old mariner
ekphrastic-like 5-7-5 (the weathered face tells)13 total reviews
Comment from Joanne Gill-Maddick
This is a nicely written 5-7-5 poem. Great overall presentation and background and font. Awesome photo to compliment your words. Very well done. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2022
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This is a nicely written 5-7-5 poem. Great overall presentation and background and font. Awesome photo to compliment your words. Very well done. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 20-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2022
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Thanks for your kind words for this contest entry. If I could award stars for the image I chose, it would get a six stars rating!
Comment from James Ott
Nicely done. It conveys a strong feeling for the men (and women) who are seafarers, ancient mariners. The photo goes well with the 5-7-5 project. The poem could be an accurate caption for the photograph. Could it be better if the first line ended with tells "a" and using "tale" to start the second line? If the suggestion is followed, the first line would then meet the instruction for five syllables, if I am listening correctly.
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2022
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Nicely done. It conveys a strong feeling for the men (and women) who are seafarers, ancient mariners. The photo goes well with the 5-7-5 project. The poem could be an accurate caption for the photograph. Could it be better if the first line ended with tells "a" and using "tale" to start the second line? If the suggestion is followed, the first line would then meet the instruction for five syllables, if I am listening correctly.
Comment Written 20-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2022
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James,
It is a good suggestion. However since the voting has already started I am unwilling to edit the same. Had it not been a contest entry, I would have changed it !Thanks for your review.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Excellent entry for the 5-7-5 writing prompt contest. Good syllables count and connection between lines. Beautiful presentation and imagery.
I like the picture of the old fisherman very much.. Well done.
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2022
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Excellent entry for the 5-7-5 writing prompt contest. Good syllables count and connection between lines. Beautiful presentation and imagery.
I like the picture of the old fisherman very much.. Well done.
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 20-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2022
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Thanks Gypsy,
I agree that the picture is outstanding! Thanks for your review and support fr my 5-7-5s.
Comment from Tom Horonzy
What can a man say
in somewhat reasonable way
about 5-7-5's ? ....................................
give a rating based on enjoyability, maybe.
Picture and poem
together effective.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2022
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What can a man say
in somewhat reasonable way
about 5-7-5's ? ....................................
give a rating based on enjoyability, maybe.
Picture and poem
together effective.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 20-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2022
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Tom,
My predominant format IS 5-7-5. Longer verses are just not in my poetry wheelhouse. Pleased you thought picture and poem are effective for this contest entry.
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
Very nicely done. The weathered face of this fellow brings heart and soul to many. He perhaps was a man who had a rugged life or a man who fought for his country when he was at sea.
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2022
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Very nicely done. The weathered face of this fellow brings heart and soul to many. He perhaps was a man who had a rugged life or a man who fought for his country when he was at sea.
Comment Written 20-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2022
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Thanks Rosemary for your vote of confidence for my contest entry.
Yes, that image was outstanding. Maybe he was an old salt in defense of our great country.
Comment from Patty Palmer
This man looks as though he has weathered many a storm, battening down the hatches. I bet he could tell some whale of a fish stories. This is an excellent picture for this poem. Good luck with the contest.
Patty
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2022
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This man looks as though he has weathered many a storm, battening down the hatches. I bet he could tell some whale of a fish stories. This is an excellent picture for this poem. Good luck with the contest.
Patty
Comment Written 20-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2022
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Patty,
Methinks some of your comments are the kernels of a poem you might write.
I agree that the artwork is an outstanding image. I think it is a great advertisement for my contest entry.
Comment from Janice Canerdy
Your poem is very descriptive of the avowed seafarer who has grown old during his travels and still loves the sea--indicated by his far-off gaze.
Excellent use of your seventeen syllables
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2022
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Your poem is very descriptive of the avowed seafarer who has grown old during his travels and still loves the sea--indicated by his far-off gaze.
Excellent use of your seventeen syllables
Comment Written 19-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2022
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Janice,
Thanks for your insight about my contest entry. The chosen artwork is perfect for my 5-7-5 format.
Comment from tempeste
Ciao Marco, this is an awesome entry!
I googled the word ekphrasis, which appears in your subtitle.
comes from Greek ; the written description of a work of art.
Your words definitely describe your choice of artwork.
His face reflect the hardships of a life at sea.
Love the word : seafaring days.
And the last line wraps up the poem beautifully: the fisherman look exactly like he is reminiscing times at sea.
I think his stories would be interesting to hear.. some so incredible that we would think they were surely tales
but I think the deep blue holds many mysteries and people like fishermen during their life at sea have witnessed a couple.
I ll keep an eye out for this gem when it hits the booth. ( wink)
PS: you know I hate seeing a syllable go to waste .. instead of ..the.... you could have put an adjective eg:
gray , tanned, broad, pale, scarred, rough. ( biggrin)
Keep safe!
reply by tempeste on 20-Feb-2022
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Ciao Marco, this is an awesome entry!
I googled the word ekphrasis, which appears in your subtitle.
comes from Greek ; the written description of a work of art.
Your words definitely describe your choice of artwork.
His face reflect the hardships of a life at sea.
Love the word : seafaring days.
And the last line wraps up the poem beautifully: the fisherman look exactly like he is reminiscing times at sea.
I think his stories would be interesting to hear.. some so incredible that we would think they were surely tales
but I think the deep blue holds many mysteries and people like fishermen during their life at sea have witnessed a couple.
I ll keep an eye out for this gem when it hits the booth. ( wink)
PS: you know I hate seeing a syllable go to waste .. instead of ..the.... you could have put an adjective eg:
gray , tanned, broad, pale, scarred, rough. ( biggrin)
Keep safe!
Comment Written 19-Feb-2022
reply by tempeste on 20-Feb-2022
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Ciao ! I just voted for your awesome poem ..you have three votes now!
Ciao!
Comment from PoemsOfDD
I like this 5-7-5. The face in the photo tells so many stories in one take.
Great presentation all around. My only comment would be to possibly tweak the last line. You have used 'his' to start first and last line. One might consider this overuse of one word in this restrictive 17 syllable format.
- his gaze looks afar. As a suggestions:
- a far away look.
Food for thought.
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2022
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I like this 5-7-5. The face in the photo tells so many stories in one take.
Great presentation all around. My only comment would be to possibly tweak the last line. You have used 'his' to start first and last line. One might consider this overuse of one word in this restrictive 17 syllable format.
- his gaze looks afar. As a suggestions:
- a far away look.
Food for thought.
Comment Written 19-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2022
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DD,
Good catch! I changed the first line from ?his? to ?the.? My wife liked my current last line as is!
Comment from prettybluebirds
You couldn't have found a face with more character if you tried. The photo adds so much to your writing. It is perfect. The open is nicely written and I enjoyed reading it. Best of luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2022
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You couldn't have found a face with more character if you tried. The photo adds so much to your writing. It is perfect. The open is nicely written and I enjoyed reading it. Best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 18-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2022
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Thanks for those compliments PrettyBBs! This is one time when FanArt - my go-to for artwork - did not supply an alternative photo or illustration to pair with my typical 5-7-5 format.
