Reviews from

The Writings of a Mouse

Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "Him"
Pieces of my Heart

23 total reviews 
Comment from Melodie Michelle
Excellent
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Perfect entry for the Honorable Revenge contest and best of wishes in the contest my friend! The words flow perfectly together throughout the piece and didn't seem forced;-)

Thanks so much for sharing this well written piece with us and many blessings to you and your family this New Year!

 Comment Written 16-Jan-2022


reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
    Thank you so much for your review and your well wishes! The same to you! May you and your family have a happy and healthy New Year! I appreciate the words of encouragement.
reply by Melodie Michelle on 16-Jan-2022
    ;-)
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Excellent
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Gripping story--payback's a bitch--love it!

Heads up--you switched from third person (she) to *first person (I) then back to ***third--be consistent.

*Suddenly he took a lunge at me! At I first screamed! Then I remembered I had planned to deal with him once and for all tonight. ...

... When [my] mama came two summers later we had a happy reunion. "I'm so happy to be with you again Mama!" [***Sarah=>I] said




 Comment Written 16-Jan-2022


reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
    Thank you so much for the kind review and for the grammar tips which I can always use! :)
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
Excellent
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Indeed, it was a honourable revenge; no benefit of doubt, I read, I find it is an interesting read, this story appears true, though strange, a helpless 9-year old girl was forced to defend her honour, her mother was happy and glad to receive her back; the girl learnt a lot about animals; well said, well done; post more. ALCREATOR LITT DEAR (D R)

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 Comment Written 16-Jan-2022


reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
    Thank you so much for your review and there is a basis of truth in this story although not the revenge. Thank you for the tip about the signature I forgot to remove it!