Comment from Thatguypk
This is a story that truly pulls on the heart-strings, emphasizing as it does, that there are innocent victims on all sides during a war. So much tragedy, and so much pain.
PK
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2022
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This is a story that truly pulls on the heart-strings, emphasizing as it does, that there are innocent victims on all sides during a war. So much tragedy, and so much pain.
PK
Comment Written 18-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2022
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Thank you so much foe a great review.
Comment from l.raven
your story broke my heart...I have watched as
innocent people have been being bombed...killed
for no reason...by a mad man...putin...
I hate war...and can't believe I would ever live
to see this happen...I believe God is fighting for us...
I just wish it would end...and your picture speaks for itself...love Linda xxoo
your story in very well written...
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2022
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your story broke my heart...I have watched as
innocent people have been being bombed...killed
for no reason...by a mad man...putin...
I hate war...and can't believe I would ever live
to see this happen...I believe God is fighting for us...
I just wish it would end...and your picture speaks for itself...love Linda xxoo
your story in very well written...
Comment Written 17-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2022
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Thank you, Linda, for a wonderful review.
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your so very welcome...love xxoo
Comment from T B Botts
Well done on this moving story. It brings to mind the story of the good Samaritan. It would take an incredible strength from on high to be willing to tend to the wounds of someone who might in part be responsible for your loss. I found your story very moving. Good luck in the contest. This may be a winner.
Have a blessed evening.
Tom
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2022
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Well done on this moving story. It brings to mind the story of the good Samaritan. It would take an incredible strength from on high to be willing to tend to the wounds of someone who might in part be responsible for your loss. I found your story very moving. Good luck in the contest. This may be a winner.
Have a blessed evening.
Tom
Comment Written 17-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2022
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Thank you so much, Tom, for your kind words and six stars.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
This is a heart rendering situation that you have written about here and those poor people in Ukraine are suffering terribly just now, it breaks my heart to think of the destruction taking place. Love Dolly x
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2022
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This is a heart rendering situation that you have written about here and those poor people in Ukraine are suffering terribly just now, it breaks my heart to think of the destruction taking place. Love Dolly x
Comment Written 17-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2022
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Thank you for your review, Dolly.
Comment from Annette R.
I like the space between paragraphs. Enlarging the font would also make it easier to read. The picture fits the story. Fiction today, non-fiction tomorrow as unnecessary war rages. The story has a good pace and smacks of truth.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2022
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I like the space between paragraphs. Enlarging the font would also make it easier to read. The picture fits the story. Fiction today, non-fiction tomorrow as unnecessary war rages. The story has a good pace and smacks of truth.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2022
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Thank you for your review, Annette.
