The Writings of a Mouse
Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "Him"Pieces of my Heart
23 total reviews
Comment from Melodie Michelle
Perfect entry for the Honorable Revenge contest and best of wishes in the contest my friend! The words flow perfectly together throughout the piece and didn't seem forced;-)
Thanks so much for sharing this well written piece with us and many blessings to you and your family this New Year!
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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Perfect entry for the Honorable Revenge contest and best of wishes in the contest my friend! The words flow perfectly together throughout the piece and didn't seem forced;-)
Thanks so much for sharing this well written piece with us and many blessings to you and your family this New Year!
Comment Written 16-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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Thank you so much for your review and your well wishes! The same to you! May you and your family have a happy and healthy New Year! I appreciate the words of encouragement.
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;-)
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Gripping story--payback's a bitch--love it!
Heads up--you switched from third person (she) to *first person (I) then back to ***third--be consistent.
*Suddenly he took a lunge at me! At I first screamed! Then I remembered I had planned to deal with him once and for all tonight. ...
... When [my] mama came two summers later we had a happy reunion. "I'm so happy to be with you again Mama!" [***Sarah=>I] said
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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Gripping story--payback's a bitch--love it!
Heads up--you switched from third person (she) to *first person (I) then back to ***third--be consistent.
*Suddenly he took a lunge at me! At I first screamed! Then I remembered I had planned to deal with him once and for all tonight. ...
... When [my] mama came two summers later we had a happy reunion. "I'm so happy to be with you again Mama!" [***Sarah=>I] said
Comment Written 16-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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Thank you so much for the kind review and for the grammar tips which I can always use! :)
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
Indeed, it was a honourable revenge; no benefit of doubt, I read, I find it is an interesting read, this story appears true, though strange, a helpless 9-year old girl was forced to defend her honour, her mother was happy and glad to receive her back; the girl learnt a lot about animals; well said, well done; post more. ALCREATOR LITT DEAR (D R)
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reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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Indeed, it was a honourable revenge; no benefit of doubt, I read, I find it is an interesting read, this story appears true, though strange, a helpless 9-year old girl was forced to defend her honour, her mother was happy and glad to receive her back; the girl learnt a lot about animals; well said, well done; post more. ALCREATOR LITT DEAR (D R)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 16-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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Thank you so much for your review and there is a basis of truth in this story although not the revenge. Thank you for the tip about the signature I forgot to remove it!