Reviews from

Reinventing Destiny

Out of the frying pan into the fire. (1,115 words)

9 total reviews 
Comment from BLACKTITANIUM86
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Yeah...Usually where there is smoke, your going to get the fire.
And most people who are crazy enough to jump into the frying pan,
usually get burned in the fire. You have amazing style of writing.
And since it's all about networking our unity, I will be looking forward to our support. Stay Connected

 Comment Written 19-Jan-2022

Comment from LJbutterfly
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This is quite an imaginative story describing two women at a deserted bar. Unfortunately, Destiny doesn't get to reinvent herself. This could very well be a true story, as many young women have no goals and low self esteem. There could be a part two to this story as Destiny discovers she is capable of more than waiting for a man to tell her what she can and cannot do. As is, the story is well written and with the twist at the end (sex-trafficking), is a fitting contender in the contest. Best wishes.

 Comment Written 19-Jan-2022


reply by the author on 19-Jan-2022
    Thanks for your high opinion of this story. While I was writing it, imagining the 2 women's lives, Destiny became a stronger character in my forward projection and I could sense another story in the offing.
Comment from lyenochka
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

You did a great job with an engaging story. While Destiny's (great name!) life leaves much to be desired, Kat was offering a life of luxury which in reality would have been hell as a trafficked victim. As unhappy as Destiny was with Jaxxon, it seems she'll have to stand on her own feet another way. Best wishes in the contest!

 Comment Written 19-Jan-2022


reply by the author on 19-Jan-2022
    Some readers have missed the sex trafficking aspect and think she has just missed the opportunity to have a luxurious lifestyle. That's probably how a lot of young people end up 'entertaining' the likes of Epstein and Prince Andrew.
Comment from royowen
Excellent
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How many times in a lifetime does one get an opportunity to leave humdrumsville and head off for an all expenses paid trip into rich land, where gold and jewels, travel and luxury unlimited rear it's delicious head! Then...back to earth. Beautifully written I hope she escapes, blessings Roy

 Comment Written 19-Jan-2022


reply by the author on 19-Jan-2022
    Oh, but Destiny's opportunity was a poisoned chalice. She was about to be taken advantage of in Kat's sex-trafficking. I might have to write a sequel to help Destiny escape from Jaxxon.
reply by royowen on 19-Jan-2022
    Good idea
Comment from Katherine M. Kean
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I enjoyed this story a lot until Jaxxon entered the bar. The description and character development were both excellent. But with his arrival, the ladies seemed to lose control of their lives and I felt that the story remained unresolved.

 Comment Written 19-Jan-2022


reply by the author on 19-Jan-2022
    Yes, they did both lose control of their lives. Kat was trying to exert control over Destiny, so Jaxxon 'saved' her from that slippery slope to being sex-trafficked. I left the story up in the air because I enjoyed writing the story and I began to feel it could be developed into a longer piece, exploring what happened to Destiny while finding her own life path, once she did get away from Jaxxon.
Comment from Earl Corp
Excellent
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This is the first one of these entries I've read in the two women in a bar contest. Very nice job. Good luck in the contest. Stay safe and stay healthy in the new year.

 Comment Written 19-Jan-2022


reply by the author on 19-Jan-2022
    Thank you for your time and kind response to my story.
Comment from Thatguypk
Excellent
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Very good. You drew me into the story, full of curiosity. This would make a good first chapter of a novel about how Destiny escapes the grip of Jaxxon and finds a better, or different, life. A very enjoyable read. Thanks. Good luck in the contest.
PK

 Comment Written 19-Jan-2022

Comment from giraffmang
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hi there,

Nice piece for the competition. I liked the to and fro between the two woman and the set up at the start with Destiny is very well told.

Good stuff
GMG

 Comment Written 19-Jan-2022


reply by the author on 19-Jan-2022
    I was hoping you might chance upon this story. I appreciate your supportive comments. Thank you.
Comment from Barry Penfold
Excellent
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Great story telling especially given the short time to put it all together. Loved the scenario painted so well. Perhaps you could extend this to a more substantial story where Destiny does escape . Well done.
Regards
Barry Penfold

 Comment Written 19-Jan-2022